Monday, May 30, 2011

#TeamRelaxer



A couple of weeks ago, 18th May 2011 to be exact, the members of Team Natural were dealt a severe blow when their Team Leader and Mascot, T.Y. Bello publicly revealed that that kinky halo of natural hair you see framing her lovely face is not her own natural hair, but *gasp*.....dare I say it......

A weave!!! *cue clashing cymbals*

Sleek Afro Cool Curl to be exact.

You'll notice I felt a bit of schadenfreude when I heard the news, I cannot lie, the rabid members of Team Natural get on my last nerves. Now you've of your own accord decided to revert to your natural hair....good for you, but why would you persist in telling other people what to do with their own hair. The thing tire me. A day doesn't go by when I don't hear one TNG (Team Natural Girl) insulting girls who get weaves, or the popular phrase "would you believe there are some girls who's boyfriends have never seen their real hair?"*

The amount of Alabukun Nigerian's drink for other people's headache astounds me daily.

I think the most annoying public perception is the general assumption that girls with long weaves...and it has to be human hair o, are "fake", while girls with natural hair are "deep" or "real". This is an issue I've resolved to tackle. How exactly does the kind of hair you have on determine the sort of human being you are? I know girls with gorimapa who are as fake as a 6 naira note and girls who wear acres of human hair, bum skimming sturvs who are the most natural, most down to earth people I've ever met.

The funniest thing about this whole anti-human hair backlash is that its not just TNGs that insult the girls who have human hair on, girls who wear synthetic hair also quench their thirst by having a go at them too. I have seen with my own two koro-koro eyes 2 girls, with this dreadful yaki ish on their heads talking smack about some girl, saying "look at that one with all her fake hair, all these girls that will be doing horse hair wey dey reach their yansh sef, msssccchhheeewww". Now I'm known for minding my business but although these girls had a very "ratchety" air about them I just had to enquire if what they had on their heads was their real hair. "No" they said, "so why are you saying she has fake hair" I said, "isn't your hair fake too". These unfortunate souls actually had the gall to tell me that their own was not the real fake hair, yeah it was a weave but it was not fake like human hair.

People.....denial is a river in Egypt.

These girls meant to tell me that the hair that poor child had on her head which was carefully shorn from the virgin head of an Indian woman and lovingly offered to a temple was fake hair but their own which was probably made from barbed wire and horse tail was the real one........I had no words.

Now I understand that human hair is pricey and to be willing to shell out that kind of money you have to have quite a high opinion of yourself, no use trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear now. The fact remains though, that whichever way you choose to look at it, buying human hair is actually worth the cost. How you say? Well I've only ever bought human hair twice in my life and I bought both sets, 1 full head of Brazilian and 1 full head of Indian hair exactly 3 years ago. The sum was astronomical I admit, but consider the fact that I've been using this hair for 3 years....and I have no signs of slowing down. The hair is still full, healthy, shiny, I swear to you I have not added a single extra track since I bought them. I have one extra full head of Remi Goddess, that I use when I want to do my bangs, and I've been using that for about 2 years now and when I want to get my short hair done, I use like N500 weaves or so. In the past 3 years I've spent about N2,000 on weaves for the short hair......let me repeat myself N2,000 on weaves in 3 years.

I don't hate on TNGs or even synthetic hair girls, so why the constant antipathy towards girls who use human hair?

I actually love natural hair. A few years ago, my friend Nneka went natural and I was so impressed by her lustrous afro locks I decided to undergo the big chop myself......big mistake....huge! Now my darling Neks is part Caucasian and was therefore blessed with "good" hair through her British grandmother. I on the other hand as an Ada Mazi of Arondizuogu of 100% negroid ethnicity....well, not so much. I blithely ignored that fact, I must to be natural utunu.

It was a disaster.

My hair is tough, my hair is the "Before" in bad hair commercials, my hair is so tough that a day after relaxing it, its already going nachy again, the natural hair path was therefore closed to me. I actually stuck it out for almost a year until my hair stylist, the darling Manny of Bobby's threatened to tie me down and relax my hair, he couldnt bear the tears anymore when I tried to comb it. It was unmanageable. I tried all the remedies, shea butter gbogbo ehn gbogbo ehn, nothing for me. One day I just gave up and went and got myself some of that creamy crack, hello straight hair!

