ON DISTRICT 9

Like everyone else I'd been seeing trailers for the movie 'District 9' for a couple of months now but I'd never really rated it as a 'must see', alien invasions; not my thing. Then last week I heard that it had been pulled from all the cinemas in Nigeria and Information Minister; Dora Akunyili had [on behalf of Nigeria] written a letter to Sony Entertainment, who distributes 'District 9' to edit out the scenes in which Nigerians were portrayed in a not so favourable light.

Of course that got my amebo juices flowing and I had to go see what all the fuss was about, so one cold, windy night in Canary Wharf, I and my friends formed a Nigerian contingent and went to see what the dilly was. Let's just say I came out of there pissed as hell! I'm not an overly patriotic Nigerian but that movie was an effing piss take, they managed to insult us as a nation on every level. Not to be a complete hater, it was a good movie, engaging, action packed etc, i mean it wasn't my thing but I was able to sit through it [though I think that had more to do with the 8 pounds I paid to see the damn thing, compared to the 500 naira I usually pay at Silverbird or the 150 naira I'd have given to my homie down the road who'd have hit me up wit a bootleg right quick].

But I digress, back to the point 'District 9' is about aliens and humans co-existing side by side in Johannesburg and the movie begins when the South African government try to relocate the aliens from District 9 to another district where they won't be in such proximity with humans. So where my poor countrymen come in, is that within District 9, they're the only humans that live there and they're involved in arms selling, trading with the aliens, cannibalism, ritual killing, inter-species prostitution [wtf!] and the biggest insult of all, the gang leader is called 'Obasanjo'!. Now I'm all for freedom of expression and media and press or whatnot, after all I'm a writer, but this is actually extreme. In the first instance the movie is directed by a South African , Neill Blomkamp and set in South Africa but I can count on one hand how many times South Africa was mentioned in that movie, what I kept hearing was 'the Nigerians' this and 'the Nigerians' that. They made sure they didn't leave the viewers in any doubt as to who the criminals in the movie were, we were basically reduced to the level of the aliens maybe even lower, as in INTER SPECIES PROSTITUTION!!! What the hell! Nigerian girls sleeping with the aliens, who btw looked like giant prawns. I left the cinema thoroughly disgusted. Plus the sheer audacity of naming the gang leader Obasanjo was mind boggling, granted he's no Winston Churchill but that was just immensely disrespectful. Imagine Nigerian filmmakers making movies about South African gangsters and naming the leader Nelson Mandela, I doubt if that will fly. If they wanted that calibre of people in their movie seeing as the movie is set in Johannesburg, why not make the gangsters local South Africans? Instead they had to go all the way to West Africa and put Nigerians in a movie that should not have concerned them in the first place.

At the end of the movie, I actually stayed behind so I could see the credits and see if any Nigerian was foolish enough to actually be a cast member and what did I see? A foolish Nigerian called SAINT GREGORY NWOKEDI [we need to find this dude and set him straight]. How much could they have paid that man to appear in a movie that portrayed his country in such a damnable light, plus he's an Ibo man, I know my kinsmen like the Benjamins but I didn't think it was to this level. I am very dissapointed in the entire production team and I wholeheartedly support the Nigerian governments stand of banning 'District 9' from all the cinemas, at leat we won't participate in helping the movie make any more money.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get a lot of flak over this but I don't care. Some people are saying its Nigeria's fault in the first place because of the way we portray ourselves in Nollywood movies but I tell you, Nollywood is very far from District 9. The light in which my country is cast in this movie is a very unforgiving light and most people may think its not that serious and people don't really pay attention to things like this, but you'd be surprised at the kind of things the human brain internalizes. There are too many misinformed people in this world and movies like District 9 compund this misinformation, people who have no idea what Ngeria is like would have an even worse idea after seeing this movie. For example that gbegborun Perez Hilton put up a post about it and said maybe the Nigerian government should focus on running their country and not bothering about movies. To correct the misinformed Mr Hilton, only the Ministry of Information is involved in the boycotting of District 9 and it is their job to preserve Nigeria's public image as that ministry is essentially Nigeria's PR agency, so dude get your facts straight before mouthing off.

In conclusion, everybody go see that movie, we need to know what we're up against in this world but i urge you, if you're not Nigerian, to regard the scenes containing Nigerians as utter fabrication. Like every other country we have our problems but we did not deserve District 9. Oh and newsflash the FBI list of top internet scam countries goes thus:
1) United States of America - 66%
2) United Kingdom - 10%
3) Nigeria - 7%

Well what do we have here, a mere 7%, whoulda thunk it? Someone needs to go tell the ad agency that handles the Sony Playstation 3 account, me thinks that ad has got to be re-written as "an American internet millionaire" non?

UNO MOMENTO

Wanna take a minute to let y'all now that I'm having a blast! Its been a jumpoff night after night, pictures when I get back to Nigeria. To all my darlings taking care of me (Achike, Hilda, Ediri, Biz) love you guys!

