THE STORY OF HERSELF

I was five when I had my first kiss, his name was Olumide and he lived in the house next to mine. I remember we were playing hide and go seek, I was hiding he was seeking and he found me. I can see myself clearly, standing there in my ripped shorts and my Care Bears vest top bartering shamelessly, promising anything if he would go away quietly without letting on that he had found me. The future criminal then boldly said he would do it for a kiss, no big deal I thought then kissed him on the cheek, “no” said the 6year old cad,” like French people do”. I was understandably confused, I had no idea how French people kissed, I had never even met any and thinking they had to be a civilized group I acquiesced and before I knew it, his mouth was clamped on mine like a vacuum and we were swapping spit, literally.

I had never been so disgusted in all my short life and this incident was so monumental that I remember absolutely nothing before it. It was like I was born just a few minutes before THE KISS because that was my earliest memory.

Most people usually remember their mother’s faces bending over them in their cribs or their first day at school, in short most people’s memories are usually up and running before they’re 5 except me, mine happens to be an extremely gruesome kiss with a boy I haven’t seen since. Luckily he didn’t ruin my subsequent experiences
and I got through adolescence with the least amount of harm.

What are your earliest memories? Oh yeah and of first kisses too!

BARBIE: FASHION THROUGH THE AGES & SOME OTHER NOT SO IMPORTANT STUFF

Zee weekend was a blur of champagne, private jets, Monaco, yachts, Russian billionaires and Argentinian polo players. I've been existing in a fugue state of mind, as a result of too much Caviar and Cristal and dancing at Anabel's with princes. My Stuart Weitzman's hurt and my Chopard headband is probably drifting along the Seine now as a result of a crazy scavenger hunt with Charlotte Casirsghi and Tatiana Santo Domingo.... I So Freakin Wish!!!!!!

The weekend was dry, dry, dry! Apart from a night out at Quorum and Tuccano with my partner's in crime [Ediri, Erenma, Adanna & Anwuli] nada happened, zilch! I've spent the last 2 weekend's in school and was chafing at the bit to go to Abuja and see what's happening, but I swear tumbleweed was blowing along Aminu Kano, it was that boring. Next weekend I'll respect my old age and sit my firm, toned tush in Bwari, no more town forays for me.

P.S. the rumour going round town that the waitresses at PLAY on Adetokunbo Ademola now serve in lingerie in addition to serving a little something on the side? BIG FAT IRO! Na lie! Spoke to Elvis Okpaleke, who runs said bar and he said that nothing of the sort is going down, apparently there's going to be a lingerie fashion show at PLAY in a couple of weeks and there was just a little awareness to whip up interest in the show and it happened only ONCE. Plus the girls in their unmentionables were professional models not the waitresses, so all y'all that have been saving your lap dance money and not sending your girlfriend's top up, better hightail it to the nearest MTN umbrella and spend that cheese.

In other 'covered up news', just saw the pics for "Barbie: Fashion Through The Ages", actually I've had them for a couple of weeks but have been too busy to blog, still on that Law School ish, you know. Anyhoo being the big baby I am [still have all my Barbies from when I was a kid] I practically puked when I saw the photos, combinig my two loves: dolls and high end designer clothing, although I can afford only one of the two. I looove these pictures and have spent many a happy hour just gazing at them, for all you old people like me with 10 yr olds inside trying to get out, enjoy!



BURBERRY
Classic Burberry, the scarf, the trench... very reminiscent of Mary Quant, Biba and London 60's cool.


BOB MACKIE
Bob Mackie is THE go to guy for fabulous Hollywood glamour. Anybody remember Cher's gowns from the 80's, especially the Zulu princess/stripper outfit she had on when she won the Oscar for Moonstruck in 1987? Forget Elie Saab, forget Marchesa [as fabulous as they are], Bob Mackie is THE MAN!


VERSACE
My 'Queen' Beyonce Knowles, wore this dress and its totally one of my favourite red carpet looks on her. Tres fabuleux!


CAROLINA HERRERA
Not too wild about this dress, looks like a regular wedding dress from Kleinfeld's to me, but I'm a really big Herrera fan [her wedding dress in SATC the movie is to die for!] and I especially love looking at old pictures of her from the 70's, when she was a Manhattan socialite painting the town red with Diane Von Furstenberg, who knew they would go from sipping Mojito's at Studio 51 and hanging out at Andy Warhol's loft, to fasion royalty.