My hair doesn't define me, when I had natural hair, when I have my weaves in, I'm the exact same person. I have my hair out (relaxed of course) between weave appointments but its never more than about 10 days, I just don't have the patience to deal with it. I like the fact that when I have weaves on, its so much easier to deal with hair, you just brush and go, it works for me. For instance I detest false nails but do I look at girls who have acrylic addiction as deficient? No. Its just something they like, nothing to do with their personality at all. TNGs on the other hand, once they have that natural hair in, omo, they'll start becoming "conscious", doing spoken word, tying turbans, going to Common and Talib Kweli concerts, acting all extra African, tailoring their personality to fit the kind of person they think they should be because they have natural hair (personally I blame the Hood-Rat Queen Mother of Natural Hair, Erykah Badu).

This post is not an attack on #TeamNatural, its merely a PSA, y'all need to relax, life is not that serious, get a hot comb and some warmed up shea butter, un-kink those tight knots, lie down for a bit, have a mint julep and repeat after me........

I am not my hair
I am not my hair
I am not my hair

Love and light xxx
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98 comments

  1. Abi o, mschewww, Rubbish! Please if you have natural hair its ur personal decision stop breathing down my neck with your smelly breath about my weave abeg. Its ur hair , do what you want to it.

    p.s ust came across ur blog for the first time...me likey :)

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  2. Nne I tire o. My hair is not relaxed, I cut off my relaxed ends because chemicals do not gel well with my hair (color, relaxer...everything). I wear weaves, wigs and my natural curlies however I like. I take great pride in my hair and the fact that I can switch it up.

    I can not understand the whole #Teamnatural #Teamrelaxer #Team Hydrogenperoxide deal. I believe a woman should do the best for her hair, make it look presentable so she can look her best.

    If you think the babble is annoying, you should come to the US. The Black girls here going on about #teamnatural just make me want to slap somebody. One actually told me that I was not a real African woman because I wore a weave. I showed her my passport, told her a few words (that probably hurt her feelings). She has since taken a different stance on approaching people and challenging their African-ness.

    We have bigger things to worry about. Women's rights, domestic abuse, young female maids being raped; we do not have time to worry about what is on another person's head.

    PS-Discovered your blog on Friday...let's just say I did not do any work after lunch.

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  3. O and you best believe, the minute what's her name talked about her weave...I was on the Internet searching for it. It is fly and would work so well with my texture. Shuuuu, who has time to be mad that she has been wearing a weave. I say she should go on with her bad self!!

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  4. Daks, your post is actually very funny/true. I am currently transitioning to natural hair for a couple of reasons. First of all, years of getting perms + weaves has left me thin, weak and badly damaged hair. Going natural isn't necessarily about “tying turbans, going to Common and Talib Kweli concerts, acting all extra African”. Some people actually go natural because they have no choice. Don’t forget that going natural doesn’t mean you can’t have braids or weaves (I still wear them) because you can. I have a natural friend and if she doesn’t mention it no one can actually tell that she is natural. Another reason I decided to go natural is because I am going to have kids soon. Perception of beauty in the media is that you have to be skinny, light skinned and extra long (straight) hair. Believe it or not, this is encouraging self hate with very few people celebrating the beauty of dark skin and natural hair. In Nigeria, whether you agree or not over 1/3 of the ladies “bleach” their skin to be lighter. I am not here to start any sort of debate, what I am simply saying is that I want my daughter to grow up knowing that whether she is light, dark, skinny, natural or relaxed she is beautiful. I personally wont “relax” my kids hair till they are old enough to decide for themselves, not because I am trying to be Afro-centric (you know me Daks, I am far from that) but because I have seen kids grow up with natural hair and I think it is beautiful and healthy. Wrt your experience with natural hair, all I can say is sorry *big hug*. It is a lot easier to transition now because there are so many products and blogs to help with the transition.
    The same way you said people perceive girls with weaves as fake, do you know people perceive girls and people in general with natural hair (this includes locs) as dirty! Yes they do. If people see a girl wearing her natural hair she is immediately perceived as being unprofessional. I start work in July and do you know what my friend said to me “how are you going to carry to your natural hair to ------they won’t take you seriously” I am like for real? Wow!
    Do you also know that people also perceive girls with coloured contact lens as fake? lolss
    About the whole “brazilian/human” hair debate, I have no comment. People had been wearing human hair before it became the new fad in Nigeria. I mean if you can afford it, please flaunt it (I DO)… but in Naij mehn, just to “wear” Brazilian hair people will cheat, steal, fight and do whatever it takes! shuuu, na do or die.
    Finally with the "would you believe there are some girls who's boyfriends have never seen their real hair? comment, 3 guys on my bb actually had this up. I thought it was funny and shocking too, lol. If I see such I will post it, sorry can’t help it (my amebor is 3much).
    So Daks, I understand where you are coming from but C'est la vie! Whether you are relaxed, natural, short, tall, dark, light, single, dating, married, divorced, successful, not-so successful, people will always have something to say. It is best to ignore and get on with your life. So relaxed, natural girls and guys should sing because they’ve got hair issues too…. I am not my hair x3.
    Love you Daks and your gorimapa comment killed me, lolsss ….Maky

