Old Lady Blues

I honestly thought I could party hard, I really believed that I was still the same old Daks circa early 2000s who could party with the best of them.

I was wrong....so wrong.

This weekend it felt more like I was 62 instead of 26, I fully intended to get shattered after my exams, I proclaimed the fact far and wide but after just one night I spent the rest of the weekend skyping, trying to find a suitable site to watch my tv shows and just being a big fat couch potato. 

Old age has really set in and I'm not even mad, for a couple of years now I've derived more pleasure from staying in than partying hard. It is so serious that when I went home for Christmas, I only went out to a club once, just one time in the three weeks I was in Lagos. 

Had to make an exception for Friday though because it was my friend Funsho's birthday so I dusted off my Miss Havisham cobwebs and set out in search of a good time.

Funsho




We went out to dinner first where I pigged out as usual, I'm biting my nails awaiting the day my super-human metabolism gives up on me and everything that goes through my lips ends up on my hips.

Hazel

Dami

Nike

Jen

I spotted a girl at the club we went to after dinner and drinks wearing the Virgos Lounge Coco dress, it is such a rockstar outfit I had to go up to her and tell how her fab she looked and surprise surprise she's a TWP fan. I still get excited when people recognize me from my little corner of the internet or they say how much they love my blog, it always seems so surreal, like "lil ol' me, really?"

Ama

Blazer, bandeau top and pencil skirt with lime accents - River Island
Glittery silver pumps - Dorothy Perkins


I don't know if anyone has noticed lately but River Island is knocking it out of the park this year. I'm not usually a River Island fan, I mean I get some stuff from there but I'm not like a devotee or anything. I went in there completely by accident to return a pair of shoes I bought over the holidays and was just floored by everything I saw. They are going hard on the neon trend, that's the store I said I went into and went a little crazy, I wanted literally everything in there, managed to cop a few budget permitting.

RI is killing it, no jokes.

After the night, woke up at an ungodly hour on Saturday and spent the day alternating between my bed and my kitchen.

Joblessness feels so good.

Love and light xx

p.s. The item for my Giveaway has arrrrrived! I am tres excited about this one because it is my second ever Giveaway and my first international one. Only clue I can give out as to what it is is that its from Virgos Lounge, you have to be following my blog and also "like" the ThirdWorldProfashional facebook page to win though.

The Only Profashional With An LL.M. (shoutout to Naeto C.)

I cannot believe one year has gone by so fast.

This time last last year, I was just settling into Aberdeen, dealing with the ridiculous cold, getting to know new friends, discovering new experiences. Fast forward a year later and I'm saying goodbye to those friends and experiences, packing up my things for the inevitable move back home and trying to understand exactly how 365 days went by so quickly.

Anyway it is finished and I couldn't be happier, honestly this time I'm really done with school, even short courses sef I no want. Not like I'm scared of the work, I'm just sick and tired of studying. Since I took my Bar finals back in Law School my entire perspective on exams has changed. Before I got into Law School I'd heard all sorts of horror stories about how the Bar exams were the hardest in the world, people passed out during exams, committed suicide etc. This gist left me so wound up that by the first day of exams I was tense AF, went in for Property Law and came out pissed, not because it was difficult, no....but because it had been SO EASY. I'd spent a whole year losing my hair and worrying over nothing, I had gone into that exam so terrified that I messed up my Property Law paper, aced the others anyway and graduated with a 2:1 from Law School. That experience however, left an indelible mark on me, since then I have never ever been stressed about exams again, not like I don't put in my best but I don't go through everyday thinking the sky is falling because other people say so. I'm telling you I went through my LL.M finals chillin' like a villain, the only thing I was tired of was the endless studying but not the fear of mass failure like I had back in Law School.

I've made some really awesome friends in Aberdeen and after our last paper we were so hyped that the entire lot of us whipped out cameras and got snap happy

H&M Cape
H&M cream jumper
Topshop supersoft Leigh jeans in Pewter
River Island taselled loafers in Lime
Bill Blass 'Oliver' lamb bag


Ah, this brings me to my new obsession for SS12......neon.

