PISSED AND GETTING WORSE BY THE MINUTE

So I left the comfort of my cousin's house today for the horrors of hostel dwelling in Bwari. After a hair raising [it is inconsequential that my real hair is tightly woven to my scalp, my weave rose] drive on narrow roads and hairpin bends, stopping once so that a Fulani herdsman and his cattle [I swear] could cross the road, I arrived at that citadel of learning that is the Nigerian Law School. My room mate hadn't arrived so I welcomed myself by hanging my rosary over my bed, placing my Pieta prominently on the table and spraying holy water liberally around the room. The view outside my window is frankly terrifying and being that the powers that be decided to post me to this village instead of Ozumba Mbadiwe where the sound of traffic would have lulled me to sleep, I refuse to sleep alone in this room without necessary precautions.

I hadn't checked facebook all day or looked at my blog all day either so I was looking forward to a nice long internet session, going through my favourite blogs, reading people's stats on fb especially that of the latest Nigerian to relocate to the US *wink wink*, checking out people's pictures and beefing them heavily, you know, the usual stuff. I unpacked, opened my laptop, clicked on mtn 'fastlink' [an error in naming if I ever saw one] and the bloody thing wasn't connecting, my heartbeat quickened but I tried to stay calm and I tried again, no show. I started to sweat, I shut down my computer and tried it again, for where. I swear blood rushed to my head, the room swayed, I couldn't believe it. I called mtn customer service and spent 13 mins and 28 secs listening to 'true colours' by Phil Collins which I absolutely detest. This being the month of Mother Mary I had been steadily chanting Hail Mary since this wahala started, when like a miracle I saw welcome to facebook on my screen, but i celebrated too soon, the connection is as slow as f**k, as I write this its taken me exactly 8 mins and 17 secs to open this page.

But I'm a Sunday's child so forever optimistic, e go better or else someone's going to get cut. he, he, he.

p.s. would have posted a picture of my room, but its to grotty to even consider, i've tried to beautify it and all but honestly Martha Stewart couldn't do shit in here.