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  5. Totally agree with you Viv. Visible hair is dead anyways, whether relaxed, natural, bleached, dyed, growing out of your scalp, or sewn on....Don't understand why there is so much fuss over what people do with these dead cells....

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  6. The thing that pisses me off is when guys, would be screaming about girls with weave,make up blah blah..ok ok if you hate it so much how come you are trying to holla at the chick with the weave with make up on, u hardly see this bros going after the ...for lack of a better word ''deeper-lifeish'' kinda girls o!! Also girls hating on other girls with weaves but they have weaves on them selves ?!?! O_o ...Hypocrisy is a disease, please do get well soon. xoxo

    Please at anonymous what did you say to the person that told you you are not a real african woman, please i need to know so i can know what to say to any creature that comes up to me with that BS, thanks

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  7. SO funny because I was just wondering if TY's hair was her own natural fro, beautiful either way...as for this whole natural/perm thing honestly to each is own, i personally have natural hair but have nothing against girls that perm or choose to wear weaves, heck i just took out my full weave two days ago. You are so very right about this team natural movement and how people go all extra afro-centric just to fit with their new hair!, like its probably the most irritating thing, all of a sudden they start od-ing on turbans and all this "afro-centric" ish, we all just need to be and let be however your hair is.

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  8. I think the biggest false assumption this post is based on is the idea that T Y Bello was somehow the leader of Nigerian naturals or that Nigerian naturals look up to her.

    TY Bello is just or was just another natural person. So it turns out that her hair is a weave, big deal.

    TY Bello has never spoken out publicly to advocate natural hair and has never done anything to support or propagate natural hair in Nigeria other than wearing an ostensibly natural hair style so I'm not sure where this idea that somehow she was some sort of natural hair icon comes from.

    Maybe it's because her fro is particularly big and bouncy and she's a celebrity and so people take notice? I don't know, but as a member of the natural hair community of Nigerians, I personally know that she was not anyone particularly idolised in terms of hair.

    The second false assumption is that people with natural hair think that people with weaves or people who relax their hair are fake.

    Having natural hair is not about judging people with weaves or straight hair as fake but rather is about saying that our OWN hair is JUST AS GOOD as the natural hair of people of other races and we do not need to alter our hair to be like theirs and we do not need proxies (weaves) to stand in for our hair because the hair that we were born with is good enough.

    The third and probably most dangerous and problematic assumption in this post is the idea that because you are Nigerian, your hair is hard or tough or whatever and that your friend's success in growing her own hair was due to her caucasian or non-Nigerian blood.

    This is completely UNTRUE and it bothers me because I have heard it repeated hundreds of times by Nigerians who don't know the first thing about their own hair.

    As a person who (I shall assume based on the general experience of most Nigerian women and girls) has had relaxed hair for most of your life, you cannot reasonably expect to understand your hair and master the best practices for taking care of your hair in one try. Even a second or third or even fourth try might not be enough to make up for almost an entire lifetime or ignorance and false information and bad ideas about your hair.

