Wednesday, June 29, 2011

End Of The Weekend

Seeing as I hardly ever pout and i refuse to carry last, here it is, me pouting for Imo State...mwah!


Today I received one of my birthday presents to myself.....drumroll please..............


And not just any old "4", the deluxe version with 2 cd's and 6 extra songs. I hardly buy music, I know this is terrible because I listen to music a lot but I always think why buy something that you can get for free, no? But with the artistes that are near and dear to my heart I like to ensure that their money gets to them, so even though I'd downloaded the entire album weeks ago and know all my favourite songs by heart, I still pre-ordered it from Amazon, for my darling Beyonce, its Number 1 or bust. The only other album I've bought this year is Chris Brown's "Fame", which is another absolute cracker, great records after the other.

The best song on "4' is "Party", that song is an absolute jam, seeing as Kanye Wes co-wrote it I'm not surprised, "Best i Never Had" is pretty great too, and "Start Over".

Happy birthday in advance to me!

I've been on a bit of a blogging spree, which is very unlike me. In the old days i used to go weeks without updating, months even, but now I update at least twice a week. I attribute this to the fact that I have oodles of free time now, when I first started blogging I was in Law School and had classes five days a week plus the horrors of the Bar exam to look forward to, plus dealing with crap Bwari internet. After that I was working in a Law Firm and battling with traffic, going to court, nutty clients and crap Lagos internet. Fast forward to 2011 and I have classes twice a week, no siblings to look after, no more traffic, 24/7 electricity and phenomenal internet....what else can I do but blog?

Had brunch on Sunday with my harem at a spot called Caravan, which turned out to be a very trendy and popular place for brunch, so trendy that we couldn't get a table for over an hour. The wait was well worth it though because the food was pretty awesome.

You know wherever there's food there you shall find TWP, steadily eating my way across the United Kingdom.

Tried to do a typical "blogger" pose and failed misereably, think I'll just stick to my signature hands on hips with a smile stance. Why fix it when it aint broke?

Bugo Trying to hide the twins with that scarf, I see you.......

Remz Who just confessed that she would not be around on my birthday, I know I told you its alright but I'm PISSED dammnit!

My love Mrs. O and her sister Kiana

Mrs. O's "converted" Louis Vuitton clutch. I say converted because it actually used to be her father's man-bag which she appropriated and removed the strap, turning it into a clutch. when I first saw it I was like Ediri has done it again, trust her to have an LV Monogram Canvas clutch I'd never seen (Diri stays fabulous for real), then she revealed that its actually a man-bag. I was tres impressed, the picture doesn't even do it justice, it totally stands out.


All in all I had a fun weekend, renewed all my long distance friendships, saw people I hadn't seen since secondary school, ate good food (of course)........good times.

I really think I should go on some sort of hiatus....or then again maybe not, I have a couple of guest blogs from my resident Man Blogger/Daks Basher that I'll be posting in a few days, so it will be less pictures and more words (did I hear sighs of relief?).

Till then...

Love and light xxx

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Post 2001-Wedding/Reunion

Erenma, Hilda, Funke, Dunsi, Nwabugo, Shalewa. QCY Class of 2001 lineup, well except the impostor beside me, Remz didn't go to QC

I'm a Cancer so constant nostalgia is in my blood, I can't help it, I'm firmly rooted in the past. I'm pretty sure I hated secondary school but now when I think of it, its with rose-coloured memories; entertainment nights, bathing at slabs, faking illnesses so I could get exeats, bailing out of school, buying turkey at back gate, tonging my hair for inter-house sports and wondering if any boys would speak to me, crossing over for prep or meals, buying indomie from staff quarters and eating it on the field in the dead of night (that was madness), interact club functions........

I only remember the good stuff and force myself to forget things like serving punishments, fetching water for seniors and they always had those heavy as hell iron buckets that would mark your palms for days, being homesick, eating crappy food, portion work and the absolute worst, washing toilets....

