Friday, February 11, 2011

The Ick Factor

I know many people will beg to differ, in fact i might even get slapped for it, but you know what....its my blog and I can do whatever I like *in T.I. voice*

I think Sex and the City is the greatest television show ever.

There, I said it.

A lot of people have their own epic tv shows, shows like 24, The Wire, The West Wing etc rank as the ultimate to many people. It is the norm to like such things because they are "serious". God forbid you even voice the fact that you love things that are considered girly or romantic or light-hearted, you immediately get typecast as an airhead. Its generally assumed that if you're interested in things which most people consider frivolous such as fashion or entertainment you must be a little bit dumb.

Recently I was chatting with a friend of mine and he said and I quote "By the way, you seem to have a lot of passion for the more artistic bents e.g. writing, blogging, fashion, entertainment etc. Why didn't you get a masters in something closer to your heart. All this academic stuff you're doing seems to be to fulfil all righteousness". I typed back with gritted teeth that luckily for me I am blessed in the sense that I'm interested in a lot of things and have the capabilities to further such interests. one can't be pigeonholed because you like fashion, then you shouldn't go study medicine or something. This is the 21st century for Chrissakes, one track careers are so 1900's, versatility is the new black. If you can be a lawyer, writer, poet, blogger, celebrity entertainment fanatic, label whore, ace homemaker and professional couch potato (I am all of the preceeding by the way) then by all means do it and don't allow people place a tag on you!

Had to have a bit of a rant, I'm actually still chatting with this person right now.

So the fact that I can name all of Brangelina's children and their nationalities (Maddox-Chivan:Cambodia; Zahara-Marley:Ethiopia; Shiloh-Nouvel:American; Pax-Thien:Vietnamese; Knox-Leon & Vivienne-Marcheline:American) and speculate on the impact Emanuelle Alt will have on fashion after replacing Carine Roitfeld at French Vogue does not detract from the fact that I spend hours deconstructing the sonnets of Pablo Neruda or that Purgatorio is my favourite of Dante's The Divine Comedy. It also does not detract from the fact that I can at the same time write a heck of a legal letter and draft contracts and processes and prepare agreements.........

Anyway you get my drift, don't think someone is stunted neurologically just because they'd rather watch a fun, happy show like Sex and the City than 24 where like 37 people can die in one hour, its just gruesome. That brings me back after all the roundabouts and detours I was taking to my initial point...Sex and the City is the greatest tv show ever! It is definitely one of the most quoted shows in history, even more than I Love Lucy. It has influenced the widest demographic ever. What does 24 do for you? Just shows you that everybody hates America, even Americans themselves and if the CTU just leaves Jack Bauer to do as he pleases the damn show will have ended in 30 minutes and Aisha Tyler wouldn't have had to be a double agent and die (I think she was in Season 2, her death was traumatic).

Back to my topic "The Ick Factor", I had a Sex and the City marathon recently, I've watched every single season but I like to go back and I got to S06 E14 and it was named "The Ick Factor". Now this was where Carrie was already dating Alexandr Petrovsky and he was doing all this unbelievably romantic things for her, like writing songs for her, reading her poetry, taking her to the opera, giving her little, thoughtful, awesome gifts, making her breakfast etc.

*sidebar; that episode contained one of the most epic, extravagant, thoughtful gifts ever! Guys buy girls cars, houses etc but this was such a beautiful moment. Petrovsky was reading Carrie poetry and she starting reading a press release in Vogue about an Oscar De La Renta dress and she said that was her kinda poetry and the next day he wants to take her to the opera and she's like "I have nothing to wear" and he's like "why don't you wear this" and hands her a gift box from Oscar De La Renta with the dress in was awesome. The dress probably didn't cost that much to him, was most likely bupkes to Petrovsky but he knew the gesture would mean so much to Carrie, more than diamonds or anything so he did it*

So anyway, every time he did something romantic Carrie would cringe, like it was all so cliche'd. She'd tell the girls and they'll all go ICK!, well except Charlotte of course. They were so disgusted by the fact that a modern man could be so romantic, only putzes did such silly things. That episode got me thinking, why do people take signs of thoughtfulness and doing things to make your partner happy to mean that you're weak or doing too much or being taken for a ride or just a fool?