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  9. Just because you tried to go natural and failed in one or a few attempts is not "proof" that your hair is bad or hard. There is no such thing as good hair and it's disappointing that you believe that somehow the quality of a person's hair can be attributed to the dilution of their Nigerian genes with foreign blood.

    There is no good hair and there is no bad hair. There are only people who know how to take care of their hair and people who do not.

    There are also people who in spite of failure or disappointment stick with it until they learn what their hair needs and people who throw in the towel at the first sign of a bad hair day because they can't or won't let go of the preconceived ideas they already had about their hair.

    Finally, there is no such thing as "natural hair is not for me". The hair that grows out of your head is meant for you. It did not migrate there by magic. The issue is not a rivalry between natural people and relaxed or weave wearers but the question you should ask yourself is "what does it say about Nigerian women when we feel we need to take hair from the heads of other women (who are supposedly equal to us) in order to feel beautiful?"

    Ask yourself what it says about a person if their behaviour indicates that they as they were made is not good enough or does not measure up to other people who were equally made the same way?

    It's not about feeling superior to people with relaxed hair but it's about people who choose their own hair having realised something that people who relax or people who compulsively wear straight weaves have not: If you believe that you in your entirety are not as good as women of other races THE WAY YOU ARE, then you are putting YOURSELF in a position that is lower or inferior to them.

    If you feel that unless you modify your hair to be like theirs you are not as beautiful as they are (and even if you don't say it or actively think it, if you DO it by relaxing your hair or straightening it or compulsively wearing weaves that MIMIC their hair or is MADE of their hair) then you LOWER yourself in relation to them and they win.

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  10. Daks you've seen my hair, very relaxed, very full, all 16 inches of Nigerian human hair!(No white blood in this system) I'm team natural (relaxed natural oh) because for one its damn well cheaper and two it doesn't take as long to manage it as the time it takes to put in weaves or braids (which I still wear maybe twice a year) I used to spend less than 6k a year maintaining my hair, now thanks to a new salon, its up to about 50k a year but I'm not complaining. If you can afford brazilian, indian and co please invest in it. It makes you look classier and is actually easier on your own hair beacuse its tangle free so you're not tugging on the braided base. Natural hair takes a lot of time and patience but don't knock either till you've tried them. To each your own, find what suits you and run with it. Daks this was hilarious by the way!!!

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  11. So yes, Natural hair IS and will ALWAYS be better than relaxed hair or a weave but NOT for the reasons you think.

    Natural hair is better because YOU are worthy as you are. Because YOU should not have to MODIFY yourself to look like them before others can accept you as a human being or find you beautiful as a woman.

    Natural hair is better for the SAME reason your OWN skin colour is better. Because you should not have to modify the colour of your skin by bleaching it before you can be called beautiful.

    Relaxers are bad for the same reasons skin bleaching is bad.

    And believe it or not, and like it or not, you ARE your hair. Why? Because your hair is a part of your body and you ARE your body.

    Your body is the interface through which you interact with the world and what you do to your body, how you treat your body, and how you present your body to the world says a lot about the person to whom the body belongs.

    It may not seem like a big deal because you look at it and say "it's just hair" but imagine if we switched "hair" for any other body part. Very soon the problems become apparent.

    Imagine if it wasn't natural hair but instead it was NOSES.

    Imagine if people with Nigerian looking NOSES were told that they were unprofessional and could not get a job unless they did plastic surgery to get a white or Indian looking nose?

    Or what about EYES? Imagine if anybody with dark brown eyes like most Nigerians have was not allowed to work in a bank or an oil company or was considered ugly and only people with BLUE EYES were beautiful and allowed to be on TV and considered professional?

    The list goes on, but if you make a simple exchange by switching HAIR with any other body part you quickly see why wearing your OWN NATURAL hair and believing it is just as beautiful as Indian hair or Brazilian hair is VERY VERY IMPORTANT.

    As another commenter said, I would never want any child of mine to grown up believing that she was born defective because of the hair on her head.

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  12. Oh wow, TY Bello's hair is a weave? that's amazing.
    This matter is looong abeg, whatever suits whoever mehn! As TWP said, no point taking alabukun for someone else's headache. I love Erykah Badu's afro and would absolutely love to have one like that, but I don't have that kind of patience, so I go to the barbershop every two weeks and get me a cut. It is what works for me, shikena.