P.S. Going for a Derby match this Sunday, Man U vs Man City. I'm not a soccer fan but I'm super super excited. going to make a lot of people veeery jealous (you know yourselves). Look out for me on the North Stand, Tier 3, Row 3, Seat 90. I'm gonna be the girl in the Spitfire, taking pictures of Rooney, Scholes, Robinho, Adebayor and co and bb'ing them to my brother who's gonna be weeping with envy.

Oh yeah and if any of y'all reading this are in London, hit me up, I'm a jobless woman

Bisous xxx

MIA......NOT!!!!

Ok I know exams been over for almost a month now but I've been too busy partying, sleeping and eating (not necessarily in that order) to visit Blogville. Anyhoo, wassup people! So much has happened I don't even know where to start, most of it is not quite PG so will never make an appearance here and the rest is not just public fodder. Its times like this I regret being a non-anonymous blogger because I can't be as expressive as I want, whatever sha, I've made my four poster, I might as well lie in it.

During exams I was a total mess, not sleeping, migraines, the works. so I've been making sure I catch up with the rest of the world once I got out of that prison called Bwari and that obviously means having an uber active social life. Basically when I was younger I was super, super shy ( not the bold bitch I am now) and any contact with the opposite sex was severely limited, so i was a veeery late bloomer; in every sense of the word, then I thought life ended at 19. I now know that I'm not even close to my peak, not even by an inch, first of all I'm way hotter now than I was when I was 20 and I know I'll be hotter in my 30's and I've suddenly recovered from the disease of 'i must marry' and for the first time in my life I'm having a ball playing the field, lol (too many cliche's I know). What I'm trying to say amidst all these ramblings is, maybe my mother did jazz for me or my pheromones got heightened or I don't know what the heck happened but I've suddenly become the flavour of the month, every day! Not like I wasn't ardently pursued before but now its verging on the ridiculous, fun but slightly freaky. I guess I'll just enjoy my Adaku Revival while its still going strong before some intrepid dude comes and traps me again.

Life is too freakin fabulous! Lol, I'm sure some of y'all are thinking I'm probably slightly unbalanced now but I just can't articulate how great my life is right now here because I have to be on that privacy p from time to time. Oh yeah, almost forgot..... I have a HUGE, HUGE, FABULOUS project in the works right now. I've been tapped to be an integral part of something that gonna revolutionize the Nigerian music, fashion and lifestyle industry and I'm sooo excited about it. Can"t go into details now because it hasn't launched yet, but when it does I promise its gonna be LEGENDARY and y'all are gonna be the first to know about it.

Its a whole new 3WP phase and y"all are coming with me. I promise to be more post friendly and whatever gist can possibly make the grade will def get on here. Oh snap! Nearly forgot, last weekend was live! Haven't been out properly in Lagos in eons and I did the rounds on Friday, damn it was mad. Went to support my homie Sammie, where he was performing at Swe Bar, headed to Caliente which wasn't saying much, then.......I went to Insomnia and it just felt like I was back in the 70's partying at Studio 54 wuth Marisa Berenson, Andy Warhol and Janice Dickinson. The music was wild, the people were beautiful, the shayo was flowing...it was a great night. It was like Hot Guys Inc. exploded in there, I and my friends just held our breath collectively and dived right in and I ended the night by being chased by the police, having an accident (mild one) and getting stuck in a sand bar somewhere off Lekki Epe expressway between 2nd and 3rd roundabout and having to be rescued by some very dubious looking dudes (who turned out to be our saviours).

It was good, clean, juvenile fun and I can now resume my job of being an adult and a barrister no less. First of all though, a well deserved vacay, London in 6 days time (yay!) where I'm going to be reunited with xxx. Good times, lol, a bientot xxx

SUPER BANKY

I know y'all will be like "wtf is this heifer doing on here after claiming she wants to go and read her books?" Well its my blog and imma do what I want to, so sucks to haters! Anyhoo this is solely for the purpose of letting you guys know that Banky W aka Bankole Wellington aka Mr Capable is a boss! Damn right! I dont know if you guys have seen his note on Facebook but for those who haven't its a MUST READ. Mr Reuben Abati is the chairman of the editorial board of Guardian Newspapers and since he's such a bigz boyz, he decided to take a swipe at the Nigerian music industry and Banky put the nigger on blast! As in, he gave it to him nicely, his response is articulate, well researched, chock full of book learning and just goes to show, always get your damn facts right before you try to take someone out.

Culled from lindaikeji.blogspot.com

A Nation's Identity Crisis
By Reuben Abati
You may not have noticed it: Nigeria is suffering from an identity crisis imposed on it in part by an emergent generation of irreverent and creative young Nigerians who are revising old norms and patterns. And for me nothing demonstrates this more frontally than the gradual change of the name of the country.

When Flora Shaw, Lord Lugard's consort came up with the name, Nigeria in 1914, she meant to define the new country by the strategic importance of the Niger River. And indeed, River Niger used to be as important to this country as the Nile was/is to Egypt. We grew up as school children imagining stories about how Lugard in one special romantic moment, asked his mistress to have the honour of naming a new country in Africa. Something like: "Hello, sweetheart, what name would you rather give the new country that I am creating?"