CYNTHIA ROWLEY
Not a huge fan of this look or of Cynthia Rowley even, but she has a surprisingly huge fan base, so protocol demands she get her 2 cents as well as everyone else. Plus once in a line she deviates from her WASPiness and creates something really cool, maybe its her stint as a judge on Design Star thats opening her up to new possibilities., Who knows?


FERRARI
Forgive me for fashion ignorance, but I never knew Ferrari had a fashion line. I know about Cristina Ferrari, but she doesnt seem to be affiliated with this project so I dont think its one and the same. I need info!


JUDITH LEIBER
Aah Judith of the gloriously sinful purses, hits it outta the park with this achingly beautiful dress. it looks like its been spun from gold thread and its such a perfect Barbie dress. I WANT this dress so badly, its definitely one of my top 3 outta all the dresses


LILLY PULITZER
I flat out don't like this dress, I'd never wear it, nuff said. But this 79 year old former NY socialite is doing pretty well and her limited edition toys also include a Monopoly set.



BADGELY MISCHKA
Don't think this is one of Messrs Mark Badgely and James Mischka's better efforts, the dress certainly could have done without the enormous SJP style corsage on the front. But they're allowed to make mistakes when they're so fabulous all the time, non?


DOONEY&BOURKE
Hmnnn, a little too 2005 for me


MONIQUE LHUILLIER
The Queen of Pretty, sticks to her signature look, but whams it up with that gorgeous brown sash. Won't mind this at all on my Big Day.



ZAC POSEN
I still havent recovered from Posen's bridesmaid dresses from SATC the movie and he comes and hits us with this again. The volume! The pleats! The colour! I Love!
p.s. also peep Zac as Ken, too keeyoot!


BARBIE FOR MAC
Makeup Art Cosmetics shows us the meaning of diversification. Why stick to boring old foundations and lipglass, when you can do Barbie!

photo credits: elle.com

P.S. check out kemberlysramblings.blogspot.com for her Women Worth Knowing post featuring Blondie Okpuzor, definitely worth reading.

MY FAVOURITE BLOGS

I've wanted to blog about this for a while now, because even before I joined blogger I'd always had blogs that I checked out almost every day, maybe to see what they were wearing or to hear the latest installment in the drama that is some people's lives. Lemme digress a bit, but don't you think some people's lives are just larger than life, like I hear the stuff that happens to regular people every day and its just like an episode of Desperate Housewives.

Anyway from the blogs I'm following list, its pretty obvious what my favourite blogs are but I still wanna talk out by them anyway. Its my bloggie and I'll do what I want to.......

In alphabetical order, so you can't tell which one I like best:

1) CRANBERRY GLITZ
This was the first blog I ever read, I think it was about 3 years ago and I LOVED it! Its written by 3 designers living in New York and Washington DC and is basically about their lives and their fashion label, Cranberry. I heard about the designer's through a friend of mine that went to Howard but I can't remember how I heard about their blog. Their posting is a little irregular but its great fun, fabulous clothes and very funny opinions.

2) FACE HUNTER
This is basically a street style blog and the blogger describes himself as "a man out and about in London and beyond: eye candy for the style hungry". That alone says it all, this guy trawls the globe photographing the most avant-garde dressing I've ever seen. Some of the people look downright insane, but a lot of the photos have given me great fashion ideas, its one of the blogs I go to daily to see what people are wearing in Stockholm, Barcelona, Paris, Moscow, London, New York e.t.c. this guy goes everywhere!

3) FASHION CHALET
I would describe this blogger's style as Miami indie retro and seriously cool. She has an amazing shoe collection and some of the best vintage looks in my opinion, plus she we share an abiding love of Sex and the City and everything concerning it. Definitely a great one, I endorse!

4) IN THE OLSEN'S CLOSET
A lot of people may not know this but I LOVE the Olsen twins style., I wouldn't always wear everything they wear but it makes for good entertainment sometimes. So when I found a blog entirely devoted to them and their activities, I was ecstatic! It basically chronicles their everyday lives, their daily fashions, parties they attend, projects their interested in. I really can't fathom how this person gets all that info, but I suspect its probably written by someone in the twins vast publicity machine though the blogger describes herself as Tinsley: the girl in the wayfarers with the French Vogue.