    Lovely post, made me laugh. love your blog.

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  13. I'm the anonymous with Nigerian human hair.
    @sugarbelly please sing along with me;
    I am not my hair
    I am not my hair
    I am not my hair
    I am the beauty deep within

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  14. I don't see why you should blame Erykah Badu when even she wears a wig!

    I know natural hair girls come across as waving our hair in everyone's face, but the truth is that most relax-haired and weave -wearing black people are the ones who talk and gosh whenever they see a natural haired girl because they are not used to seeing black women wear their natural hair so confidently.

    I also disagree with you about people tailoring their personality to fit the natural haired persona.... Have you thought that perhaps the people who wear natural hair are naturally more inclined to listen to those type of music, spoken word etc to begin with, not the other way around :-/

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  15. I wonder why some people want to shit in their pants because of hair and bleaching skin...abeg aeg do what suits you , If you are team natural good, stay there it works for you , no need to try to convince me to switch teams if you are team relaxer good for you stay there no need to convince someone else to switch teams.... if you like walking around with a blacker ass than the rest of ur body no problem , kudos to you, if you dont, bleach/tone away to achieve an even complexion...all this yarns has now made me hungry, you see what you have caused ;)

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  16. Just to add to my first comment, I think growing and maintaining natural hair brings a new sense of awareness about who you are as a person of African descent because you have to learn how to care for your curly or kinky hair. I guess that self-awareness sometimes grows to the point where you are suddenly exploring your black identity in ways you've never done before. So, sure, some people might suddenly discover that listening to spoken-word or certain artist such as Erykah Badu, encourage them on their new journey of self-discovery. For some people, natural hair brings a general lifestyle that they start to lose weight, eat organic, and be healthier.

    I wonder what you'll say about those type of natural-haired people

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  17. Well put...I am not my hair!! Especially where natural vs "fake" is concerned.

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  18. I can see most of the comments are neutral, neither for or against, so I'm going to address the two people who are very obviously Team Natural, Sugabelly and Prism.

    Now @Sugabelly, if you follow the general tone of the post you'll notice its one of mild satire. Using TY Bello was as a means to add more humour to what I think is an extremely funny situation, so thats Assumption 1 out of the way.

    Concerning your 2nd reference, to correct you....I never said my own hair isn't good enough, its just easier to manage weaves. Anything to dispel stress from my life, best believe I'll take it.

    Your 3rd reference, yes I firmly believe if a person is biracial, your hair is easier to manage. Why is African hair called "kinky" or "nappy"? Its because IT IS. This is not casting aspersions on African hair but by our own ethnicity our hair is more difficult to manage, biracial afro hair does not require as much care as 100% African hair.

    What you are doing with your comments is imposing your views on other people, choice is subjective. You choose to maintain your natural hair because you think that's the best thing for you, great! I choose not to have natural hair because I don't think that's the best approach for me. Its not up to you to tell me what I should consider beautiful.

    And funny enough you've confirmed everything I said about girls with natural hair, there's no need to get on your soapbox and lecture me about the RIGHT way to do MY hair. I did not, in any part of this post say I don't like natural hair and offer to giveaway free relaxer to all the members of Team Natural. This post was about people not interfering with other people's rights to just do them.

    Natural hair is beautiful, but its not for everyone, learn to respect that.

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  19. @Prism I'm in awe when I see girls with their natural hair but its because I respect the effort that goes into it, not because I think its ugly or becoming.

    That's my very point right, its just hair for Chrissake. When I went natural, I wasn't trying to "explore my black identity", what does that even mean? Maybe I'm wrong and maybe people who decide to go natural were always afrocentrically inclined but I was referring to the ones I knew personally who were my fellow Beyonce and Hip hop lovers and when they had the big chop, came and started quoting Floetry to me.

    I write poetry, I read poetry, I listen to spoken word, I love Common, I'm very aware of my black identity and at the same time I'm a celebrity gossip whore, I love Beyonce and Chris Brown and I rock 26 inches of virgin Indian human hair.

    The hair does not make the person.

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  20. @TWP: I didn't tell you what to do with your hair. Did I say I was coming to force you to go natural?