"Let me give it a thought? ....Awright, how about Ni-ge-ria darling?"
"That would do. That would do. How thoughtful, my fair lady? You are forever so dependable"
And the name stuck and it has become our history and identity. But these days, the name Nigeria is gradually being replaced by so many variants, that I am afraid a new set of Nigerians may in the immediate future not even know the correct spelling of the name of their country. For these Nigerians whose lives revolve mostly around the internet and the blogosphere, the name Nigeria has been thrown out of the window. Our dear country is now "naija" or "nija". What happened to the "-eria" that Ms Shaw must have thoughtfully included?

The new referents for Nigeria are now creeping into writings, conversations, and internet discourse. I am beaten flat by the increasing re-writing of the country's name not only as naija or nija, but consider this: "9ja". Or this other name for Nigeria: "gidi". There is even a television programme that is titled "Nigerzie". In addiiton, Etisalat, a telecom company has since adopted a marketing platform that is titled: "0809ja." Such mainstreaming of these new labels is alarming.
This obviously is the age of abbreviations.

The emerging young generation lacks the discipline or the patience to write complete sentences or think through a subject to its logical end. It is a generation in a hurry, it feels the constraints of space so much, it has to reduce everything to manageable, cryptic forms. This is what the e-mail and text message culture has done to the popular consciousness. Older generations of Nigerians brought up on a culture of correctness and compeleteness may never get used to the re-writing of Nigeria as "9ja". Language is mutatory, but referring to the motherland or the fatherland in slang terms may point to a certain meaninglessness or alienation. What's in a name?

In Africa, names are utilitarian constructs not merely labels. Even among the Ijaw where people bear such unique names as University, Conference, FEDECO, Manager, Heineken, Education, Polo, Boyloaf, Bread, College, Summit, Aeroplane, Bicycle, Internet - there is a much deeper sense to the names. But the name Nigeria means nothing to many young Nigerians. They have no reason to respect the sanctity of the name. They don't know Flora Shaw or Lord Lugard, and even if they do, they are likely to say as Ogaga Ifowodo does in an unforgettable poem: "God Punish you, Lord Lugard." Eedris Abdulakarim summarises the concern of young Nigerians in one of his songs when he declared: "Nigeria jagajaga, everything scata, scata"

The post-modernist, deconstructive temper of emergent youth culture is even more manifest in the cynical stripping to the bones character of today's Nigerian hip-hop. It is marked by a Grunge character that shouts: non-meaning and alienation. On my way to Rutam House the other day, I listened at mid-day to a continuous stream of old musical numbers from 93.7 Radio FM. Soulful, meaningful tunes of Felix Lebarty, Chris Okotie (as he then was), Mandy Ojugbana, Christy Essien-Igbokwe, Onyeka Onwenu, Sony Okosun, Alex O, Ras Kimono, Majek Fashek, Evi Edna-Ogoli, Bongos Ikwue, Veno Marioghae, Uche Ibeto, Dora Ifudu, Mike Okri, Dizzy K. Falola, and Tina Onwudiwe. Onyeka Onwenu sang; "One love, keep us together". Veno Marioghae sang: "Nigeria Go Survive". Even in the romantic offerings like Chris Okotie's "I need someone, give me your love", or Felix Lebarty's "Ifeoma, Ifeoma, I want to marry you, give me your love" and Stella Monye's "Oko mi ye, duro ti mi o", or Tina Onwudiwe's award-winning "Asiko lo laye". there was so much meaning and polish.

This was in the 80s. That generation which sang music under its real names, not abbreviations or slangs, was continuing, after the fashion of T.S. Eliot's description of "Tradition and the Individual Talent", a pattern of meaning that dates back to traditional African musicians and all the musicians that succeeded them: S. B. Bakare, Victor Olaiya, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, Sunny Ade, Ebenezer Obey, Dan Maraya of Jos, Osita Osadebey, Ayinla Omowura, Victor Uwaifo, Geraldo Pino, Rex Lawson, I. K. Dairo, Haruna Ishola, Yusuf Olatunji, Inyang Henshaw, Tunji Oyelana, Bobby Benson, Tunde Nightingale, and even the later ones: Shina Peters, Dele Abiodun, Y.K. Ajao, Ayinde Barrister, Kollington Ayinla, Batile Alake, Sir Warrior, Moroccco Nwa Maduko, Orlando Owoh, Salawa Abeni, KWAM I (Arabambi 1 and please include his disciples- Wasiu Alabi Pasuma et al), Oliver de Coque (Importer and Exporter...), Ayefele, Atorise .... But there has been a terrible crisis in the construction of music.

The children, grandchildren and great grandchildren of these ancestors have changed the face and identity of Nigerian music. As a rule, gospel musicians, given the nature of their form, sing meaningful lyrics, but the airwaves these days have been taken over by the children of "gidi","naija", "nija", "nigerzie" and "9ja". I listen to them too, but everyday, I struggle to make meaning out of their lyrics.

