Saturday, February 7, 2009


I was five when I had my first kiss, his name was Olumide and he lived in the house next to mine. I remember we were playing hide and go seek, I was hiding he was seeking and he found me. I can see myself clearly, standing there in my ripped shorts and my Care Bears vest top bartering shamelessly, promising anything if he would go away quietly without letting on that he had found me. The future criminal then boldly said he would do it for a kiss, no big deal I thought then kissed him on the cheek, “no” said the 6year old cad,” like French people do”. I was understandably confused, I had no idea how French people kissed, I had never even met any and thinking they had to be a civilized group I acquiesced and before I knew it, his mouth was clamped on mine like a vacuum and we were swapping spit, literally.

I had never been so disgusted in all my short life and this incident was so monumental that I remember absolutely nothing before it. It was like I was born just a few minutes before THE KISS because that was my earliest memory.

Most people usually remember their mother’s faces bending over them in their cribs or their first day at school, in short most people’s memories are usually up and running before they’re 5 except me, mine happens to be an extremely gruesome kiss with a boy I haven’t seen since. Luckily he didn’t ruin my subsequent experiences
and I got through adolescence with the least amount of harm.

What are your earliest memories? Oh yeah and of first kisses too!


    awww soorry about the kiss dear. That was HILARIOUS though.
    I remember nothing from my childhood and thats how I like it. LMAO. Happy Friday dear. And are you in Naija?

  2. LOL! THIS BABE! I just saw Bumight e-divorce FineBoyAgbero because of you!

    You guys are killing me! I concede, this your first bidness is not potatoes o!

    I remember everything starting from that icky kiss. Yes boss I am. Abuja by way of Lagos, You'd know if you read my archives, HOW DARE YOU! I've read yours!

  3. LMAO @ this your experience--OMG seriously that sound so like my first, can't remember the exact age, buy it was in pre-K @ university primary sch and some hide and seek game (u got to watch out for kids during these hide and seek games lol)-- and yeah, gosh!! It was this chubby kid, cute and all--it wasn't french like yours
    [lmao] cuz that would've grossed me out...ok! enough said!!!!

  4. ok, all u bad children that were french kissing before second grade! lol!

    i blogged about my first kiss before and I'm pissed everytime i remember it!

  5. mu first kiss was with this cult guy i dated in my part 2....late bloomer ummm! unlike u.....age 5!dnt mind the naughty boy, he was prolly a victim too...all this older sibs tht allow the younger ones watch whteva.

  6. @jf all those kids from uni pry sch are rotten as hell, i feel you on that!

    @bumight first of all i want to extend my condolences on the breakdown of your marriage, don't mind that polygamist FBA.
    the kiss was completely one sided, i would have avoided it if i could.

    @miz-cynic cult guy! ok, your naija street cred is officially established! this kiss was just beans jare, the proper one came when i was 16.
    i know yeah, kids watch a lot of crap, he prolly saw "blue lagoon" or some shit.

  7. i remember my first kiss, cant remember how old i was. twas with a family friend, i think we watched a 007 movie or something n tried to re-enact it, like you we were playing hide and seek and we both happened to hide in the store of my house. it was a brief kiss, but i remember his mouth smelt some candy, wonder if he remembers)

    when it comes to memory, i have lots stored up in me, from age three or even earlier....thats kind of a joy to me.

  8. LMAO...oh my God, that is so so funny....French people style heh...little did you know u would one day become the champion french kisser...

  9. @fantasy queen, what is it with kids and erotic hide and seek?

    @afrobabe, champion abi? lol

  10. I cant remember my first kiss. I am not much of a kisser though.

    Hmmm I was barely 3 but I remember always crying to momma to back me...

  11. at 5..hahahaha! wow..

    i was around that age when i had my 1st peck on the cheek..i think the boy in question was dared..i was too stunned for words..then my 1st saliva exchange was when i was 14..ugh..he told me to close my eyes, i thought i was gonna get me a gift, n then BAM! the assault on my lips started..chai, it was disgusting to say the least!

    thanx for stopping by! :)

  12. hah 5?? hmm u don spoil finish! lol.. actualli am the latest bloomer here.. first kiss.. final year in uni..was lieing in bed.. he came to sit next to me.. shielded us with hhis hoody and just kissed me.. happend in a space of 2 mins.. i was stunned to say the least.. i shud blog about it.. hehe.. i have memories from 3 onwards!

  13. @buttercup truth or dare is always a good one. many first kisses happened that way

    @zara no be my fault o! i no send am!

  14. LOL. chei! Thank God he didn't ruin it for you. I was a late bloomer o, I think my first kiss was at 17 or something.
    Don't point and laugh, I went to an all girl's school.

  15. @mgbeke i cant laugh o, i went to an all girls sch too so my proper grown up first kiss was at 16

  16. LOL....i'm right there with you on morbid first kiss experiences.

    When I was 4, I remember kissing/being kissed by a boy who was 5, our family friend who used to come over every so often. We did it under the covers..."just like in the movies". But my older sister caught us & reported us to a panel made up of my older siblings. They sat us on 2 kitchen stools in front of them & grilled us about the event. I wanted to die... suicidal thoughts for a 4 yr old? yes. I literally wanted the ground to open up & swallow us; me & partner in spit-swapping crime ;)


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