    And kinky and nappy do not mean unmanageable.

    And by writing this post you were the one who first got a soapbox satirical or not so I think it's okay for me to pull out my soapbox too.

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  21. I'm not sure if your "what exploring black identity means" question is meant to be rhetorical, but I'll go ahead and try to explain anyways.

    The media has set the standard of what is beautiful, professional, and acceptable. And in most cases it's white attributes. This is the reason why in so many studies, you see little black children picking out white children as beautiful and black children as naughty. Some black women don't believe they are pretty enough or good enough just because of their race.. .

    So in some ways having natural hair can be the first step towards self-acceptance....

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  22. @third world profashional you hit the nail right on the head!!! People coming here and being judgmental because you choose to keep your natural hair...who cares!!!! Its YOUR choice, in trying to state your opinion you have just justified a part of this post which brings to light how judgmental some people with natural hair can be. We get it you love Ur natural hair, u make love to it,you get all wet thinking about it, well guess what we don't care, please stop trying to educate us or demean us by bringing all that Afrocentric crap. We all have eyes, if we want to go natural we will and its not because of what u said in that judgmental tone of yours , its because we want to, now go come that Afro!

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  23. I LOVE YOU SUGABELLY....YOU TOOK THE WORDS OUT OF MY BRAIN CELLS. My brain cells were gathering at the town hall meeting to gather the words to comment, but then it took a pause at the sight of your comment.

    I am 100% negroid....or my hair is REMY IGBOLIAN. And many people have approached me to ask me if I was mixed because they can not believe that my hair is 100% black. It is very curly. And there is no such thing as a mixed person's hair. I have four different textures on my head.

    You do not have to have WHITE blood to have anything GOOD on your person. You do not have to have WHITE blood to have beautiful hair, beautiful face, beautiful anything.

    I feel that Nigerians always validate anything and everything as long as the WHITE MAN is present or says so.

    Your friend, Nneka, had beautiful hair because she has beautiful hair period. My cousin is mixed, and her hair is hard as rock, but there are regimens that you have to adopt to MOISTURIZE your hair. Using shea butter is not sufficient. That is like just using cream on your body without taking a shower and a nice soap to clarify your skin and then moisturize it.

    My hair is my hair. I am not defined by it, but it is apart of me. I am natural and I love it. But sometimes, I'd want to rock weaves too. To each his own hustle.

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  24. And please take a look at haircrush, kimmaytube, rusticbeauty (who is 100% igbo), and there are plenty more on youtube. Their hair is waist length. I do not need TY Bello for any validation on my natural hair. She is one amongst millions. These women on youtube are a clear example that black women (without white blood) can grow long natural hair when the necessary regimens are properly adopted.

    Example: Just because you tried proactive product line for acne problems, and it does not work, does not mean you do not have a "good face", or you do not have white blood. That is just wrong. You try other products, tweak your regimen to find out what works.

    And I do not attend common or talib kweli concerts, or do spoken word, that right there is a generalization you have made. You are trying to debunk the actions of the teamnaturals, but at the same time, you generalize all naturals.

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  25. Wow!
    Relaxers are bad? Really?
    They make my life easy, so they are good for me and using them does not mean I believe I was born "defective". I can choose! That's what I think the point of the post is.
    Since "the hair that grows on your body is for you", you can grow your armpit hair,pubic hair and do whatever else floats your boat, but please remember that different doesn't mean wrong.
    Like what you like, but please respect the rights of other people to differ.
    I personally don't like lipstick cos my bottom lip is bright pink and I love it "natural", but I don't try to "convert" anyone cos we all can't be the same. Like Dare sang, Style na style!

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  26. TWP...do not engage Sugarbelly. She lives for this, says she isnt orcing her opinion but yet rams it defensively and offensively. Frankly when I see post from her I tend to skim tru.. a very young intelligent but highly opinonated Nigerian girl who needs to learn how to put a point across respectfully without turning it into a fight. Till she learns that, she will not have my respect. Indeed I am sure she will have a scatching eply to this.

    I have always known TY hair was a weave, and to all who wish to rock an afro good for you. I will stick with my relaxer, works and I like it plus its still my natural hair.