Music is about sense, sound, shape and skills. But there is an on-going deficit in all other aspects except sound. So much sound is being produced in Nigeria, but there is very little sense, shape and skills. They call it hip-hop. They try to imitate Western hip pop stars. They even dress like them. The boys don't wear trousers on their waists: the new thing is called "sagging", somewhere below the waist it looks as if the trouser is about to fall off. The women are struggling to expose strategic flesh as Janet Jackson once did. The boys and the girls are cloaked in outlandish jewellery and their prime heroes are Ja-Rule, Lil'Wayne, Fat Joe, P. Diddy, 50 Cents, Ronz Brown, Chris Brown, Sean Kingston, Nas, Juelz Santana, Akon, Young Jeezy, Mike Jones, T-Pain, F.L.O-RIDA, Will.I.am, Beyonce, Rihanna, Ciara, Keri Hilson, Jay-Z, Ace hood, Rick Ross, Birdman, Busta Rhymes, Cassidy, Chamillionaire, Soulja Boy, Young Joc, Kanye West, R. Kelly, Kevin Rudolph, T.I.P-king of the South, Ludacris, Plies-The real goon, The Game, Young Rox, Flow killa, Osmosis (2 sick), Flow-ssik, Raprince, Bionic, Fabulous, Jadakiss, Nas, Swiss Beatz, Dj Khaled, Maze, Yung Buck, Maino, MoBB Deep, Lloyd Banks, Olivia, Lady Gaga... Well, God Almighty, we are in your hands.

And so the most impactful musicians in Nigeria today, the ones who rule the party include the following: D'Banj, MI, Mode Nine, Sauce kid, Naeto C, Sasha, Ikechukwu, 9ice, Bouqui, Mo'cheddah, Teeto, P-square, Don-jazzy, Wande Coal, 2-face, Faze, Black Face, Dr. Sid, D'prince, K-Switch, Timaya, Dj-Zeez, Dj Neptune, Banky w., Big bamo, Art quake, Bigiano, Durella, Eldee, Kelly Hansome, Lord of Ajasa, M.P., Terry tha rapman, Weird MC, Y.Q., Da grin, kel, Roof-top Mcs, Pype, Niga Raw, Ghetto p., Kaka, Kaha, Terry G, Ill Bliss, Zulezoo, Pipe, Dj Jimmy jatt, X-project, Konga, Gino, Morachi... Well, the Lord is God.

These are Nigerian children who were given proper names by their parents. Ikechukwu bears his real name. But who are these other ones who have since abandoned their proper names? For example, 9ice's real name is Abolore Akande, (what a fine name!), Tu face (Innocent Idibia), Sauce Kid (Babalola Falemi), D'Banj (Dapo Oyebanjo), Banky w. (Bankole Willington), P-Square (Peter and Paul), MI (Jude Abaga), Timaya (Enetimi Alfred Odom), Sasha (Yetunde Alabi), Weird MC (Adesola Idowu). But why such strange names? They don't sing. They rap. Most of them don't play instruments, they use synthetic piano.

At public functions, they mime. They are not artists, they perform. They are not necessarily composers, they dance. The more terrible ones can't even sing a correct musical note. They talk. And they are all businessmen and women. They are more interested in commerce and self-advertisement, name recognition, brand extension and memory recall! They want a name that sells, not some culturally conditioned name that is tied down to culture and geography. But the strange thing is that they are so successful. Nollywood has projected Nigeria, the next big revelations are in hip hop.

Despite the identity crisis and the moral turpitude that we find in Nigeria's contemporary hip-hop, the truth is that it is a brand of music that sells. Nigeria's hip hop is bringing the country so much international recognition. All those strange names are household names across the African continent, so real is this that the phrase "collabo" is now part of the vocabulary of the new art. It speaks to an extension of frontiers. In Nigeria, it is now possible to hold a party without playing a single foreign musical track, the great grand children of Nigerian music are belting out purely danceable sounds which excites the young at heart. But the output belongs majorly to the age of meaningless and prurience. The lyrics says it all.

Rooftop MC sings for example: "Ori mi wu o, e lagi mo". This is a very popular song. But all it says is: "my head is swollen, please hit it with a log of wood." X-Project sings: "Lori le o di gonbe (2x), e so fun sisi ologe ko ya faya gbe, ko ya faya gbe, file, gbabe, se be, bobo o ti e le, wo bo nse fe sa hale hale niwaju omoge, ha, lori le odi gonbe, .....sisi ologe ki lo di saya o, so fun mi ki lofe, o wa on fire o...." Now, what does this mean in real terms? But let's go to Naeto C: "kini big deal, kini big deal, sebi sebi we're on fire", or D'Banj: " my sweet potato, I wanna make you wife, I wanna make you my wife o, see I no understand o, cause I dey see well well, but dey say love is blind, see I never thought I will find someone like you that will capture my heart and there will be nothing I can do....". Yes, we are in the age of sweet potato. And so Art quake sings: "E be like fire dey burn my body, e je ki n fera, oru lo n mu mi. Open your hand like say you wan fly away. Ju pa, ju se, ka jo ma sere, alanta, alanta."

