I want to kill myself but I don’t know how
The end holds no fear for me; it’s the process that I’m a tad apprehensive towards
Shall it be by the blade, the bullet or deadly poison?
Limitless choices are spread out before me
I could run in front of a vehicle
Fling myself into murderous waters
Ensure I’m in the path of some deadly animal
O, the joy of ending my life on my own terms
I hold the knife, running a finger over its sharpness
Maybe this isn’t the one for me
I grip the pistol, stroking the nozzle like a lover
No, I don’t think this is it either
I hold the sachet of fatal powder
Hmmn, maybe a more physical death will do it for me
I leap up, race outside and prepare to fling myself before the appropriate vehicle
But I can’t seem to decide which one would have the honour of conveying me to the afterlife
I dash to the banks of a deadly current, tensing my muscles in anticipation of plunging into its icy depths
But I’m not entirely sure I want to get wet
There is no other recourse but to be mauled by a vicious beast
But isn’t it just my luck, none seem to be out today.
I guess I won’t kill myself after all
I never knew how arduous it was
All these means to mortality
I think I’ll wait till the Lord takes me
I’d love to observe His technique
Maybe I could learn a thing or two.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
AN ASIDE
First of all, TEMITE! TEMITE! TEMITE! How many times did I call you? How dare you close your blog and not invite me. No vex me o, better make amends sharp, sharp.
And who on earth is RocNaija and how long was I away for that he got so huge so fast? I'm intrigued...
And who on earth is RocNaija and how long was I away for that he got so huge so fast? I'm intrigued...
Saturday, April 11, 2009
DUBAI-BAI
It was a banging week! That's all I can say, absolutely banging! I took so many photos, I dont even know which to put up here, they'll probably all end up on fb or something. I planned everyday to go blog, but I was always so busy, the shopping is amaaayyyzing!!! Its like the US and jand put together, like they've got all the high street shops: New look, Topshop and River Island dem and awon Forever 21, H&M, Zara, Nine West, Aldo...The guys, not so great, all they have is bucket loads of Arab money, but not much in the looks department. Oh, except the guys that live in Jumeira, HOTT!!! Thats like the bougie area, where the ruler of Dubai lives and everything, the guys there are on a kentro.
And the cars!! Triple damn! First of all they're nearly all white, my friend Amaka was like even cars she didnt know came in white she saw them this week. Then every night at the Mall of the Emirates is like a goddamn car show, too messy! It has to be seen to be believed. And this hotel, The Atlantis, messiest hotel I've ever seen, has underwater rooms!
All in all, I'm impressed, its a great vacation spot, fabulous shopping, cool people, lots to do and ogle at, fantastic eating[TGI Fridays, Applebees, Chilli's, Krispy Kreme, Haagen Dazs cafe, Baskin Robbibs, Wagamama e.t.c.], seriously there isn't much need to go to yankee or jand anymore, everything there is in Dubai. Plenty time to recharge my batteries and face my court attachments head on. Thanks to everyone who missed me and wondered aloud where I had got to and commented on my last post, bisous xxx.
TALLEST FREAKIN BUILDING IN THE WORLD [peep how its higher than the clouds]
AT CHI @ THE LODGE [2face performed here on April 4th]
MAGNIFIQUE CHIENNE, lol
SAHARA BABY!!
BEDOUIN CAMPSITE. les poussins et henne
HOMIEZZZZ
THE ATLANTIS
SICKEST CAR I'VE EVER SEEN!!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
THE BEGINNING (AGAIN)
You know that episode in Gossip Girls where Dan had to write a story for the author he was interning with and the only thing he could write about was he and Serena's relationship? His dad asked him why he couldn't write anything else and he said because that was his story and that was all that came to mind when he put his pen to paper. Thats kinda like whats been going on with me, I actually haven't looked at my blog since the last post I put up but whenever I thought about blogging all i could think about were my personal problems.
You cling to the vestiges of a past life even when you know its dead and you drag its empty carcass around with you and then suddenly something happens to finally drive it home that its over and done with, can never be resurrected and you must move on with your life as fabulously as you can. For me that day was today and since I'm finally free of my demon I can write its obituary without feeling like I'm writing in my own blood.
Love doesn't conquer all. Tolerance, trust, faith, understanding, truthfulness and the ability to close your eyes are what make for a long and happy relationship and if you dont have that and you're madly in love and lust, you'll have fun yeah, and you can actually have fun for a long time, say 2 years but then after a while you admit to yourself that fun isn't enough.
So here's to April 4th 2009, 4.50pm for freeing me and allowing me to write again, to feel again, to laugh again and to love again, sometime, hopefully. And I'm getting on in a gbogbos bigz girlz steez, off to Dubai tomorrow for some retail therapy and Middle Eastern totty. Ediri, Erenma, lets go there!!!!
You cling to the vestiges of a past life even when you know its dead and you drag its empty carcass around with you and then suddenly something happens to finally drive it home that its over and done with, can never be resurrected and you must move on with your life as fabulously as you can. For me that day was today and since I'm finally free of my demon I can write its obituary without feeling like I'm writing in my own blood.
Love doesn't conquer all. Tolerance, trust, faith, understanding, truthfulness and the ability to close your eyes are what make for a long and happy relationship and if you dont have that and you're madly in love and lust, you'll have fun yeah, and you can actually have fun for a long time, say 2 years but then after a while you admit to yourself that fun isn't enough.
So here's to April 4th 2009, 4.50pm for freeing me and allowing me to write again, to feel again, to laugh again and to love again, sometime, hopefully. And I'm getting on in a gbogbos bigz girlz steez, off to Dubai tomorrow for some retail therapy and Middle Eastern totty. Ediri, Erenma, lets go there!!!!
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