TAGGED

Haven't posted in a week because school has been disgustingly hectic, i mean its just the first week of proper lectures and we're already pulling all nighters. All in an effort to wear a frickin wig and gown after 9 months of torture. Put me in your prayers abeg. Not much has happened but you know i can spin a good yarn from the most inconsequential events, so stay glued to your PC screens. but first of all i was tagged,

The Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2.Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they've been tagged by leaving a message on their blog

1. I was tagged by my fabulous fashion savvy friend j'adore-fashion.blogspot.com

2. 6 quirks/habits
- i carry a tube of vaseline with me everywhere i go [no matter what your hand cream or chapstick promises, nothing beats petroleum jelly]
- i looove bread and suya [one of the nicest things the bf ever did for me was to drive me to the suya spot in front of eko le meridien at almost midnight, just because i was feeling peckish]
- i hate my ankles, i think they look like they're retaining water or something
- i'm still afraid of the dark, shocking i know
- i have crippling animophobia
- i was practically a savant as a child, i don't know what happened as i grew up but i think someone from my village swore for me

3.6 random people
fashionchalet
stylebubble
kemberlysramblings
uberfabulousnigeriangirl
intheolsenscloset
pandorasbox

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIUGO

Zee birthday girl
Ella and Miss Pretty 'N'' Thick

O.G and Uju
Eyin guys
C'est moi! C'est chic! C'est fabulous!

14 months on Friday, baby we're doing big things! love you.

PAPA!!!!!!!!

LINUS 4th NOVEMBER 2008 - 4th NOVEMBER 2008

I've never really being a skin person, its just that brown stuff that covers my whole body and protects my internal organs and stuff, right? I have friends who can't even remember the last time they saw their dressing tables because of all their Elizabeth Arden this and Clinique that, miracle night repair, microdermabrasion, revitalift etc, name it, they've got it. Not me though, i'm surprisingly low maintenance when it comes to skin and have stuck faithfully to my Olay for donkey years and this isn't Olay for anything special mind you, its just regular Olay lotion, a baby could even use it [ unlike some lotions I know that if a baby even smelled it, the poor infant would just keel over and die]. I don't even use a cleanser, facial wash, I've been so blessed I never thought all that gloop was necessary until now.

My nightmare began very inauspiciously one morning, I was making my bed in school when I spotted something that made my blood curdle in my veins, it was dreadful, with malevolent markings, red and black warpaint, something which any QC boarder would recognize, papa aka skirt and blouse, aka electric ant and it was headed straight for me, i grabbed the nearest weapon I could find [unfortunately my November Harper's Bazaar] and attacked the monster, when I was done killing it, I spotted another one but too late, it was already making tracks for the door, presumably to spread the word about the murder. I had seen the last of it, I thought.

A few days later, I made my usual early morning dash to Bwari from Abuja and because I was in a hurry I forgot to shake out my shirt before wearing it. I want to digress a bit here, I'm not untidy, i'm actually an extremely fastidious person but Bwari is INFESTED. Martha freakin Stewart would have problems here. Its not even mosquitoes we're dealing with, if it were just that, Raid and a good strong mosquito net would suffice, but these are carnivorous insects, some of them the size of baby rats each with a different agenda and a liking for a different body part. Some are neck insects, some legs, you get my drift. Some dont even bite they're just looking for accomodation and are perfectly happy to share your bed, follow you to the bathroom, eat your food and I swear even make up with you [ i saw one with a suspiciously smooth face and I swear it was my MAC studio fix that did it]. Anyhoo back to the point, I wore my shirt, folded the sleeves a la Kanye West and reached up behind me to put my hair in a pony tail when I felt a curious tingling in the crook of my arm, but i discounted it. 15 minutes later, I was in class and was admiring the precise way my sleeves were folded and how I could give Kanye a run for his money when I noticed a red patch on the inside of my elbow, I thought I had scratched myself somehow and just fashied it, but 2 hours later it started to hurt, I still ignored it.

Cut to a day later and my arm looked like something out of Dr. Who, nobody had to tell me it was papa. Of course everybody had their remedies, from toothpaste, to GV to urine, even S had, had a similar run in with them, I was not alone but being a firm believer in modern medicine I went to the hospital. As I write this my body is being pumped full of antibiotics, there is purple GV all over my arm and I had to fashion a makeshift bandage to cover my arm so i won't gross people out. Now I'm searching for some cover up, miracle night repair and the whole damn arsenal like crack. I would sell my LV Speedy to have a regular arm again, seriously.

