Sunday, October 20, 2013

Guardian Life Article 20/10/13 - Fashion Week Ready

Unless you’ve been hiding under not just one but several strategically placed rocks, you should know that the Lagos Fashion Calendar is on red alert for the month of October. The GTB Lagos Fashion & Design Week (LFDW) is coming up from the 23rd to the 26th of October.

I have fond memories of last year’s LFDW, great fashion, awesome new designers, beautiful people, sparkling events…..and I know this year is going to be bigger and more fabulous.

Now if you are an ardent style blogger watcher such as myself you could not have failed to notice the gorgeousness that was rolled out in the name of fashion during the just concluded Fashion Month that took place in the powerhouse cities of New York, London, Milan and Paris (maybe Lagos…one day?).

Bloggers, magazine editors, stylists, women with no discernible occupation but whom are frightfully stylish and frightfully well-connected, celebrities, models etc. All these people gave us all the life we needed and more with knock-out street style fashion. From Anna Dello Russo to Miroslava Duma to Ciara to Aimee Song…every “fashion person” demographic was represented and we were grateful. International Fashion Week is a twice yearly spectacle and the people watching is half the fun.

Nigeria and most particularly Lagos have people representing us in the celebrities, stylists, people who are popular for no discernible reason, models, etc categories. So we expect to see a healthy dose of street style (well whatever could pass for our own street style, getting papped in the lobby of Eko Hotel perhaps)
What is the secret however to becoming a Nigerian Street Style Star?

We all know cameras are tricky, you may have borrowed, begged or stole a knock-off Herve Leger dress with 25k Louboutins, walked as slowly as possible, smiled invitingly (desperately) at the photographers and you still don’t land that Bella Naija/Ono Bello/Guardian Life feature.

What guarantees you get noticed and become the next Queen Nkiru Anumudu or Eku Edewor?

If you are not famous and are looking to put yourself out there and as a result become a target for the comments danger zone in gossip blogs, here are a few tips below:

1) Wear Something Quirky

You know why your borrowed bandage dress didn’t work for you, too ordinary, too pretty, too predictable.

Unless you’re famous and the photogs already know your face, therefore if you showed up to every event looking like you’re going to prom in the 80s a la Emma Nyra they would still fall over you, you can’t afford to play it safe.

Be bold, be out there, be frankly….a teensy bit ridiculous.

Honestly if you pull an Anna Dello Russo and don’t get noticed then you’re just unfortunate.

2) Look Busy/Unconcerned

Even if you're just trying to figure out where Don Jazzy is so you can waylay him later, do it with an important face on. Everyone will think you're responding to a bbm from Omoyemi Akerele. 

Extra points for looking vaguely angry.

3) Be A Label Whore

Chanel Jumbo Maxi Flap bag – check

Louboutins or Guiseppe Zanotti’s – check

Hermes clic clac bracelet – check

Chanel brooch – check

How else will your people back in the village be able to say their daughter has arrived if she’s not armed to the teeth with labels? 

Make sure whatever you have on is monogrammed to the hilt, bend/break your ankles so everyone can see the red-bottoms, take every photo with your bag accidentally on purpose placed in front of you, absolutely refuse to take of your Prada Baroque sunnies indoors. 

How else will the fash-pack know that you have arrived and are waiting in the wings to take your rightful place with them?

p.s. knockoffs are totally allowed, you’d find yourself in tremendously good company.

4) Print-Tastic

If you look like Susie Bubble on acid and give them a print-plosion of life, trust and believe you will land the website cover of Bella Naija the next day. 

I personally guarantee it.

Now the trick is to look like you’ve clearly lost your mind. If at the end you closely resemble a living room in the Seventies then you have definitely hit your target.

Start with something ridiculous, layer with something else equally ridiculous, and then proceed to clash with as many ridiculous items as possible.

I love me some Susie Bubble but Lord knows her style is a mystery to me.

5) Walk The Walk

I mentioned walking really slowly initially and I wasn’t being sarcastic. 

See in Nigeria, our paparazzi culture is not as prolific as its international counterparts.Therefore at these kinds of events there are not enough photographers to satisfy the massive number of fame whores.

So if you want to guarantee you get noticed, walk into the venue and pause, make sure there isn’t someone famous ahead of you because the persona and their entourage will be taking pictures for the next 30 minutes.

When you have established that the coast is clear, walk really slowly giving the photographers time to notice this new style ingénue with her strategically placed quirky accessory, tapping away at her phone talking to far more interesting people, draped in Azzedine Alaia and clashing prints like her middle name is Solange.

After a successful outing, wait a respectable 24 hours and hit the blogs.

Do you see yourself?

Thank you.

The Guardian Life Team will be keeping an eye out for style stars at LFDW. Show up, show out and catch our attention. You never know, you could be the next Nigerian Street Style Star.

p.s. Hope you guys are still voting for me to win Most Promising Female Blogger at the ELOY Awards.

To vote go HERE

Or text "ELOY" followed by "ThirdWorldProfashional" to 35070 or email "ThirdWorldProfashional" to



  1. Hahahah! you are one crazy gal, pun intended lol! Come to think of it, its really useful info! noted! rotfl.

  2. Lol. I loved reading this article! Really nice tips. Funny too

  3. Susie Bubble's style is a mystery to me too....
    Nice article, funny too

  4. This is hilarious...I bet a lot of folks are literally taking notes. Nicely written...I will be checking for you and recap of the event ;)


  5. Adaku..u wont kill me with all dis ur articles o...LOL! Great piece....thnks for the info

  6. Hahahahahaha. I'm sitting in a lounge laughing & everyone thinks I've gone mad (I'm alone). This is hilarious

  7. This article was really funny to read and well written. :)

  8. Hehehe lol. Some people are taking note o

  9. "Do you see yourself? ....Thank You" lmaoooooooooo iKent!!

  10. Voted boo boo.. There are 3 blogs ahead oh.. Gats be tweeting this link for the followers them.
    You garra win..

    Lemme tweet too self.

  11. Hahaha that Label Whore though.. Love her..

    The village people have to be aware.


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