5) JADORE-FASHION
This is so in the running for my all time favourite, written by my dear friend Uzo from Maryland who doesn't dwell on the unimportant stuff like I do sometimes but just indulges in her love for fashion daily. Its also one of my favourite because we have very similar tastes so I can envision myself in every single thing she wears, we even have some identical clothes and accessories. Plus we share an addiction to H&M, Zara, Aldo and Forever 21. Totally banging! p.s. congratulations on your 100th post!

6) KANYE UNIVERSECITY
A shrine to Mr. West, makes for very interesting reading, not just because I love Kanye West in spite of the attitude. I think I even love him because of the attitude.

7) KEMBERLYS RAMBLINGS
Served to you in a Loboutin shoe box! Too mad! I LOVE this blog, not just because it tells me what my friends in New York are up to everyday but because Nkem is such a great person and we freakily have a lot in common, SATC, Kimora Lee, Becky Bloomwood e.t.c. And her fashion sense is soo on point, no Olsen baggy looks for her but straight up ghetto Grace Kelly all the way. She doesn't know this [but I guess she will now] when we were younger I used to look out for she and her sister in church everyday to see what they wearing, I was like mentally competing with them. Sick, I know.

8) SICKERFAINT
This is a closed blog and can only be read upon invivtation. Its sort of the trials of a designer who just moved back to Lagos from London. There're weirdly very few posts about clothes, most of them concentrate on whats going on in her life, which are absolutely HILARIOUS! This blogger has to be one of my favourite storytellers, she can turn just sitting in traffic in Lagos into Arabian Nights, which is a rare gift. The post where she talked about going for an aristo party on a yacht, classic!

9) STYLE BUBBLE
Written by the great Susanna Lau, she lives in London and is fashion blogging royalty. She has her finger directly on the pulse and nothing gets by her, as the hot designers are graduating from Central St. Martins, she's already blogging about them. Susie Bubble is a great example of how blogging turns into an actual business, she started her blog just to showcase her daily wardrobe and quirky sense of style but has quickly turned into a designer darling and is now so famous she gets freebies from top labels and gets invited to fashion shows around the world and even does editorials for all sorts of magazines, she even counts the great Daphne Guinness as an admirer. She has won numerous awards and is an example of how modern technology can make happen, what would have taken years and a personal okay from Anna Wintour.

10) THIRD WORLD PROFASHIONAL
Need I say more? you know you love me, xoxo!

JENIFA!

I don't like Nigerian movies, I think they're so bad they're not worth watching. I know you're supposed to rep your country and all,but I'm so not a fan. So it was a surprise to even myself when on Tuesday after watching the inauguration I sat down to watch Jenifa. This is a must see movie, no doubt. I'd been hearing about it for a while now, like everybody's going wild for it. Its not even a regular Nigerian movie, its in Yoruba sef. But I swear this movie is the highest. It is HILARIOUS! I and my friends have been using Jenifa phrases all week, its that kind of movie, seriously. The actress that played her, Funke Akindele is even nominated for a Future Award [award for exceptional achievers under 35] here in Nigeria. I'm not gonna say anything aboiut it, just go and see it, too mad!

Anyhoo, my fabulous blogger friend, jadore-fashion tagged me to show the 4th picture in the 4th folder in my computer.

The Rules:

1. Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures.

2. Pick the 4th picture in that folder.

3. Explain the picture.

4. Tag 4 people to do the same



This picture was taken early 2008, was on my way to Piccolo Mondo to hang out with friends, pas grand-chose.

I'm tagging Kemberly, Uber Fabulous Nigerian Girl, Fashion Addict and Fashion Chalet

KATIE VS VICKY

Katie 'I must be Victoria Beckham by force' Holmes, is at it again. following on the heels of Victoria Beckham's big reveal as the face [or body to be exact] of Emporio Armani underwear, pictures of Katie Holmes for Miu Miu S/S 09 have recently surfaced. Granted she looks banging and I have to admit I don't think she planned it to be in competition with VB, but the timing is just too freakishly coincidental. I'm sure Posh must be wondering what she has created, as in the former student is now taking over big time. Isn't that so annoying, you take a regular girl and turn her into fashion royalty and it turns around to bite you in the caboose.





p.s. both campaigns were shot by the same photographers; Mert Alas and Marcus Pigotti