*sidebar* If you're sensitive I suggest you clock out now because I really need to ask my QC girls a question, how on earth did poo get on the walls of the toilets? Did people do number 2 then use their hands to smear it on the walls? I always wondered. QC toilets were so traumatic for me that till date I keep my bathroom so clean you could eat off the floor, guys who used to thirst after QC girls would have been flabbergasted if they could have seen the state of our bathrooms. Seriously nasty.

Anyhoo filthiness aside and in spite of its horrors QC was a pretty fun place to spend 5 years.

On Saturday we assembled for Ayomide Adeleke, now Popoola's wedding, as a confirmed wedding hater, I only make exceptions for close friends and family, I don't do all that attache wedding nonsense. It was FUN FUN FUN, even though it took us almost 3 hours to get to the venue, most of the lines on the Underground were down last weekend so everybody in London decided to rev up their engines and take to the streets, causing massive traffic jams everywhere, the heatwave didn't even help matters. If not for Milk of Magnesium and MakeUp Forever foundation all my make-up would have melted off by the time I got there.

I think this was when she was about to toss the bouquet, I refused to even show face for it, At my friend Ediri's wedding, July 10th 2010, I caught the bouquet, today June 28th 2011, almost a year later and still a Miss, I refuse to even be in the same vicinity as a bridal bouquet, that ish is cursed.

If you look behind me you'll spot my friend Nwabugo and her impressive rack, she used boobage to oppress me all day, I was so jealous I kept tossing small items into her cleavage to see if they'd stick, nothing ever came back out. Bugo's cleavage is like the Bermuda triangle, I'm convinced my camera is in there.


Hilda Who generously housed I and Bugo for the duration of our visit.



Funke, Toyin and Shally

Yes, those thick thighs are what lurk beneath my size 10 dresses, who'da thunk it? I have the most disgraceful ashewo body (as my mum calls it). My standard size is a US6 and a UK10 but I've been known to fit into an 8 and a 12 and on one memorable occassion, a 6(UK sizes). This comes from the fact that I have really special statistics, I'm tall, dark-skinned, "choncherry", born in July......


I couldn't help it, that MBGN video gives me life for real.

Ok, my statistics are 34-26-42, you see how warped that is. Most clothes with 26 inch waists usually come with 35 or 36 inch hip sizes, so my overall dress size tends to vary or I have to buy a much bigger size, such as a 14 to accommodate my hips, then amend the waist so my top half doesn't swim in it. Adding the fact that I'm seriously tall does not help matters at all.

When I grow up, its going to be haute-couture all the way, Alber Elbaz is going to be stitching clothes personally for me, Amen.

The dress I'm wearing above is one of my Zara finds (have I mentioned how much I love Zara? Maybe 1 or 2 times) and it incorporates a massive trend for 2011, thigh high slits. The sexiness of a maxi dress where you can also show some leg, #winning on all counts. I'm constantly trawling the internet searching for dresses with slits, I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. My favourite interpretations so far have been by Michael Kors.

I love the pink one, the black one looks a bit American Apparel/DIYish so if I had to choose, I'd go with the pink. Michael Kors isn't wildly expensive so hopefully I might be able to take this baby home sometime this year.

We were going to go out later that night but due to old age decided that we'd rather go to bed instead. I'm so shocked at myself, in my partying heydey, I was known for going out the night before an exam, getting back home only to shower and head out to the exam hall. I've really changed o, I've swapped miniskirts for sweatpants and crop tops for oversized t-shirts, loud music for Seinfeld and tequila shots for Strawberry Cheesecake ice-cream.


Had brunch with my girls the next day, pictures going up tomorrow.

Love and light xx

Monday, June 27, 2011

Sales, Monochrome and Regiments

Whenever I find a store I have deep love for, I make friends with the salespeople, register for email updates....anything to get extra service. A few weeks ago the darlings at Zara in Union Square informed me that Zara was going on sale on the 23rd of June from 9am, the inside info though was that the entire sale collection would be up online at 5am on the same day, since I wasn't up to wrestling with the crazy people I knew would be lining up outside at 9am, I decided to shop from my bed instead.

There were only two things I wanted from that sale;


And this

On the 22nd, I set my alarm, slept with my laptop beside me, prayed that I would wake up early the next morning but as usual Sod's Law was at work and I woke up at 6am, I was still hoping that what I wanted would still be there, no such luck....the blazer was gone baby gone, managed to get the skirt though but that blazer wanna pain me die.