And here is Zulezoo, another popular Nigerian musical team: "Daddy o, daddy, daddy wen you go for journey, somebody enter for mummy's house, person sit down for mummy bed, person push mummy, mummy push person, mummy fall for bed yakata, daddy, o daddy, the man jus dey do kerewa kerewa...kerewa ke" And Dj-Zeez: "ori e o 4 ka sibe, ori e o 4 ka sibe, 4 ka sibe, 4 ka sibe". And MI: "Anoti, anoti, anoti ti, anoti titi." And Konga: "Baby konga so konga, di konga, ileke konga, ju pa pa, ju pa, konga, ju pa pa, ju pa, sibe".. And 9ice: "gongo a so, kutupu a wu, eni a de ee, aji se bi oyo laari; oyo o se bi baba enikan, kan, i be double now, aye n lo, a mi to o, gongo a so, oti so o, e wo le e wo enu oko..." Or Tony Tetuila: "U don hit my car, oyinbo repete, u don hit my car o". Or Weird MC: "Sola lo ni jo, lyrics lori gangan, awa lo ni jo". Sheer drivel. So much sound, little sense. Is this the future? Maybe not.

Most of the music being produced now will not be listenable in another five years and this perhaps is the certain fate of commercial art that is driven by branding, show and cash. But we should be grateful all the same for the music, coming out of Nigeria also at this time in the soul, gospel, hip, hop genre: the music that is of Femi Anikulapo-Kuti, Lagbaja, Asa (there is fire on the mountain/and no one seems to be on the run/ there is fire on the mountain now..."), Ara, Sam Okposo, Dare, Sunny Neji, Infinity (now a broken up team), African China, Alariwo of Afrika.... We suffer nonetheless in music as in the national nomenclature, an identity crisis. A country's character is indexed into its arts and culture, eternal purveyors of tones and modes. Nigerian youths now sing of broken heads, raw sex, uselessness and raw, aspirational emotionalism. A sign of the times? Yes, I guess.

I find further justification in the national anthem, many versions of which now exist. I grew up in this same country knowing only one way of singing the national anthem: from "Nigeria we hail thee" to "Arise o Compatriots". The singing of the national anthem is supposed to be a solemn moment. Arms clasped by the side, a straight posture, and the mind strictly focussed on the ideals of patriotism and nationalism. Stillness. Nobody moves. And the national song is rendered in an unchanging format. But not so any longer. There are so many versions of the Nigerian national anthem these days. Same lyrics but different musical rhythms.

I have heard the national anthem sung in juju, in fuji, in hip hop, in Ishan's igbagbolemini, in acapella mode, even reggae. I attended an ocassion once, the rendition of the national music was so enthralling, people started dancing. Even the photographers and cameramen danced with their cameras. For me that was the ultimate expression of the people's cynicism. The prevalent mood is as expressed by Dj-Zeez: "ori e 4 ka sibe, 4 ka sibe": an epigrammatic, onomatopoeic, market-driven diminution of language as vehicle and sign. What kind of people are we? A dancing nation? Dancing and writing away our frustrations and caring little about sense, in this country that is now known as "naija", "nija", "9ja", "nigerzie," "gidi"?


Banky W's response
My response to Mr Reuben Abati's article in The Guardian Newspapers
This is my response to the article entitled "A Nation's Identity Crisis" that recently ran in The Guardian Newspapers. It was written by Mr Reuben Abati, a well respected name in Nigerian Journalism.

Please try and read the original article before commenting on my response. As Mr Abati has stated his opinion, I felt it neccessary to state mine. If anything I'm sure both pieces are at least food for thought.

Dear Sir,
In the immortal words attributed to P.T. Barnum, "I don't care what the newspapers say about me, at least spell my name right." My name IS Banky W, full name being Olubankole Wellington. Not Willington, as you stated in your article entitled "A Nation's Identity Crisis". I read the piece repeatedly, and found that misspelling my name wasn’t the only error. At it's worst, the article seemed like an attempt to discredit and slander an entire generation of artistes and consumers, and at best it came across as having some valid points but being grossly misinformed, prejudiced, and hypocritical; definitely not what we would expect of a highly regarded publication as The Guardian, or from a person in Mr Abati's position.

In the very least, the article warrants a well-informed response. I have little doubt in my mind that it will generate a slew of responses, positive and negative, and as one of the many subjects that was mentioned in the write-up, I feel compelled to voice my opinion (with all due respect) on some of the issues that were raised in your piece. What I'm going to attempt to do is to directly address issues that stood out and resonated most with me. The writer asked "What's in a name?" and went on to honor a "...generation which sang music under its real names, not abbreviations or slangs"; this would have been a valid point if he had not himself mentioned Greats like King Sunny Ade (real name: Sunday Adeniyi), I.K. Dairo (Isaiah Kehinde Dairo), and Ebenezer Obey (Real name: Ebenezer Remilekun Aremu Olasupo Fabiyi- Wow!!!). We could also point out other legends like Ras Kimono and Majek Fashek as others who, for creative or other reasons, saw it fit to have stage names that happen to differ from what's on their passports.

