Pole Dancers and the Koko

While i was in The Buj, i took out some time to see what was hot in the city, so the night before the wedding a bunch of us went out to a club called Aqua inside Sheraton hotel Abuja.

Aqua is unique in the fact that it is the only mainstream club in Nigeria that features partly dressed pole dancers (if there are any others please correct me). The first time I went there my eyes were literally on stalks, i COULD NOT believe what I was seeing. The funny thing though is they aren't hot Vegas type airbrushed girls, they are gritty, down to their last kobo, hard luck kinda chicks dressed in underwear; I kid you not; not bikinis, but pant and bra.

My next visit there last week they had at least upgraded to bikinis, but still though, any guy who comes away from there lusting after those people must be a very grimy someborri ridden with all manner of STD's.


Denrele was there doing the mostest and WHIPPING HIS HAIR ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE! It was impressive, he definitely deserved a chop knuckle from Willow Smith. These his shoes though, I'm just weak on the subject, how long is this dude gonna keep this up? I guess Charly boy is his idol and that one is still raiding the Salvation Army castoffs at over 50, so maybe he intends to go down that route.


Shalewa, it was her birthday that night. she was also a bridesmaid


Temi, >another bridesmaid


Anwuli


Tinu Adesugba of Sideview Magazine


Bukky


@moji_bank. You'll notice i tagged her with her twitter id, funny story. i tweeted that I was at Aqua, one of my followers @Tkamz was now like "my girl @moji_bank is there too and its her birthday, please give her a happy birthday hug from me". that's how me and the Moji(I'm assuming this is her name) started searching for each other in Aqua so i could deliver her birthday hug. Twitter can be so random sometimes.

NSFW


One of the unsavoury Aqua dancers. I took this photo from a safe distance because I wasn't sure if people were allowed to take pictures of the girls and it wasn't about my camera being broken by an overzealous bouncer at all. The thing though is that theses babes can BUST A MOVE! You go fear gyration, I had to observe for a while to pick up tips, it was a marvel I tell you.

Abuja was loads of fun but I couldn't wait to get back to Gidi, I swear there's truly no place like Lagos.

A couple of days later, I attended the Koko Concert, not in the same class as the Tuface Concert but still fun nonetheless and thats only because i love Mo'Hits. Himself who's not as partial as I am pointed out that they lip-synched THROUGHOUT the entire show, yes I'm ashamed to admit it, but they did, the organization was dreadful too. Now I'm not elitist or anything but I fully believe in getting what you pay for, like most shows the regular tickets were N5,000 and VIP tickets were N20,000. yes N20,000 is quite steep just to go see a bunch of musicians but its not by force, the times I can't afford it I sit my heinie at home. I'll never buy a N5,000 ticket because they are 'standing' tickets, meaning you stand through the entire duration of the concert and thats not just sexy, whereas with the VIP ones you're sat at a nice table and get served small chops and wine etc. At previous shows like Tuface and Basketmouth, the people who paid for regular tickets stayed on an upper floor of the Expo center and all the people who paid for VIP tickets were downstairs so it was all very civilised like, there was no pushing, no shoving.

Mo'Hits however decided to flip it on us and have the private VIP tables upstairs and the VIP seats downstairs in a cordoned, roped off area. The N5,000 people were then told to stand around the stage.....stand, therefore rendering all of us sitting down incapable of getting a decent view. They put all of us on the same floor, it was so annoying because we were now all kinda relegated to the back, I and my brother were just like if we had seen this arrangement before we bought our tickets we'd have paid the N5,00 and endured the standing because we could barely see anything. The nice calm show I had envisioned turned into a screaming, sweaty fest, needless to say I was one very pissed off bunny. I had to stand to take in anything sensible, consoling myself throughout that at least Smnoop dogg was gonna show up at he end to perfor the "Mr. endowed" remix with D'banj.

I got the biggest ELA of my life.

Awon Mo'Hits crew arranged themselves and performed the song, yeah Snoop Dogg was featured on it but not in the flesh. Kai, i was pained, that was what I had been using to justify that N20,000 all this while, Himself had a good laugh at me. D'banj even had the audacity to say he never said Snoop Dogg was coming. Now..I'm a lawyer and I have to deal with implication and full expression every day, especially in laws which are so confusingly written that you can extract 5 different meanings from one line. Therefore to avoid ambiguity it is wise that whoever is making a pronouncement states expressly the meaning he intends to convey so another meaning may not be implied from it.

For about 3 weeks, we had been assaulted on the television and on the radio with ads about the Koko Concert and though it was not EXPRESSLY stated that Snoop Dogg was gonna make an appearance to sing Mr. Endowed, it was however heavily IMPLIED. A reasonable man would deduce from such advertisements that the likelihood of Snoop Dogg coming to Nigeria were very high. Therefore the MO'Hits crew knowingly misled Nigerians and especially TWP into thinking Uncle Snoop was going to be in attendance.....all this grammar i spoke above will tell you that I'm still very bitter about it. Anyhoo, God dey sha, they'll get theirs.


Luckily i had on my gorge jumpsuit by Meena, helped to alleviate the vex a bit