In the first place the original price was 119 pounds and I'll cut my left breast before I pay over a 100 pounds for an item of clothing I probably won't wear more than twice a year. Clothes are something I don't like to spend too much money on, I literally have clothes I've worn only once and I know I'll never wear again, why spend hundreds of pounds on something as flimsy as an outfit? The only things I can bust the bank for are handbags, shoes and sunglasses, when it comes to the preceding, brand names and cost are no deterrent to my spending ability. Clothes however are dynamic and in 6 months the trend will change again, no need wasting money on something that is so unstable.

Back to my topic, in the sale the blazer had been reduced to 69.99, not ideal but infinitely more reasonable. Unfortunately an eagle eyed fashionista who pays more attention to her alarm clock than I do managed to wake up before me and steal my blazer.

Managed to assuage the pain of my loss by going to London the next day for a weekend with my nearest and dearest.

I know I've definitely stopped growing but its like my head didn't get the memo, the thing dey fear me.

I kicked off my weekend by losing my camera, yes my darlings my faithful Canon camera was appropriated. Its so annoying because its the kind of loss that you can't pinpoint the exact time and place it went missing, one minute I had it, the next....poof. I mean, Daks is to her camera the way boli is to groundnut, you can't see one without seeing the other, the whole weekend I literally felt like I'd lost a limb.

Strangely I didn't cry even though that is a normal progression for me, I cry therefore I am.

I put the word out anyway so a camera could be added to my birthday wishlist, a list that has had scorn poured on it from all ends. My friends have insulted me and called me all sorts of names, Himself googled the price of a Chanel 2.55 and took out 15 minutes out of His busy schedule to laugh at me and the cruellest dagger of all, my darling daddy. I sent him the link to the list and added that of course I know he won't have time to do the necessary needful but I could save him all that stress if he just enhanced my account with the money and I would just buy the item(s) myself. Our convo went like this:

Mr. U: "Is this a landmark birthday!!"

TWP: *quaking even though the man is on another continent* "No daddy but every birthday is important don't you think".

Mr. U: "Do you know the last time I celebrated my own birthday, do you think I even remember my own birthday". (Its not even a joke, dude never remembers his birthday)

TWP: "Yes daddy I know, but its for me, biko nu" (I threw in the Igbo because he loves it when I revert to Ada mazi mode)

Mr. U: "Why do you want this bag, are your other ones stolen?"

TWP: "No daddy, but its an iconic bag"

Mr. U: "Iconic!!!" (I think at this juncture his blood pressure started to go up)


TWP: "Daddy, daddy...."

Na so my papa take drop phone for my is well.

Anyhoo, the minute I landed Obodo nke Eliza, I was off to be reunited with Himself, it was very movie-like wallahi, we arranged to meet up at Victoria Station, "No-one" by Alicia Keys was playing over the speakers and we were both running towards each other from opposite ends......well I ran, He just stood there feeling like a boss with Himself, I have no shame sha so I didn't mind.

Later that evening, I and Himself attended the Honourable Artillery Company Flank Companies Ball, the Honourable Artillery Company is the oldest surviving regiment in the British Army so trust them to throw a hell of a shindig. There were loads of activities, fireworks, parachuting, a mini fair, standard lems.....the works. Managed to get pictures of the Navy Helicopter, the grounds and the fireworks display. Couldn't get a good picture of the mentallers parachuting though, they jumped at night and even though they had LED lights on their uniforms they didn't show up clearly in my photos.

Jessica, the girlfriend of the bestfriend of Himself. It was only after I took this picture that I realised how Kate Middleton-like it looked.

Thought I'd give them all black thinking it would be a rather solemn affair, I was so wrong. Legs were on display, cleavage was spilling out, tans were on orange alert, babes came out with red eye to land themselves Royal Army husbands.

One of my newest and favourite accesories, this 1920's looking, vintage inspired purse, beads, fringe, tassels, metal clasp, chain strap...miaow.