Shortening of full names and/or the crafting of stage names is not something new from our generation of artistes that "lack the discipline or the patience to write complete sentences" as you said; rather, it's the creative right of an artiste to go by whatever moniker he sees fit. And if we want to talk about the names of today, we can highlight a few: Eldee - actually L.D. which stands for Lanre Dabiri, similar to Isaiah Kehinde Dairo's transition to I.K. Dairo. Naeto C and Banky W are simply short forms of their full names. In my case, my father's nickname among his friends is actually Banky as well. Furthermore, on the topic of Names and abbreviations let's set a few things straight. Nigerzie is actually spelt Nigezie and is not an abbreviation for Nigeria. It's a TV Show, much like Soundcity or Hip TV, except they choose to incorporate "representing Nigeria" in their name. It's like the "United Colors of Bennetton", or DKNY, both companies that choose to represent their locations or origins in their name. Also, for the record, Gidi doesn't mean Nigeria either. It's a term for Lagos... coined from "Las Gidi". And as far as the popular term "Naija" goes, who remembers Shina Peters singing "♫ Naija lo wa yi o o o, wa jo, afro juju lo gb'ode ♫" I hate to point out that our generation did not come up with that term... the "golden age" that you long for did.

As an editorial head of a National Newspaper, you owe it to your public to at least do proper and accurate research before printing an article. The risk in not doing so, is you might unknowingly mislead your readers, and you might actually come across as being ignorant or out of touch. A quick look at all the reference names of artistes and songs mentioned in the article goes to show that the author was sadly way off base in his accusations and examples. For instance, to make a point on how today’s Nigerian artistes lyrics are meaningless and prurient, he referenced the Rooftop MC's song "La Gi Mo". What he failed to realize or crosscheck, is that the said song is probably one of the most meaningful and important songs that have been released in the last few years on the Nigerian Music Scene.

The Rooftop MC's are actually a Rap Group that leans to the Gospel or at least Socially Conscious side of music, and their songs always have a positive message. That song itself talks about the errors we make by trying to take God's glory for our success... getting caught up in the limelight and asking God to bring you back to reality to know that HE deserves the praise for where you are. The author mentioned other songs like D'banj's "Fall in Love", and doesn't realize how hypocritical he sounds by attempting to ridicule some of our most popular love songs. Felix Liberty sang "Ifeoma, ifeoma, I want to marry you", D'banj sang "Omo U don make me fall in love" and Banky W sang "Till my dying day, I'll love you". Barring a difference in musical styling, are these songs not cut from the same cloth?

Why can't someone in Mr Abati's position be proud of the fact that at Nigerian and African Weddings nowadays, couples are choosing these songs to mark their first dances instead of previous choices like “Endless Love”? Why can't we appreciate that the days of going to Nigerian Parties and clubs and celebrating to foreign music “all night long” are long gone? Despite these facts, you still see International festivals and concerts being held in Nigeria where the foreign acts are paid 30 to 40 times what some of our biggest stars are allowed to charge. I have to disagree with the author's views.

We are not all one and the same, but we ARE artistes. We may sing, rap, dance, mime, perform, play instruments or whatever else; but we are artistes. And Composers. And musicians.
We may not all play the piano or the guitar, but neither does Michael Jackson, arguably the world's greatest artiste/entertainer. That's why he teamed up with producer Quincy Jones to create some of the best music anyone had ever heard.

We have our own producers that have shaped Nigerian sound...people like Cobhams Asuquo, Don Jazzy, I.D. Cabasa, Dr Frabz, Tee-Y mix, Eldee, Terry G etc. That list goes on. These music minds are no less credible than those of Mr Abati's time, like the great Laolu Akins. Far be it from us to claim that we are perfect and flawless in our art... we know that we are still growing and have lots of areas to improve, but the truth of the matter is we have worked very hard to create the industry we have now, and some people choose to criticize and lambaste most of us, instead of helping and teaching us.

That is unfair. Yes, some artistes sag their jeans... however, a glance at the pages of THISDAY style or the recently concluded awards shows will show you very clearly that others wear three-piece suits and traditional attires just as proudly, myself included. This music industry that you have very clearly disapproved of has partnered with and given rise to the fashion industry in Nigeria as well. Just ask Designers like Mai, Babs Familusi (Exclamations Couture), the Okunorens, Muyiwa Osindero and countless others. Everything from the t-shirts and jeans rappers wear, to the shoes and suits are made by young Nigerians, where in previous years people preferred to shop in London.

The youth-driven industries in Entertainment and Fashion have teamed up to thrust Nigeria into the world's positive spotlight, when for many years our dear country was mostly known for corruption, lack of infrastructure, and security issues. Our country has not yet given us steady electricity, adequate education, safety from armed robbers or standard healthcare, yet artistes have risen like the Roses that grow from Concrete... and these very artistes love and represent their country proudly on a global stage.

This music industry has given hope, jobs and income to countless youth of today. We are Rappers, Singers, Producers, Sound Engineers, Managers, Promoters, Marketing Consultants, Record Label Owners and we will not apologize for making the best of our circumstances; and all this in spite of the fact that we have Marketers that exploit but refuse to pay for our Musical pieces, Royalties and Publishing income that hitherto has been non-existent, a Government that is just now very slowly starting to enforce anti-piracy laws, and Event Organizers that would rather pay 50 Cent One Million US Dollars than give D'banj or P-Square 5 Million Naira.