    Finally, I dont know you..but nice one :)

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  27. TWP I never comment, but have to here. Your post was cool, but do know when u write all that, You should be open to people coming in with a counter. Maybe you and sugabelly can both learn from each other. Then you can see what the big deal is. But its your blog, so do you but I hope you do learn from this

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  28. @Third World Professional.

    I think we can have a positive rational conversation about this. Try and answer Sugabelly's question:

    "What does it say about [Black] women when we feel we need to take hair from the heads of other women (who are supposedly equal to us) in order to feel beautiful?"

    Naturals need to be more honest. Taking care of my hair is harder than anything I've done before, even when I used to sit for 2 days doing my own braids in college.

    But the biggest reason that I am natural is that we need more people to demonstrate that black natural hair is not inferior to any other kind of hair. Just like black skin, just like black noses. In an equal world where there was no idealization of Western beauty standards, it wouldn't matter how you wore your hair. But it is not an ideal world. Like it or not, we are all influenced by the beauty standards that place Black women at the very bottom of the beauty ladder.

    Another question. Why are 90% of weaves much *longer* and *straighter* than your natural hair. If it's all about "easier to manage" how is an 18" weave easier to manage than a short 8" weave?

    Not everyone has to fight the good fight. Even when activists were marching with MLK and being set upon by riot police dogs, there were black people who didn't march for their own reasons. They didn't actively participate maybe because they cared for their safety or needed to keep their jobs to feed their families.

    You don't have to march. But please recognize that the cause is real. Why put down those that are defending it? True, some naturals think that they have a direct spiritual connection to mother earth once they go natural. Ignore them. But the more natural people there are, the more Black beauty can be accepted in all its forms, not just those that mimic other races.

    Thanks.

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  29. suga belly please explain what you mean by "the need to modify yourself"? Does this apply to just hair, or all cosmetics? 'Cos if that's your picture then you appear to be fully made up with some bright red lips which I sincerely doubt are African. But whatever rocks your boat...

    Bottomline its the shoe wearer that knows wear it pinches. Unless you are carrying the exact type of hair on Adaku's head, I'm not so sure you should go so far as to insinuate that she does not know how to take care of her natural hair.

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  30. I love my relaxed hair, my brazilian, malaysian, and indian hair....They are so cost effective in the long run and i once tried to go natural, it didn't work out, Natural hair is NOT for me.
    I once had one of these staunch team natural hair girls have a go at me and i clearly told her, is it her head?

    It irks me so much when people think because they are natural, then the rest of us are 'sinners'

    Everyone is entitled to the way they wear their hair, same way people who only eat organic foods are entitled their own choices

    Good post TWP

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  32. Anyone who wants to argue that *mixed-race* individuals don't have different/manageable hair is fooling themselves.

    So mixed people have enviable hair...does that diminish your worth to admit such??

    So you decided to go natural after rocking straight hair for years. Not surprisingly some people will be shocked/surprised at the change...
    And then you get defensive and start carrying #TeamNatural on top your head.

    Does that mean that SOME 100% african people don't have the same hair? No.

    Does that mean their hair is "better" or more attractive? No

    I have a friend that is about an eighth mixed. Her features are 100% nigerian. But she has blue eyes.
    That doesn't automatically make her beautiful, but her eyes are striking. Why? Because its different and unique/unusual.

    This "debate" is the same as arguing brown shoes vs black shoes.
    Everyone has their opinion and everyone has one or two outfits/anecdotes/scenarios where their preference worked wonderfully for them.

    I have to ask, is it by force??

    I know beautiful women with weaves/relaxed hair and I know women with natural hair.

    I love them equally.

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  33. NA WA! Are people NOT reading??? She did not say the entire organisation of I MUST TOH NACH behave weird...and she didnt say EVERY1 that isnt mixed wud have issues keeping their own hair...she was speaking from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and it was SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!
    If what she said wasnt true you wouldnt be here trying to defend the cause for NATURAL HAIR!

    IT IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY! Some people have HEADACHES when they have to manage their own relaxed hair...talk less of when it is natural!

    There is NO need to call her out here... mother earth...african descent...you guys CANNOT be serious...

    Like my green passport and konk yoruba name is not enough...

