Monday, October 25, 2010


It’s a common occurrence, “Fabulous People at So and So Event” followed by pictures of said fabulous people either candid or posed, from Thisday Style to Guardian Life to Elan to Genevieve to to……you get my drift. Then below them, the people who really have the power, the faceless, pseudonym protected detractors, who size up the people pictured and decimate electronically….THE COMMENTERS.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, definitely but the vitriol I see spilled on many occasions is truly unnecessary. These people commenting go beyond simply analyzing outfits to revealing tidbits about personal lives, insulting characters etc. I read some of the comments I see on websites like 234next or Bellanaija and I’m just amazed at people’s capacity for malevolence and its not just because I have personally being a victim on many occasions. I appreciate constructive criticism restricted to fashion (which is why the guests are pictured there in the first place) but you see comments like “So xxx is still whoring around” or “xxx should stop sniffing coke and get his act together”, childish, silly statements like that which have no bearing on the issue at hand but serve as a vehicle for a spiteful, cowardly, envious person to use the most public platform the person can think of to insult someone who probably doesn’t even know them.

Honestly you have to wonder, what does the way a person chooses to live his or her life have to do with the fact that the person attended a fashion launch or a party. I saw a photo of a popular Lagos socialite once at some event and granted her outfit wasn’t really doing it for me and I saw a lot of comments based on that, then I saw one comment saying “this girl needs to go STFD with her fake accent, dressing like she’s blind”. I actually burst out laughing, how on earth did her accent affect her dress sense? I try to refrain from using the word “hater” but I think it applies in some cases.

Now you may wonder “TWP why you dey vex?”, but yes it is personal. Living in Lagos you truly can’t avoid the paps, people think that when you get photographed and appear in ThisDay Style et al you purposely went looking to be papped.

Honestly my lovers, no be so.

These photographers are everywhere, every wedding, every show, every event and since I do like to attend concerts and comedy shows and fashion do’s unfortunately or fortunately (depends on how you view it) I get papped quite a lot. The first time it happened, I think it was ThisDay Style back in 2006 or so, I was super super excited, I bought like 20 copies and distributed them to fam and friends, but now years on, I’d get the call or bbm “Daks you’re in ThisDay” or “Daks you’re on BellaNaija” or memorably on one occasion “Daks you’re in City People” (O_o) Da hell???? So I’m def more chilled about it now, I don’t even have copies.

That’s why when I see these seriously mean comments I’m always like wow, even if you were thinking it, you didn’t have to say it. Luckily I don’t get too bad a rap from the commenter’s, minor hating once in a while so I’m not really bothered, but what inspired this post were the comments I saw about a really close friend of mine earlier this week. She’s a very visible figure in Lagos so she’s a pretty easy mark, we’ve gotten used to seeing derogatory statements a few times about her but this one was just the height. These people were evil. They forgot they were there to critic her style and went in on her family, her relationship, her morals, her business… it was just so sad.

This is a PSA to those haters (yes I used the word) out there. Bear in mind that when you attack people like this, to you you’re just having a bit of fun but what you’re doing is spreading malicious stories about an innocent person and doing it on the internet is even worse, you’re sticking a permanent record of what you have said for everybody to see.

Cease and desist people.

Love and light xxx

photo from (i guess you can see that already sef)


  1. ignore them haters, you always look great for you and perhaps they are just jealous. I know exactly where you coming from knowing I read Bellanaija a lot and truly don't want you stressing out over stuff like this, ....Ignore them.

  2. Them commenters are especially bad on Bellanaija. but sometimes that is the prize of a public life..

  3. Yeah! Una dog b fat lolllz.

  4. Honestly that website, your liver has to be strong to withstand those comments from all those internet ganagstas and cyber bulllies

  5. I am always so shocked when I read comments on Bella,linda and even notjustok. Granted I laugh at a lot of them because they are rather comical but I also always cringe at some of the comments. Sorry about your friend...:)

  6. I was gonna say that haters online, are just that online punks. They dont have the guts to say that to your face so they hide behind the laptop or desktop screen, but would never say it to your face. internet haters yes but more importantly cowards and punks....don't mind them jor!

  7. this Adaora is very very stupid. oh! u want to lecture people on what to say and what not to say. i dont blame u(isi aki)

  8. ok i do understand were you're coming from my dear but with fashion commentaries thats what you expect. usually the comments are varied and mostly positive . i sometimes find the negative ones even funny coz some people outrightly want to be negative. lets not take this too seriously .people are always gonna talk.its why we have blogs and not diaries. check out my attempt

  9. lol @ you dog is fat.

    @ Myne Whitman a lot of these people didnt sign up for public life. They are regular people who attend events and did not ask for their pictures to be taken.

    These websites should have comment moderation and the administrators should sift through the comments and delete the unnecessary and hateful ones.The internet is an anonymous medium and most people would not have the heart to say some of these things in real life.I don't necessarily think these commenters are haters or go about their lives thinking of the "socialites" on Bella Naija...but since there are no consequences people just runs their mouth and spew crap!

    Sorry about your friend

  10. abeg lets hear word! if u put urself out there, people must talk!if u like quote bible and write an epistle, people will still talk, its caleed freedom of expression, whether positive or negative, go and ask britney and lohan what they are going through not to talk of some of these patch patch wannabe celebrities and groupies in naija, if u dont want ur pic taken then dont pose for it or stay at home!

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