You were right on some counts. We ARE businessmen and women, and we ARE interested in extending name recognition and brand extension. You were also right in that we look up to people like Jay-Z, who took their music and created multimillion-dollar empires. Since when did ambition and desire to succeed against all odds count against a person’s moral character? Shouldn’t we be encouraged to pay more attention to the business side of “Show Business”?

Shouldn’t we want this music industry to provide for our future and the futures of our children? We know we have a moral responsibility when it comes to our Creative works. Some of us pay more attention to it than others, and there is lots of ground to cover up. But how about a little appreciation and help, instead of trying to tear us down and discredit us? Time will tell whose music will last and become evergreen, but it is not in anyone's place to judge; and for the record, can we just accept that fact that hip hop music is an artform that is probably here to stay... I mean for goodness sake the Grammy's has!! Instead of fighting the change, we should learn to embrace it. I thank God for people like the great Adewale Ayuba that have reached across to our generation to collaborate with, bridge the gap, and help us improve.

We want to learn but your generation has to teach. We want to read but the Government must provide libraries. We want to go to school but the lecturers keep going on strike. We want to travel but previous generations messed up so they won’t give out visas. Most of prefer having our own live bands but the income needed to support that is not forthcoming.

You speak of meaninglessness and prurience, identity crisis and moral turpitude. You praise Legends like Fela Anikulakpo-Kuti and you ridicule us. 9ice does not drink or smoke. eLDee is married to one wife. Olu Maintain does not drink. Naeto C is currently obtaining his Masters’ degree in England. The ironic thing is, we look up to and praise your generation too.

You seem to forget that Baba Fela had 27 wives, smoked marijuana in public, was himself half naked at shows (as well as the women around him) and allegedly died of HIV. However we look past what some may consider shortcomings and respect and emulate the immense contributions he made to our history. We are in awe of him despite personal choices that some may or may not agree with. All we are asking for is to be appreciated and afforded similar tolerances.

You danced to Shina Peters. Let us dance to our music. And for the record: for every "Anoti" by MI, he has a "Crowd Mentality" or a "Talk about it". For a Naeto C's "Ki Ni Big Deal", he has a "The Devil is a Liar". Just because an artiste uses a particular song to promote his album for commercial reasons, doesn't mean they should be judged on that alone. Anyone that is familiar with the cost of promoting an album (videos, press, etc) would know that it you end up making hard decisions in terms of what you have to push and promote, for your best chance at success.

I suggest that you buy whole albums and look at the body of work. Listen to the entire CD’s. I think you'll find that more often than not, Nigerian artistes are doing a pretty good job of representing this great Country of Nigeria. Naija Till We Die. Yes Boss.
Sincerely,
~ Banky W.

HIATUS

Life is goddamn stressful, between school, work, dating and trying to have a modicum of a social life, I think I'm finally burnt out. My Bar finals are in 7 weeks and babes has got to bend down low or wahala go dey. 3rd World P is taking a lil' break from blogging at least until after August 13th which is the last day of my exams, I'm probably still gonna keep up with my favourite blogs but as for regular posting that has to take a back seat for a while.

Oh yeah before i forget I have to post this hilarious convo I had with some guy recently. You see when you've been in a relationship for a long time you forget how hazardous it is out there. Don't get me wrong I'm actually loving being single at the mo, but I've encountered some characters that would never have crossed my radar if I had my usual man protection. So on one of my round of dates, casual meets, group do's etc, I met this guy lets call him Crazy Ass Mutha or C.A.M for short and he's a 4 year Britigerian [meaning he's been back to Nigeria for 4 years]. Now I have nothing against Britigerians or Yankeegerians, some of my best friends are, but some of them can be downright piss takers. Its okay if you still wanna talk like you're about to catch a train at Kings Cross or something, even though you moved back years ago but stop pretending to be totally clueless about Nigeria. Whats so annoying is some of these people were probably living in Aba or something before they found their way into jand or yankee but still dem go pose like the 4 or 5 years they spent out of the country was more like 20.

Anyhoo back to 3WP and CAM, we have a couple of mutual friends so we all went to Orchid Bistro for lunch one Sunday and I found myself having an unwanted aside with CAM, the trigger being my tattoo which I'm already used to as a conversation opener.

CAM - [grabbing my wrist] "nice tat babe"
3WP - "thanks"
CAM - "so where's your man at"
3WP - "don't have one"
CAM - "whats a full gash like you doing without a man?"
3WP - [eyebrow shoots into my hairline, this guy should be about 30, and he's talking like someone doing Foundation still] "what?"
CAM - "you're not rago blad, you're a proper gash, so who's doing the brapping"
3WP - [at this point I had to drop my drink, this convo deserved my full attention, I mean what the hell was this nigger saying] "seriously dude, can you talk properly"
CAM - "you dont understand guys babes?"
3WP - "i understand you perfectly I'm just wondering why you choose to sound so retarded"
CAM - "this is how guys have always talked, guys are on a different P from these Nigerian fools and I'm sure babes are feeling guys perfectly, East London brap!"