I've been immersing myself in blinding, clashing, fluorescent colours and lime is my current favourite out of the lot. Got these lime loafers from River Island the day I finished, sort of like a "well done Daks" gift to myself, I haven't been to the shops since since December and sadly I went a little crazy. Lets just say my landlord and I are going to be having a few tense words next month and I'm going to be hiding from anyone that even remotely looks like they're from Scottish Hydro Electric.

These babies....WOOOOSSSH


So these are a few of my classmates.....

Ankur! Our unofficial class social prefect,

Manda, Miss Party Starter 2011/2012

Ankur and Manda are literally behind every class drinks do, party, game night....like everything, their energy and commitment to a good time is amazing. They're both hosting our Term End class party on Saturday and the theme is "Prom"........corny AF but I love it. I don't have any prom-like dresses but I have a Virgos Lounge dress which bears a striking resemblance to an 80s prom dress a la Molly Ringwald and the rest of The Breakfast Club....short, tight, shiny, ruffly and insanely OTT. Can't wait to rock it.


My boos Yewande, Jola and Amerie

Seriously going to miss my sidekick Amerie, she left Aberdeen finally this morning...too sad.

I give terrible pimp face.....




Scheila! Aka the Brains from Brazil. Study buddy and all round fabulous woman

My gorgeous Kings College campus.....

Stole these pictures off the school website since there's no way my baby Nikon could fully capture the beauty of this place.

The school is over 500 years old and most of the time it looked like something out of an Edgar Allan Poe poem, cobbled streets, original buildings from the 15th century, knights graves everywhere.....

When I first got here and I used to leave the library late at night, I used to get a little scared because everything just looked so old. Never thought I'd get used to it.

So the agenda is to sleep for the next two months now, like really, no joke.

Thanks for all the support and encouragement I got from you guys while I was away, I really appreciated it. To say danke I'm having a Giveaway next week! Well as soon as the item for the giveaway arrives, I've ordered it and I'm waiting on the delivery service. I won't say what it is yet but I promise, you guys are going to love it. You have to be following me first though and you have to like my facebook page too, you can do that HERE.

Love and light xx

Mini-Hiatus

Even if you guys didn't know I was back in this Scottish wasteland it would have been pretty obvious from the lack of fun, glittery posts you had become accustomed to over the past month. To add to the general air of neglect here in Profashional land, I am sorry to announce that as my finals are coming up at the end of the month I'm going to have to go ghost on you guys till they're over. If the spirit moves me or if something of such immense magnitude occurs that I am simply compelled to share, I might make an appearance. Besides that, I'm going into lockdown till January 26th.

Pray for me dear ones as I work towards increasing the number of letters after my name, I intend to lay waste to as much paper as possible by spelling out;

Miss ThirdWorldProfashional LL.B, B.L, LL.M, ACIArb <-------------looks impressive doesn't it.

Trust me, it actually isn't that serious.

No fear, hopefully Oil & Gas State Control and Contracting would be done and dusted soon enough and I can go back to being footloose and fancy-free. Well, until I have to start looking for a job anyway. Sometimes I wish I could just stay in school forever, no matter how old you are, being a student makes you forget that you have responsibilities.

In case you thought I forgot......WELCOME TO THE WORLD BLUE IVY CARTER!!!!!!!!!

Yessir, its the second coming, the baby to end all babies (well, until my twins arrive), the blessed Knowles-Carter spawn and the highest profile celeb baby ever (in your face Suri and Shiloh). We probably will never see this child until she's 18 or so but maybe I can talk to Nda Beyonce and she'll let us have a sneak peek. Stay tuned.

I will leave you guys with the songs that are currently on heavy rotation for me on iTunes. Bruno Mars 'It Will Rain' and Lloyds 'Dedication To My Ex'.

I fell in love with the Bruno Mars song when he performed it on US X Factor, the visuals and the entire performance just blew me away. I tweeted earlier in the week that if Bruno Mars decides to love you, its a wrap because brother man loves hard. His lyrics are not just he'll be sad if you don't love him, he'll literally kill himself for love. Obviously he doesn't mean it but watching that cutie patootie with the baby face sing these songs with such heartfelt passion makes me melt everytime.