*sidebar* Notice I said "vintage-inspired" not "vintage' which according to Wikipedia usually refers to clothing that imitates the style of a previous era. If it is new, people please, it is not vintage. Clothing which was produced before the 1920's is referred to as antique clothing and clothing from the 1920's to 1980's is considered vintage. Clothing produced more recently is usually called modern or contemporary fashion.

Opinions on these definitions vary, but these are the most generally accepted ones, if something looks quirky or non-conformist but you bought it at H&M yesterday....not vintage. Even if you bought it at a charity shop, that's just bend down shopping, buying second-hand items.....not vintage. Some of these stores carry authentic vintage items but they're very rare.

Please get it right.

All in all it was a super fun night, pictures from the wedding going up tomorrow.

Love and light xx

p.s. TWP was nominated for a Nigerian Blog Award for best Fashion or Style Blog, thank you to all the gorgeous people that nominated me, you can vote for me to win HERE, fill in your name and email address, a confirmation email will be sent to you and you can follow the instructions from there.

Sisi Yemmie is seriously pulling a Beyonce, I think she has the most nominations, please vote for her, and vote for Stellas Addiction for Best Beauty Blog too.


p.s. again. Turns out I forgot to credit Wikipedia, thank you Anon for pointing that out, not about to get shopped for plagiarism.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Experience Le Petit Marche At The Silverbird Galleria This Sunday!

The Le Petit Marché Team will like to send a resounding “THANK YOU!” to all their fabulous customers and vendors for last month. The LPM May Marche was absolutely amazing! Everyone had a wonderful time and people were able to get their shopping done while hanging out with friends amidst music, drinks, and a whole lot of fun! Expect pictures from the event, as well as other goodies soon!

Now, to this month.

This June, your premier fashion & lifestyle market will be held at the Silverbird Galleria! In preparation for the ‘revolution’ that LPM will be bringing your way in the coming months,the LPM team has decided to join forces with Nigeria’s foremost entertainment collective to transform and enhance your summer shopping experience. The Silverbird Galleria is home to the widest range of entertainment in the country, offering you a combo of movies, restaurants, gaming for the kids, and LPM!

So, come Sunday 26th of June 2011, the atrium of the Galleria will be the epicenter for the June dose of everyone’s favorite vice!

For enquiries, or to book a stand, kindly send an email to We look forward to hearing from you!

Cam Cam Sweeties, JJ Arts & Craft, PoloCity, Fifemayo, NS1463, La’Tush, Virtue by FocusWear, Na’Tees, Beadazzle Accessories, Retrospective, Biddy’s Mondo, Aurora Collection, Llanis, Phoenix Online Clothing, Republic of Foreigner, Y. Craig, DivaNista, Prima Rouge, H.O.M.E. Designs, Oyanj Lingerie, Eznira Couture, Kuddy Cosmetics, Marayaho and Rouge Vallari.

Also, tickets for Music Meets Runway (hosted by Amber Rose) will be sold at LPM this Sunday.

LPM June 2011
Date: Sunday 26th June 2011
Venue: Silverbird Galleria, Ahmadu Bello, Victoria Island, Lagos
Time: 12Noon

Check out the LPM Documentary from the December 2010 Grand Marche below.

LPM Contact
BB Pin: 305AC3B5

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Highlands

When I was getting dressed that afternoon I had every intention of clashing prints, I was going to do an animal print top with the tribal print pants. When I tried it, my mirror nearly reached out and slapped me, the effect was jarring, I hanlele'd out of that top sharply and put on the plain black shirt instead, my only concession to print clashing was my animal print bag. Its not every trend that should be imitated.

I've lived in Scotland for a little over 6 months but the farthest I've been is Dyce where the airport is. I sort of resigned myself to the fact that Aberdeen is dead so if I wanna hang out properly or have fun I'd have to leave town. Seeing as I'm on holiday for the next 4 months I've resolved to explore Scotland properly, or at least do more stuff here.

This gargantuan level of joblessness led me to google "things to do in Aberdeen", that's how I found the Highland Games on Sunday.

