Guardian Life Article - Fashion A-Z

This is today's Guardian Life article, mostly tongue in cheek...enjoy :)

FASHION A-Z

A is for Accent. From OAPs to “actresses”, your ensemble is not complete without an American/British/Canadian/Australian/Gibberish accent by way of DSTV.

B is for Bend Down Select, a secret fashionista haven

C is for Chanel. Sidekick, lover, friend.

D is for Diffusion Line, from DEAT Lagos to CLAN to J Label….serving all your budget fashion needs.

E is for Excess, the Nigerian watchword. Go large or go borrow/steal/hit up a sponsor.

F is for Fashion Week. Of which there are several of varying credibility.

G is for Guardian Life, enough said......

H is for Hair of varying ethnicities. The farther the continent, the longer the weave, the more official the status.

I Ituen Basi, fashion trendsetter, Ankara re-inventor, your favourite designers favourite designer.

J is for Jeans. Starting with Deola Sagoe, 2013 has seen the rise of celebrity denim lines from Tiffany Amber to Agbani Darego.

K is for Kate Middleton. She hit the husband jackpot and became a prayer point worldwide.

L is for Lookbook, touted by the talented and talentless.

M is for Mini Markets, made popular by Le Petit Marche. It has spawned several imitators.

N is for is for New Media. Facebook, Twitter, Intsagram, Vine, Keek etc are the new fashion girls’ business cards.

O is for OOTD (outfit of the day), much used and abused

P is for Pull, otherwise known as borrow pose.

Q is for queuing. If you have to, you're nowhere. The A-list sashay past in their Louboutins while the hangers-on stand outside in fashion Siberia.

R is for Replica, the secret behind many a Birkin on a Lagos red carpet.

S is for Stylist, without which many a celebrity may have gone awry. Saving red carpet fashion from Veronica Ebie to Bolaji Animashaun.

T is for Travel, not complete without a complete blow by blow on your favourite social media poison of choice.

U is for Up and Comers, fashions new elite are here to take names and pull no punches.

V is for Versatility.   

   

Girl A - “What do you do?”

Girl B- “I’m a singer/youth-corper/photographer/model/stylist/plumber/designer/PR guru/Zenith bank big girl/actress/event planner”

Girl A -“I need someone who can supply me with at least 3000 barrels of crude a month”

Girl B -“Oh I do that too!”

W is for Wedding Saturdays, a day of nationwide tension both feared and anticipated. Aided and abeted by Bella Naija, Aisle Perfect and co.

X  is for Xtra. Outdo your neighbor or die trying.

Y is for yellow paw-paw, artificial or otherwise. The perfect accessory to that borrowed red carpet dress.

Z is for Z-list, a focus group gradually gaining relevance as the A-list slides into extinction.

You can view past editions of Guardian Life online HERE

Photo credit: lovehaironline.com, genevieveng.com, myfashionportal.com, belovedbride.com