The Lloyd song, I love the retro doo-wop feel of it, you can't help but move when you hear it. The first few times I heard it were on the radio and it was always the clean version but I now mistakenly downloaded the original song. My Lawd...my ears were seared. Basically in the clean version, whenever he says "lovin", in the dirty one he actually says a slang term for a part of the female anatomy which is also another word for a cat.

Every. Single. Time.

It was a bit much I tell you, I sharply downloaded the clean one abeg. He sounds a bit like a young MJ on it, the song is fire though. Listen below;

Love and light xx

Been-To

The title of this post is a popular phrase used in the novel 'Second Class Citizen' by Buchi Emecheta, it depicts a young man/woman who has studied abroad and has come home to Nigeria to make a success of his/her life. That book was one of my favourites growing up and it gave me such a bad impression of the United Kingdom that for many years I refused to come to the UK on holiday, always insisting on the US instead. Plus it contains the most hilarious punishment ever; Adah, the central character played hooky from school as a child and subsequently went missing, everybody, family and teachers searched for her everywhere. Finally the police were called in and they arrested Adah's mother for child neglect and forced the woman to drink a giant bowl of garri without sugar until her daughter was found. Till this day I only have to imagine the poor woman drinking a massive bowl of garri without sugar and begging the policemen to release her to keel over with laughter. Trust Adah got the beating of her life when she was finally found.

Powerful writing.

Got into Aberdeen this morning and I've been alternating between sleeping, catching up on my reality shows, tweeting and unpacking. Strangely I'm not as depressed as I thought I'd be, I thought I'd get back and be pining for Lagos but that's not even the case. I miss Lagos and my family but I think I partied myself out so I really needed to get back here where its quiet so I can chill. The weather is pretty mild, just 3 degrees today and its going to be 6 tomorrow. That's practically summer for us here in Scotland.

The journey was uneventful, apart from discovering my friend Ifeoma was on the same flight though. Same thing happened when I was going to Nigeria, Nwabugo and I were on the same flight completely by accident.

Ifeoma was headed to Rotterdam though so we parted at Amsterdam.

Ifeoma


Hmnnnn, now that I'm looking at this photo in its extra large format it looks like I put on a bit over the holidays. I don't mind though, here's to more cushion for the pushin'.

In bed now gearing up for the most legendary lie-in ever, I fully intend to not crack an eyelid till at least noon. Weird how tired I am when I didn't even change timezones.

Thank God for journey mercies.

Love and light xx

p.s. I discovered the best thing recently, my cousin Ilyasah downloaded a Rosary app on my iPad for me. Though I love my Rosary I cannot lie it gets a bit tedious at times saying the 5 decades at a time but this app reads the prayers out for you, it says all the Mysteries too. Its the coolest thing ever, today was the Glorious Mysteries and I basically just turn it on and go about whatever I'm doing and in the background the prayers are on a continuous loop. Technology is amazing. if you're interested, the app is called 'Rosary Delux'.

New Years

I can't even lie I've had a hell of a holiday.

I usually party hard anytime I can wheedle the parents into letting us spend Christmas in Lagos instead of Arondizuogu but I surpassed my personal record this year. I ensured I had enough experiences to tide me over when I get back to the Grampians.

Fun! Fun! Fun!

My last official "partying" day was the 1st, my cousin Ilyasah's family throw down a hell of a New Years party every 1st of January and I decided to make that my last hurrah.

ASOS backless houndstooth dress
Calvin Klein metallic tote
Valentino wing-tipped sunnies
ASOS lightning bolt earrings

Stopped by Illy's before the party to see if I could help out, they had everything on lock though so we just spent the time lemming KFC and chinwagging.

Ilyasah






Went back later that night for the party proper, which rocked.com. I blogged about the same party last New Year's, if you can get yourself on the guest list its the definitely the place to be in Lagos at the beginning of the year.

Miss Selfridge cutout dress
Dorothy Perkins glitter courts

Went with my friend Nneka

Ilyasah, Nneka




It was the perfect way to end my holiday, I just need to gather the will to go back to my regular studying schedule.

