Sunday, August 25, 2013

Guardian Life Article - Fashion A-Z

This is today's Guardian Life article, mostly tongue in cheek...enjoy :)


A is for Accent. From OAPs to “actresses”, your ensemble is not complete without an American/British/Canadian/Australian/Gibberish accent by way of DSTV.

B is for Bend Down Select, a secret fashionista haven

C is for Chanel. Sidekick, lover, friend.

is for Diffusion Line, from DEAT Lagos to CLAN to J Label….serving all your budget fashion needs.

is for Excess, the Nigerian watchword. Go large or go borrow/steal/hit up a sponsor.

is for Fashion Week. Of which there are several of varying credibility.

is for Guardian Life, enough said......

is for Hair of varying ethnicities. The farther the continent, the longer the weave, the more official the status.

Ituen Basi, fashion trendsetter, Ankara re-inventor, your favourite designers favourite designer.

is for Jeans. Starting with Deola Sagoe, 2013 has seen the rise of celebrity denim lines from Tiffany Amber to Agbani Darego.

is for Kate Middleton. She hit the husband jackpot and became a prayer point worldwide.

L is for Lookbook, touted by the talented and talentless.

M is for Mini Markets, made popular by Le Petit Marche. It has spawned several imitators.

N is for is for New Media. Facebook, Twitter, Intsagram, Vine, Keek etc are the new fashion girls’ business cards.

O is for OOTD (outfit of the day), much used and abused

P is for Pull, otherwise known as borrow pose.

Q is for queuing. If you have to, you're nowhere. The A-list sashay past in their Louboutins while the hangers-on stand outside in fashion Siberia.

R is for Replica, the secret behind many a Birkin on a Lagos red carpet.

S is for Stylist, without which many a celebrity may have gone awry. Saving red carpet fashion from Veronica Ebie to Bolaji Animashaun.

T is for Travel, not complete without a complete blow by blow on your favourite social media poison of choice.

U is for Up and Comers, fashions new elite are here to take names and pull no punches.

V is for Versatility.   
Girl A - “What do you do?”
Girl B- “I’m a singer/youth-corper/photographer/model/stylist/plumber/designer/PR guru/Zenith bank big girl/actress/event planner
Girl A -“I need someone who can supply me with at least 3000 barrels of crude a month”
Girl B -“Oh I do that too!

W is for Wedding Saturdays, a day of nationwide tension both feared and anticipated. Aided and abeted by Bella Naija, Aisle Perfect and co.

X  is for Xtra. Outdo your neighbor or die trying.

Y is for yellow paw-paw, artificial or otherwise. The perfect accessory to that borrowed red carpet dress.

Z is for Z-list, a focus group gradually gaining relevance as the A-list slides into extinction.

You can view past editions of Guardian Life online HERE

Photo credit:,,,


  1. Lmao! "P is for Pull, otherwise known as borrow pose." And they stay 'pulling'. Love this post!


  2. LMAO @ versatility, really nice article! Kudos!

  3. Lol adaku u r hilarious. Nice. Chinelo N.

  4. 'V' gave me life right now! hahahahahahahaha..

    'U' yo !!!!!!

  5. LMAO!!! I can never stop saying i love Adaku V is for Versatility...hahahhaa. Keep it up babes. Ngozi.

  6. B is for Bend Down Select????? LMAO and V is the way forward!

  7. I was dead at 'A is for Accent'! Lmao!

  8. lol. thanks for the laughter

  9. This totally made my day... I literarily laughed out loud in my office and everyone wanted to know what i was reading... Anyways i had to read it out loud...Hahaha.

  10. hehe this is hilarious had me rolling esp the accents bit.

  11. Oh my word! TWP has finished me. Tittered at bend down select ,giggled at replica and bellowed out in laughter at yellow pawpaw! Very funny! hahahahahahha

  12. Hahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha

  13. Love it! Very funny... I buy the Punch on Sundays but I might just make the switch over to The Guardian for The Guardian Life :-) xx

  14. Daks'm, you're not well! lol! loved this, it's too purveyor of wit and weaponry..choi!Jisiike nwanne'm..xx

  15. Adaku is cray! I have laughed tonight, K is for Kate Middleton'

  16. Lol @Bend Down and V. Thats d way forward

  17. Hilarious post. Really loved the B, bend down select part, and V got me giggling.

  18. You call it like you see it. That wa so funny.


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