Found this article making its rounds on the Internet, love it so much I had to re-post. I've always felt like the concept of a 'soulmate' sets people up for so much disappointment and regret.
Glad to see I'm not alone.
My Husband Is Not My Soulmate - Mary Graham
Mostly grading students’ essays is a boring, excruciating job. It makes me rethink my college career path, my desire to be a teacher, and life in general. Essays written by twelve year olds are life sucking.
But then there are moments, just a line or two, that flip switches. Maybe not in the students’ heads–they still don’t seem to remember to indent a new paragraph or to not use abbreviations in formal writing–but a switch, a light bulb, will go off in my head and, like dominoes, one thing leads to another and then there we are.
It’s not fair that people with disabilities get judged by how they look. Some adults don’t get soul mates because of how they are looked at.
Glad to see I'm not alone.
My Husband Is Not My Soulmate - Mary Graham
Mostly grading students’ essays is a boring, excruciating job. It makes me rethink my college career path, my desire to be a teacher, and life in general. Essays written by twelve year olds are life sucking.
But then there are moments, just a line or two, that flip switches. Maybe not in the students’ heads–they still don’t seem to remember to indent a new paragraph or to not use abbreviations in formal writing–but a switch, a light bulb, will go off in my head and, like dominoes, one thing leads to another and then there we are.
It’s not fair that people with disabilities get judged by how they look. Some adults don’t get soul mates because of how they are looked at.
Sigh. I couldn't agree less.
ReplyDeleteJust days ago, I had a not quite enjoyable discussion / argument with an ex. He kept insisting I was his soul mate, the one made for him; in those kinda dramatic ways. I kept telling him I didn't think so.
The thing is they're more than two men who says I'm their soul mate and are hitting their heads in the clouds to prove to me and 'own' me.
I was beginning to get bothered o! If more than two people are so sure I'm their soul mate, means I'm in trouble o! How I go take.do.am.na?
I said to myself, there's nothing like that. It's all emotions, sentiments. Or not to be too strong about my opinion, if someone cares for you, respects, helps you grow, you reciprocate that and then you both get married; ehen! You can tag the person as your soul mate. Don't just expect 7stars to dance around your eyes each time you see him/her, nor expect you'll magically be always joyful at everything they do. Etc
Biko pardon the epistle.
"Sigh. I couldn't agree less."
DeleteJudging by your post, it should be: "Sigh. I couldn't agree more."
"Sigh. I couldn't agree less."
DeleteJudging by your reply, it should be: "Sigh. I couldn't agree more."
AMEN!!!
ReplyDeleteSaw it yesterday and loved it too.
ReplyDeleteI disagree very strongly but heyyy :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is a very deep topic. I think it's best everyone takes it back to creater, the maker, the one who specially created Holy Matrimony. We need to go back and learn the basics and depths of it all. Soulmate has different meanings and it's perceived differently by people. Some people might say the person is their soulmate because they complete them sexually etc. Some definitions online say that the person makes you whole while others just say you have a deep connection on all levels with your soulmate.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I believe everyone needs to be whole first with their creator and on their own. Another reason why people-especially women should spend their singlehood understanding and loving both God and themselves. That's all the wholeness we truly need. After all, in the end, noone stands with their spouse or family, lol. It's still an OYO state of mind somehow. Any woman (using women as an example) that truly knows her Lord in ALL facets and forms will know that He is the true lover of her soul. ONLY God completes us and without Him we remain void of different things. I tell you, even when you find that one God has designed for you, it takes the true wisdom of God to have a blessed and wonderful marriage. It's beyond our emotions but getting to the level where we understand that this whole 'soulmate' or marriage thing has a deeper purpose. Unless we meet the Oga at the top and ask Him for that purpose and He in turn prepares us gradually for the purpose and gives us that one that will help or lead us to that divine purpose, then we've missed the whole point. Two will become ONE- deep deep deep and there's no ONE without God! I was meditating on Proverbs 31 and the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to how wonderful the virtuous woman is- there's no perfection but a P31 woman understands that without a man, she's still complete with her Lord. We must get to this level of God-confidence and self-confidence (at least to some extent). Those that wait and wait for a 'soulmate' to make them complete shall wait forever. Every woman should read- The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord by T.D Jakes. Read, take notes, meditate, read the scriptures connected to it and start acting! Thank me later :)
Gbam! :)
Deletetakes it back to creator***
ReplyDeleteI like this article. I like Mary's dismal of the "I need a man to complete me" notion. However, I do believe in soul-mates and I don't believe there can only one.
ReplyDeleteI believe a soul-mate is someone whose spiritual base is compatible to yours - someone whose soulful outlook on God & life matches the vigor of yours (even though you will have individual personality differences). After all, we are told by the apostle Paul to be "equally yoked" with our mates. That would mean that we are to be matched with someone on the same spiritual page with the same goal: to strengthen, test, encourage, and help each grow in our divinity and love for God.
I don't think there is only one guy in the world who can do this for you. But, I do believe that you are only meant to be with one so the person you marry is the one you are to build and enjoy a beautiful life and relationship with.
I think the real confusion comes in for ladies because guys tend to be perceived from a physical/personality standpoint and not a spiritual one; it's much less about the soul-mate and more about the "sexual mate" or "we-find-the-same-jokes-funny mate".
I love this post. I completely agree with it. Our soul mate is divine-God. Its important that women begin to realise that it'll help a lot in realising a man cannot feel that hole that was meant for the presence of the Almighty.
ReplyDeletehttp://myshekere.blogspot.ie
Love this, agree wholeheartedly! I'll be sharing this post.
ReplyDeleteI think it's interesting how we equate soul mate to mean 'romantic partner without whom life would be woeful'. I totally don't see it that way.
ReplyDeleteI think of the term as connoting kindred spirits. It's undeniable that once in a while, life serves us people that we have a deep sense of kinship with. Whether it's that "I feel like I've known you foreveeer" type of ease, or just consistent peace about who you are and how you are with that person. That can happen with 1, 2, heck 3 or 4 people and I don't think they all (or at all) need to be romantically inclined. There are just people who have edged permanent inscriptions in my heart. People whom I have a strong accord and love for. Most of them are platonic friendships, and even still I call them my soul mates!
Cheers to carving out our own definitions and living in our respective truths.