Love and light xx

Countdown

I type this with a deep and heavy heart,

I have two days left in Lagos......

My flat back in Aberdeen has been empty since the 15th and will probably take two days to warm up to livable temperatures. From Wednesday morning, I resume freezing again and the despair doesn't stop there, I'm going back to meet exams at the end of the month. Whoever structured the UK academic system and placed grueling exams after a decadent holiday deserves to be drawn and quartered. Right now words like 'pipelines', 'gas contracts', 'product sharing agreements' and 'maritime boundaries' sound like Urdu to me, words that were part of my daily vocabulary before I left for Nigeria, I'm at a loss as to how I'm going to write an exam in less than a month.

It is well.

I shouldn't get ahead of myself though, I still have two days left to have fun utunu!

So on Friday I went to see the Nigerian adaptation of For Coloured Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf. Even though I normally detest Tyler Perry movies with an almost superhuman ability, I liked the movie and looked forward to seeing the original version which was  for the stage. 

H&M oversize men's shirt
Topshop leopard print tube skirt
Dolce & Gabbana aviator sunglasses
Deena & Ozzy perspex gold-toed brogues
Primark statement necklace

I think I'm getting a bit better at this picture taking malarkey. Yes.....no?

I attended with my right hand woman Nwaboogie-boogie.

Nwabugo




Oh and I got to meet the gorgeous Lohita of the ace food blog Lohi's Creations. Seeing as I'd already asked her to marry me after reading her Thanksgiving post, our meeting was just a formality. Wedding invitations between TWP and Lohi coming to a mailbox near you.

So anyhoozle, the play was showing at the Muson Centre and due to the fact that Ikeja traffic refused to release me from bondage I got there at 2.45pm for the 2pm showing. I seriously considered turning back seeing as I thought I'd missed nearly half of it, well surprise, surprise it hadn't started.

The show finally kicked off at 3.10pm as opposed to the 2pm start advertised.

SMH.

I refused to let my annoyance at their tardiness turn me into a grinch for the rest of the play and allowed myself enjoy it. It was really, really good, acting is not for pussies at all. I was completely blown by the actors abilities to memorize vast reams of lines like that. The way it was adapted to include Nigerian references too was very creative, the cast and crew definitely deserve an A for Effort.

Standout performances for me were Matilda Obaseki (Lady in Green) and Joke Silva (Lady in Red). I don't watch Tinsel so I'd never seen Matilda in action even though I'd heard of her but she was really good. She got the most laughs and seemed to be the character the audience connected with the most. Joke Silva is just a winsh, the woman can act her butt off. Her storytelling is so detailed, so vivid, you can literally see everything unfolding before you as she speaks. The bit where she tells the story of the army vet who killed his children was so moving, even though I'd seen the movie and knew what was going to happen she still had the ability to make me hang on to her every nuance. her skill is definitely without comparison in Nigeria.

I was really bummed I didn't get to see my girl crush, the grunting Nigerian "Beyonce", Tiwa Savage. She played the Lady in Yellow on the 29th but I saw the play on the 30th and Omawunmi played that part then. Omawunmi was amaze but I really wanted to see Tiwa.

Tiwa Savage if you ever read this, I just want to tell you I love you and you're hot, don't listen to those leathery old bitches who try to bring you down. You have top marks in my book.

All in all, a good production. Nigerian creatives are really trying, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

After the play I bummed around a bit then headed to the launch of the Re Bahia "Meet Me in Lagos" capsule collection at Villa Medici.

Beautiful venue, beautiful people, beautiful clothes....great way to spend a Lagos evening.

After seeing the pictures Nneka of Neks2U took of me up on her blog, I had to hide the pictures I took myself in shame, she made me look like a million kobo. Had to steal them and show you guys on here.

Virgos Lounge Ruby Maxi


The dress is such a star on its own I decided to keep my accessories to a minimum.

Virgos Lounge sha has me in bondage, it was definitely my fashion soundtrack of the holidays.