Obviously valentines Day is almost here and instead of some people to regard it as a day where you should do your best to make the one you're with happy they take it as a personal challenge to be as disagreeable as possible just so they do not look weak. I know all the lines "I dont need a day to make my girl feel special" bla bla bla. The fact is a lot of girls...and guys take 'silly' things like Valentines Day seriously and their partner dismissing it as a load of rubbish may seem like a personal affront to them. Even if its not Valentines Day, any regular day, instead of the norm of seeing each other or whatever, doing little, thoughtful things can really mean a lot to someone.

Case in point; I have a friend who met her current boyfriend in the most unbelievably romantic way ever, he saw her somewhere and asked around till he got her name. In this era of google and co, simple thing would be to google the babe, from facebook, twitter, can get her details. He could have got friends to give him her number because they had mutual friends but no, this Adonis of a man sat down and wrote her a letter. Not an email mind you, or bbm or text, he used pen and paper, wrote a letter to her and sent it by overnight express asking her to dinner that Friday, with his number in the letter. My friend got this letter and is of course shocked so she called the number and she and my dude made a date for that Friday. Come Friday, they meet up, have dinner, have a wonderful time and its now time for everybody to go home. She says she's headed home, that whereabouts is he headed, he says he's headed to the airport, she's like are you travelling tonight and he's like no, I'm going back home. Turns out the guy didn't live in Nigeria, he flew in that morning to take her to dinner and from dinner went straight to the airport and back to where he came from. I know my friends are tired of this story but I never get tired of telling it. It wasn't a friend of a friend of a friend, it happened before my very korokoro eyes, i read the letter. Honestly, it was the most romantic thing I ever heard a guy did.

So please guys and girls throw caution to the wind this season, do your best to make a fool of yourself and make the one who makes you happy, happy in return, chivalry isn't dead, its just lying drunk in a corner somewhere from too much tequila sunrises. Surprise your special person, you don't have to fly across continents, everybody knows what to do to make another person happy, they just don't do it because they're afraid of losing face or being thought of as schmucks.

Happy Valentines Day everybody, love and light xxx


  1. I LIVE for Sex and the City!!! Fave show of all time!!!!! Beautiful writeup as always!

    p.s That your friends story is so SWOOOOOON worthy!!!!

  2. That story....with the letter writing and the flying from Nigeria FLOORED me! Wowzers.... Romance is still alive, they just be concealing it *kanye voice*

    Love the post. Was getting a bit maudlin and cynical re V'day what with all the anti-love joojoo in the air.This was a well needed exorcism.

    Sex And The City rocks. The West Wing is actually my favourite show of all time (I worship Aaron Sorkin..) but SATC is defo running in the top 3.

  3. I soooo agree!!! The friend story is absolutely swoon worthy... Nice one Daks.

  4. Adakuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
    LOVE YU wud yu be my Falentine ?lol

  5. Awww, this is a beautiful post! Both the first part and the second.

    ps, All the best in your studies. I forgot to say in my last comment.

  6. @LohiO, you know this! SATC rules! I know right, I never get tired of telling her story.

    @Mia, just read your post. Loved it! and yes romance is alive and well, we just need to find those guys that have the balls to show it.

    @Pouchi, thanks babe xxx

    @Mrs. Okafor. Lof you toooo. Of course mami, na me and Mr. Okafor dey share you.

    @Myne, thank you so much. As usual praise coming from you is always appreciated xxx

  7. You said it well about pursuing multiple interest. The internet has made it all possible, so I don't know why your friend is acting all surprised like you some new type of sliced bread or something.

    I'm not into sex and the city. I tried to like the show, but it didn't happen for me. It's my sister's favorite show. I can't even count how many times she's watched and rewatched the movies and tv episodes.

    Happy valentine's day to you too.

  8. Sex and the City sucks arse, as for romance hiss boo. I agree with your guy friend he sounds smart women should only concentrate on one thing their men all else will only increase their bride price and who needs that! i think women should do more for men for val's day too. love you, I mean your blo not you personally because obviously I have no idea who you are.

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  10. Well the story. You're right when you say it doesn't have to be a grand, expensive gesture. The simple things count too.

    I have been catching the reruns of SATC on E! lately and I can honestly say I have a new appreciation for the show compared to when it was on the air.

    Happy Valentine's day.