According to Wikipedia the Highland games are events held throughout the year in Scotland and other countries as a way of celebrating Scottish and Celtic culture and heritage, especially that of the Scottish Highlands. Its really interesting, its centred on competitions in piping and drumming, dancing, and Scottish heavy athletics and also includes entertainment and exhibits related to other aspects of Scottish and Gaelic culture.

I barely even watched any of the competitions, I was more interested in the fair aspect, the rides, performances, candy floss....

I managed to rope in my friends Danielle, Craig and Dimi

Candy floss has seriously stepped up, when I used to get it as a child, it used to come out of some machine and they'd put a stick in the middle and the floss will wind itself round the stick, now it comes in buckets. Hella disappointing, I felt like it took away from a proper fair experience.

We didn't hang around for long though, we were there for tops, 2 hours. One thing that was really weird were the 'looks' we were getting. I thought I was the only person noticing them at first, but my friend Dimi was like she was getting the "nigger" vibes too. There were probably over a thousand people there that day and its safe to say there were only about 15 black people on that field, maybe even less. Every single black person we saw however was with a white person, maybe a husband or a wife, we were the only black people that were rolling strictly African, with no Caucasians to cushion the impact of our "blackness". Living in Aberdeen you get used to the overpowering vanilla presence, we're outnumbered at least 8 to 1 but I've never had a single racial experience in all the time I've been here, not even a side-eye (at least to my knowledge). That day though it was like they thought we were coming to invade, the stares were alarmingly blatant, like full on double takes, it was so weird. I mean these are the same people ewe go to school with and live with and do business with but I don't know if its because we were at such a white event and they were surprised that black people could be interested in a Scottish festival or that I just managed to catch the underlying racism that had been simmering below the surface all along.

All in all I was totally weirded out and kinda happy when we left before a fight broke out somewhere or something and the security people start searching for the black people.

From there we went to the mall to see Bad Teacher with Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake and Jason Lewis, Danielle and Dimi didn't like it but I thought it was ok. It had a sort of quirky humour to it, it won't win any awards but its a fun movie and Cameron Diaz's wardrobe is savage throughout, her body is the business. Plus I really love JT as an actor, I wish he'd do more music but he's a pretty badass actor, I mean as Sean Parker in The Social Network he gave a totally bitching line "A million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool? *in Eduardo Saverin voice* "a billion"....

Damn, Aaron Sorkin can write a hell of a script.

Yesterday my friend Joke came into town from Wales, according to her compared to her town Treforest in Wales, Abz is like London. I totally found a new appreciation for my city while I took her round, its weird how things you see everyday take on a new importance when you're viewing it through a strangers eyes. Obviously Abz decided to gawk itself and embarrass me thoroughly by raining the entire day, I mean, non-stop rain from morning till night-time, I couldn't believe it. We managed to get all our shopping done though, or rather she managed to get all her shopping done, my debit card is on hiatus, the damage I've done recently deserves some kind of shopping rehab.

Stopped off at TGI Fridays to have dinner where we met up with another friend who was in town from Nigeria. That's why I love people visiting from Nigeria, none of this splitting the bill nonsense, Guys who come from back home will handle that bill and even ask you if you want some to go. Unlike these ones we have here that have learned oyibo bad habits and have the liver to be dividing bills. Thank God our paths don't cross.

Trust I handled my lems like a pro.

Leaving for Landan this weekend to hang with my nearest and dearest, Himself is in town, my loves Ediri, Nwabugo, Erenma, Adanna, Hilda, Shally..........messy is too tame a word to describe the weekend I'm about to have. Epic should be more like it.

On that note I leave you with this incredible video I saw last night of the MBGN screening process. When I saw the video the contestants made when they were telling people to vote for them, I was shocked at the girls, like is this the best 36 they could get out of all the contestants they auditioned? My people by the time I saw this video below, I started hailing the contestants that were picked, ndi asanwa. These girls in this video should be placed in a museum and observed, I cannot believe girls like this exist in Nigeria.

The last one is just the highest, her phoneh is the most amazing thing I've ever heard, her phoneh deserves its own seat on a plane, hell it deserves its own passport. Absolutely terrifying.

Love and light xxx

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