I would like to use this medium to apologise to the family of the deceased electric ant [which i have named Linus, because I hate that name]. Please forgive me, don't send anybody else after me, I'm very sorry for killing Linus , if you can get your account details to me I would like to give you some finacial assistance. I know,no amount of money can replace him but maybe your own personal MAC studio fix, in NW45 perhaps?

YES WE CAN, AND WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barack Hussein Obama beat John McCain to become the 44th president of the United States of America. Correction, he effing slaughtered him with 339 electoral votes to McCain's 139 as of 6.15am.

History is so made, it hurts.

Bye haters!

MY FAVOURITE MONTH

November never used to be my favourite month, it barely even registered on my radar, i mean i'm born in July, I LOVE July. I always thought of November the way Jo March in 'Little Women' did, as the bleakest, darkest month, sort of a darkest before dawn month, you know heralding Christmas and all that. But lately I've been absolutely LOVING November and not just because a certain someone was born on the 25th, but also because it has a sort of pre-climatic feel to it. The weather starts to get colder, all of us Nigerians that like to pretend we're in yankee start layering and wearing jackets and boots. The fall fashions are gawjus, I mean f/w is my absolute favourite fashion season, its such a departure from the sickening pastels and candy colours of spring and summer. It has my two favourite zodiac signs Scorpio and Saggitarius [ i have no idea why i love them, they just seem way cooler than wimpy Cancer]. And last but not least my favourite [i'm overusing the word i know] literary character ever, I love her even more than Becky Bloomwood Brandon [ shocking Nkem, I know] , Wilhemina Winthrop Ikehorn Orsini Elliot from 'Scruples' was born on the 1st of November. Its no reason to love a month but trust me, I'm possessed like that.

November kicks ass.

Halloween for me was pretty uneventful, but honestly Nigerians are imaginative, I think the Halloween themed parties this year eclipsed any I've seen before. I mean Naija rocked it like it was going out of style, elaborate decorations and costumes and what not. We just have yankee fever, when America sneezes, Nigeria catches a cold. Does anybody even know when Sango was born sef? Even New Yam Festivals we've been celebrating for eons, apart from the obligatory stint on CNN via Inside Africa, it is virtually unrecognized beyond Nigeria. But anyway who gives a flying saucepan, Halloween is way more fun than any old yam festival.

Have been in Abuja for almost 3 weeks and i'm still trying to settle in, but i got a massive boost last night from the opening of a new juice bar. I'm not a health nut or anything, I mean I take my calories like a man or like a genetically blessed female who has remained a size 6 for her whole adult life no matter what crap she ingests. But i really like fruits, its shocking because my idea of something nutritious yet refreshing is Baskin Robbins Butter Pecan ice-cream. Anyway since i'm a lazy bitch the thought of peeling pineapples and oranges sends me into an absolute tizzy, so whenever I find freshly squezzed juice [ not that concentrated shit] or fruit smoothies, i can almost sell my black, patent leather Lanvin tote to get it [almost, but not quite].

Back to the point, last night MEGA JUICE opened for business in Abuja, located at the Farmer's Market in Maitama [so you know they'll never run out of fresh fruit] their smoothies are absolutely to die for, refreshing yet nutritious is not the word. I practically OD'd on their mango smoothie last night, amaaayyyyzing. I Endorse!








The owner, Ray Ajugwo

My MMMC's

HAPPY ALL HALLOW'S EVE

This terrifying image I'm revealing to my loyal readers is Henrietta Okpaleke, without her regular Henrietta mask on. You see people, for years she has deceived us, walking around like a regular person while concealing this frightening visage you are now beholding. Yesterday being the day before Halloween, she decided to come clean and sent me this picture so I could reveal it to the inhabitants of Blogville. "I am tired of hiding behind a mask, I want to be free to show my real self in hopes that people will look beyond my outer freak to the beautiful person inside" she said.

Henry we love you, even though Afam might not after seeing this, but we do

Its a lie o, peep Henry in all her babeliciousness
Happy Halloween to you and you and you and especially you, LOML, HTIL and TBSIEH, love you. xxxx

AND HERE YOU HAVE IT

Methinks I made a mistake by adding the word 'fashion' to my blog title because I've been getting a lot of flack about the apparent lack of fashion content. Someone actually told me that they don't go online to read about my personal life. What people don't understand is that its MY blog, mine and no one else's, I can decide to name it "Observations Of The Primitive People's Of The Lower Niger By Fouta Djalon" and then fill the blog with pictures of cream cakes and how to prepare them and there's nuffink you or your mama can do about it.

But due to popular demand and because I'm a very nice and obliging person and also because you knowthat I know fashion, I'll start gradually with what i think is hot for F/W 08, at least what I'm wearing sha. Its too bad if noone can wear them, its not my fault my body's made for clothes.