  11. My mouth dropped when I heard the man flew over just to take her to dinner *Now picking jaw back up* I hope my boo leaves me this gob smacked on monday lol

    I absolutely loved your response to the Q " Why didn't you get a masters in something closer to your heart" It was so SPOT ON.

    have a nice weekend.

  12. Yes and Yes! Two extremely valid points.
    I don't understand questioning the authenticity of people's academics because of other informal interests.

    And OMG...your friend is so lucky! Jealous. Guys need to quit the 'macho' thing. It's so 2000 and late! loool


  13. Thanks ! You made two valid points ... I am not into Satc but why is someone to be judged by it's interest ! And that story of your friend just made me think that romance is alive and running

  14. You won me over with this post! And YES SATC is all sorts of amazing! My long term goal is to own a clothing line and to be a magazine editor a la' Anna Wintour. At the same time I am described as inhumanly selfless- I have been told I will lose this side of me if I pursue such 'fickle' dreams.
    I graduated top of my class and I'm doing a postgraduate degree in something totally different because I am interested in it. I have a flair for writing and though I am not a religious blogger like you I will get round to it .... etc!

    Point is I refuse to allow myself be pigeon holed because of my interests and neither should you.

    And your friend is one lucky girl!

  15. I was gushing over your friend's romantic story and i told someone (a guy) and i soon i was done talking, he shouted "washing!". lol. He doesn't believe it one bit.

  16. @Prism, really? Watch a few more episodes, i swear its fabulous!

    @Anon, my darling you won't kill me sha. Love you too.

    @Taynement, you are a wise person. Keep watching, my girls will never disappoint you.

    @MsFlyHigh, its an awesome story my dear. Drop some very coded hints o, guys cam be clueless you need to nudge him in the right direction.

    @Bob-Ij, if only they knew that being truly macho means not being afraid to show your feelings.

    @SoBlu, its alive o and we're claiming it in Jesus name.

    @Anon 7.07, I'm gonna jump on a total cliche but its the only thing that makes sense. Do whatever makes you happy! If you feel like studying astrophysics now and becoming the new Anna Wintour later, its nobodys business as long as you're happy. "Advice" from well meaning people is more often than not tailored towards things they'll like to fix in their own lives because they don't know enough about yours to offer direction. Do as you please and regrette rien!

    @MadameSting, the story is 100% true! I'll give you a clue as to who she is, go back to an old post of mine "My Favourite People", she's on that list. I saw the letter, watched the relationship unfold, it was and still is beautiful.

  17. wow, that story is ah-may-zing!!

    i'm def on that tip of little things as Val presents. You necessarily do not need to go over the top to show someone love.

    ff @yinkuslolo

  18. I like your answer to that question. No one should be "boxed" because of their interest. I do get that a lot--people assume because I wear heels, love fashion, blog, I must be a "dumb blonde" or I can't be a nurse, science geek :) , or get an MBA. Like you said, "versatility is the new black".

    LMAO at naming all Angelina's kids' information. You are not alone on that babe. I am the TMZ on my house! LOL


  19. SATC rocks on various levels!
    About your friend,WOW romance is still alive! that's soo sweet!

    Lovely read as always!

  20. Jesus merem ebere! He flew into town and wrote her a letter? See why I tell all these rubbish men to clear road! Choi that is too cool

  21. wot dat guy did is d most romantic thing i've ever hrd. totally wowed! i have 2 agree wit u adaku. we have the capabilities to do as much as we want to do.

  22. "Everybody knows what to do to make another person happy, they just don't do it because they're afraid of losing face or being thought of as schmucks".

    This is so true oh. But admit it, lots of girls have the SATC girl's behavior. Which is sad. I mean, i'm looking for my 'Alexandr Petrovsky' and some girls are throwing theirs away *sob sob*

    I agree about having many interests too. Imagine sticking to just one thing, how boring would that be? Besides, man is meant to multitask and be multifaceted for goodness sake.

    Lovely blog! I just love the way you write- like you're having a real conversation and just being you.


  23. i demand another post. troll troll troll.

  24. I'm totally feeling you on this...multi-faceted is the way forward and sometimes we all need a break from our 'day jobs' to indulge in our less bleak past times!As for the disregarding of Valentine's day , I have this to say about it: its only single people who carry on about valentine's day not being a special day and it's only a man who doesn't really love you who will disregard the high esteem you have for it and not make an effort.There, I said it!:p


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