I swear I nearly lost it at this point, as in tears were coming outta my eyes I was laughing so hard. When I'm with friends that maybe just graduated and just moved back and are still at that age when they can make fools of themselves, its all good, we do the whole guys, babes thing and its cool. But this guy [if i said his name on here, all y'all will prolly know him, he's a proper silver spoon, blue blood, Lagos socialite kid] is the head of a company, granted his dad's own but he had to make deals all day and stuff and command respect plus he's been back in Naij for FOUR YEARS and he spent maybe like 4 years in jand and he constantly speaks that way. It wasn't just that time we hung out but I've heard that crap lingo from him countless times and its just so hilarious. To make matters worse he's decided he was put on earth to complete my life and no amount of dissuading, ignoring calls and bbm's has convinced him otherwise. I hope he reads this and gets the message LEAVE ME ALONE, BABES ISN'T FEELING GUYS!!! lwkm!!!

So anyhoo, my guys and babes of Blogville, its adios till August or maybe till July because I'm thinking of throwing a dinner or something on my birthday [which is July 7th btw] and I may wanna post pics from that. Everybody abeg pray to whatever you believe in o, so I can change my blog name to Barrister Third World Profashional by November, seriously though I'm gonna need everyone's prayers as i finally take on the mighty Council Of Legal Education. By this time in August I'll be a free betch, and I'll never ever go to school again, as in I don tire, babes has been going to school and taking exams all her life [shit! I'm doing it, lol]. Okay people, peace, mwah xxx.

P.S. I think I've met a potential, a definite special someone, its early days yet and I'm supposed to be taking a 1 year break from all things relationship related but it looks promising. Fingers crossed!

Instant Messaging Nig Style

I'm pretty sure by now most of y'all have seen the note making its rounds on facebook about Naija IM's. But for those who haven't, I just had to put it on here. No more lol and rotflmao, now its lwkm and ndu and ltg! Enjoy!

1. LWKM - Laugh wan kill me

2. LWKMD - Laugh wan kill me die

3. MIDG - make i dey go

4. WGYL - we go yarn later

5. IGA - I gbadun am

6. ICS - I can't shout

7. DJM - Don't jealous me

8. WBDM - Who born d maga

9. UDC - U de craze

10. NUS - Na u sabi

11. WSU - who send u

12. OSABZ - over sabi

13. ITK - I too know

14. WDH - wetin dey happen

15. NDH - nutin dey happen

16. FMJ - free me jo

17. BBP - bad bele people

18. HUD - how u dey

19. WKP - waka pass

20. BBG - baby girl

21. KKL - Kokolette

22. MML - mamalette

23 GFF- Gbono fe le fe le (e.g., she GFF)

24. NTT - Na true talk

25. IKU - It koncain u?

26. NDM - no dull me

27. LGT - let's goo there

28. IFSA - I for slap am

29. IGDO - I go die o

30. YB - Yess boss

31. NLT - No long thing

32. 2GB - 2 gbaski (e.g., the song 2GB!)

33. CWJ - carry waka jorh

34. WBYO - wetin be your own

35. U2D - U 2 do

36. U2DV - U 2 dey vex

37. MKG - maka gini?

38. WSDP - who send dem papa

39. INS - i no send

40. INFS - i no fit shout

41. WWY - who wan yarn

42. NBST - no be small thing

43. NWO - na wah oooooo

44. NMA - no mind am

45. MIHW - make i hear word

46. NBL - no be lie

47. NB? - na beans?

48 wd - wetin dey

49. UNGKM - u no go kill me

50. o2s - omo 2 sexy

POETRY FOR CHARITY

Photo by Jide Alakija

Poetry For Charity is a project spearheaded by young Nigerian modern poet Chiedu Ifeozo, he's a published writer with an anthology that can be purchased online from amazon.com, "Thoughts on a page, a collection of poetry" and he has recently delved into the realm of charity work.

PFC is a monumental effort put together by Chiedu, where he brings writers from around the world to contribute to an anthology and the proceeds go to charity. Poetry for Charity Vol 1 was published last year and the most recent collection, Vol 2 is now available. The project is supported by 3 major Nigerian charities:
1)Little Saint's Orphanage
2)Stepping Stones Nigeria
3)Crystal Vision

I'm sure y'all know 3rd World P don't pimp for nothing, check out #25 in the table of contents to read my poem "Sanguinity" and those of you with perfect eyesight or strongly recommended glasses should be able to spot my triple decker name on the photo above.

You can now purchase a paperback version or download an Ebook version of Poetry for Charity Volume 2, from this link.

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/poetry-for-charity/6967952

If you live in Nigeria, Volume one, is available from 17 Gerrard road,Ikoyi.

p.s. i'm sure y'all might be wondering why I didn't provide a link to the site, its because *I don't know how to*!!!! There I said it, I'm nearly illiterate when it comes to these things. I even googled it and tried to read up on how to add a link to a blog post, but it still didn't make sense. Please if you can, give a sister some help, aight?