Asos drop tassel cuff
Odion Mimonet aso-oke clutch


After the launch I headed to my sisteh Molly P's house for a dinner/drinks do. Met up with my other Association of Married Friends sisteh Ediri there...

Ediri

Gina, Molly, Augusta.


It was the best way to end my evening, surrounded by the people I love, good food and the tons of drinks Molly's husband David kept plying us with. He said his intention was to have us walking on our heads by the end of the night. We thank God we still managed to be upright by the time the night was over.

Happy new year to you and yours.

Love and light xx

photo credits: neks2u.com

Hello 2012

I've had such a hectic holiday its a miracle I can even keep my eyes open as I type this. Combined with a Type A social life and the fact that as usual our househelp was AWOL the entire time therefore turning me into a professional Sikirat, by the time I get back to Aberdeen I'm going to sleep for a week.

*Sidebar* I always thought househelps going away for the holidays happened only in my family, this year however I discovered its a nationwide phenomenon. I've therefore come up with the perfect solution........'Holiday Help'. I'm starting a holiday maid/cook/steward/laundryman/driver service comprised of atheists who have no family, droids who are committed to their employers, to act as a filler during those stressful periods when the actual househelp does a runner. They will be super humans whose only interest is in making money and have no religious or familial affiliations. I suspect it will be a roaring success.

I've never been one to make resolutions or look at a new year as a time for reflection. I've always thought that if you felt any part of you needed changing you should fix it asap instead of waiting for a new year to make resolutions you have absolutely no intention of keeping.

This year however I thought some things needed sorting out; I have however decided to be

• More tolerant of other people; my impatience is legendary and it has caused a lot of friction between me and the people I love
• Less bitchy; I realize I tend to speak without thinking sometimes, in fact I do think a lot of my remarks are deliberate and they end up hurting people. I have to learn my sense of humour is different from other people's and things I think are hilarious are not as funny to the people I'm directing the jibes at.
• More optimistic; I'm the original glass is empty person, I see demons around every corner. I like to think I'm  a realist but its more like I'm a raging pessimist. Which is why I constantly play up my 'confession is possession' persona, I'm obsessed with bending the universe to my will.
• More trusting; My suspicious nature will be the death of me, I believe everybody has a hidden agenda. My constant paranoia is not sexy at all, gats dump that ish in 2011.
• Believe in myself more; I know I come off as confident and all but I used to be terribly shy as a child and some of that shyness still lingers, a lot of it actually. I need to become my own personal cheerleader.
• Less dependent on other people; I'm really not even dependent at all, I just need to eliminate every trace of it this year because I've realized a lot of people aren't worth shit. Nobody can make you happy except you, depending on other people for your happiness is a long ting of epic proportions. Except my mother......my very existence is dependent on her, that's one person I'm firmly convinced can never do me greasy.
• Do more; This year I intend to be epic, I intend to be a superstar, I intend to surpass everything I've done (which isn't even that much for my age). I'm inspired by so many young people who combine above par academics with amazing business sense. I really need to up my game.
• Do less; This is an obvious contradiction to the previous resolution, but I'm trying to find the balance between over achieving and taking life easy. I feel like we're hamsters on a wheel, constantly chasing unattainable goals and in doing that we lose sight of so many important things. I've been working towards my future since my first day at Pampers Nursery and I've always wondered, "when does it end", "when does one relax"? This life is long, this life is sooo long and we have decades to make mistakes, achieve great things, love people, have children etc. Why do we try so hard to make these things happen so quickly. I mean like with the whole marriage thing, once you do it and you start having kids, its a wrap. Your life will never be your own again, we all know we'll get married one day so why the rush to make it happen now? There's still so many things; people, travel, experiences etc that you can only enjoy fully as a footloose and fancy free singleton. I'm not saying I don't want it all, I'm just saying I want it all......but gradually.

The above are just a few things I feel I need to take into the new year with me. I really can't complain, 2011 was amazing, I experienced so many new things, deepened relationships, got rid of of toxic 'friends', forged new wonderful friendships.........

If I decide to list everybody who has made my 2011 memorable this post will never end but the people that mean everything to me know themselves already. 

2012 will be phenomenal.

Love and light xx