Its not like I dislike Katie Holmes or anything, I'm just indifferent to her. She has no personal style and is only famous for being Tom Cruise's wife, before he married her she was just that girl from Dawson's Creek and a few high school movies. If she hadn't met Tom Cruise she would have gone down the path of everybody else we loved in the 90's HS movies that are no longer relevant e.g. Sarah Michelle Gellar, the cast of American Pie, Melissa Joan Hart, Julia Stiles etc.So the fact that she's being touted as so fashionable and inspiring is not just annoying but downright insulting. I mean even after she married Tom Cruise and they were doing the whole whirlwind romance press tour thing, every photo they took she looked like a hot mess; frizzy hair, cold sores, rumpled clothes... Every time I saw a picture of her I was just like wow! she must have a really beautiful personality because she just looked so ordinary, i just didnt get it. then WHAM! the pictures of her and Victoria Beckham at Paris Fashion Week and it was just uphill from there for Katie. They did the faux best friends thing for a while until she had learned enough and could now get her stuff together i.e. hire an uber stylist.

Actually I've always had this theory, and y'all should hear me out. I think Victoria Beckham traded her fabulous fashion sense for entry into the Hollywood elite. Like the Beckham's start hanging out with the Cruises, Katie starts dressing and looking better, next thing David and Victoria are on air kissing basis with Will and Jada, Marc and JLo, Tony and Eva. You get me?

Anyhoo, let the battle of the ad campaigns begin! And may the best woman win [I'm rooting for you Vicky!]

FINALLY!!

Yaay me! Got my internet up and running today, so the question becomes, what to do first? I had a whole set of themes to work on, stuff to blog about, I'd created entire posts in my head but confronted with a blinking monitor and lonely keys, I'm just totally blank. I guess pictures were always better than words, the first installment of the holidays [i know, I know, its a little belated now]is underway. Today is a spotlight on Nigerian traditional wear, I saw some banging clothes this Christmas and made sure I got all of them on film, but due to the son of satan who stole my camera, y'all are only going to see a few because those are the only ones I'd saved before that unspeakable tragedy occured.

Long Time Coming

I know, I know, its not that long, but whenever i've been away from Blogville for more than a week I get withdrawal symptoms. Anyhoo its almost midnight, its freezing here in Bwari, my eyes are red and my false lashes are bent to one side from lack of sleep and I'm posting this from my cell phone. Why you may ask? Because that mad child Uzo of Jadore Fashion had the liver to accuse me of neglecting my blog, can you imagine? I just got off the phone with her and my ears are still ringing from being majorly cussed out, ok I'm exaggerating, maybe she didn't cuss me out per se, but she spoke very severely to me on the dangers of irregular posts. So galvanized by the fear of losing what little readers I already have, and because the internet on my laptop is out, I whipped out my trusty Nokia.

Its been a hell of a Christmas, or heaven to be more politically correct. My village, Arondizuogu [say that without biting your tongue and rendering yourself incapable of ever speaking again] is the single coolest village in the South East. We have the hottest people, the wildest parties... Anyway Christmas was a blast. Obviously I'd rather be in Lagos for Christmas due to the presence of the bf [who I think has adopted Lagos as his hometown], my friends and some seriously bitching parties, but if I have to be in the 'country' Aro [as we indigenes call it] is definitely the best. Then my baby cousin got married which gave me another splendid opportunity to display my ability to represent Nigeria at the crying olympics. It was a beautiful wedding, pictures coming soon. Then there was an illicit weekend in Lagos before I got back to school yesterday.

Oh yeah, to get my new year off to a roaring start, my faithful sidekick, my camera was stolen on Friday night. I and that camera have been through a lot, we'd been together for 2 years, taken a lot of trips, captured a lot of moments, seen old friends go and new ones come, my faithful Sony Cybershot. Its still painful to talk about and it had a frickin 5 gig memory card in it! I'm puttin those people in the hands of Amadioha, that'll teach them not to mess with Long Juju.

My eyes hurt are hurting seriously now from staring at this tiny screen but until I renew my internet which will be at the end of the week, this is it for now. Luckily I'd saved most of the pictures I took over the holidays on my laptop, so once my internet is up and running I'll lay them out. Hope y'all had a fab Christmas/ Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa, I know I did and I hope noone made New Year resolutions because I personally think they're a crock and nobody ever sticks to them anyway.