    Abeg abeg abeg....chill on that...

    I am NOT my hair...neither are you...except ofcourse...you choose to be... BESOS

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  34. And WHY on earth are comments 3 times longer than the blog post anyhow?!?!?

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  35. oh my this is like the best 'Nappy' piece I've ever read so far. its brilliant though i would love to go natural once again when i see the TNGs but i constantly remind myself that that part of me is gone and nappy hair is not for everyone.

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  36. how much is nazareth or jerusalem hair???i want to look like jesus.

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  37. Ada biko gba ndi a nkiti! As a proud Aro daughter, I know what you are talking about when you say kinky wiry hair that refuses to submit to texturizers or relaxers. I steam my natural hair with shea butter every month or so but I wear weaves and braids [prefarably] because they are more manageable. I can not battle with Lagos traffic as well as my 9-9 "oru-oyibo" and still have time to battle my hair into submission. Something has got to give.

    P.S - if you use processed products to treat your "natural" hair, you ain't so natural after all!

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  38. Hmmm, seems team weaves are a bit more militant than they presume. Has it occurred to you that some natural sisters may be reacting to the virulent negativity with which natural hair is perceived in Nigeria especially. For God's sake you guys are the mainstream, those who sport natural hair are in a struggle to get a foot in the door (to get natural hair to be viewed as one of the acceptable myriad options available to our women not something to be hidden away in shame). A little more empathy may be needed I think instead of the mock-fest and a further discouragement of young impressionable girls who very
    well may want to go natural but will be intimidated by the
    alienation they will be sure to get from sisters who are
    already in the mainstream and are the standard of beauty.

    Here's a natural Nigerians experience I read:
    http://www.leaveinthekinks.com/2011/05/it-started-on-my-very-first-day.html

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  39. HIAN! Team natural are struggling again?! Acceptance? LOL...oh dear this is too much!

    It doesnt have to be like this....keep your natural locks if you want...how can you feel comfy in something and someone is still able to make you feel intimidated by it?

    Are you reading what you are writing?

    You alone can allow someone make you feel bad about a decision you have taken...talk less of if its what you are comfortable in!!!!

    Please dont allow the need to put a point across make you not make sense biko!

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  40. I cant believe that some people went through primary school and passed reading and COMPREHENSION!

    Post and Rant and a half Adaku! Mind not these bad bele people that cannot put together a killer post like this and hence decide that this is the forum to air their misplaced agression. ABEG! READ, ENJOY OR SHIFT. #nuffsaid

    MissO ;)

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  41. ***Now people are missing the point of this post. Like Adaku said, it was meant to be funny because truly this "debate" has to be treated as such. I don't know why we choose to make this a hot button debate.

    In any case, natural hair requires a lot of work, point blank period. You cannot do wash and go like other hair types and that is a fact. It requires some good amount of patience and time and if you don't have both then, it can get frustrating. Now, there is no good or bad hair let's just put it out there.

    If you want a weave because you don't have the patience or time or you like the convenience, then go ahead and wear it. Shikena! However, because many of us have been brought up with relaxers, we never truly learned how to take care of our hair *shrugs*

    Now for TNGs, take a chill pill and breathe, it is not that serious. Because I choose to relax my hair does not make me inferior to anybody or does not mean that I hate my hair. Its called freedom. Freedom to do whatever I please as long as it is not affecting anybody. There's no need to try and convert anybody to anyside because you are not in that person's shoes. By the way taste is subjective.
    Rocking weaves or relaxer does not make you any less black or aware of your heritage as rocking the white man's clothing or learning English. Might as well wear your traditional attire and stick to your traditional language. It is a global world. We end up meshing different cultures together and that is why we can coexist as ONE people. No need for team anything. Do YOU.

    End of ....

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  42. @ Sugabelly, I read Adaku's post and I think you are totally missing the point. Each to his or her own, our hair should not be used as a yardstick for our identity. A decision for racial self-acceptance/recognition should not be based on hair.

    Please be open-minded and objective.......your post (Sugabelly's on her blog) validates what others pointed out in the comment section of Adaku's blog. You cannot impose your views regarding the decision to maintain natural hair on others and base it on racial acceptance.

    I am very aware of my worth and my hair is not a definition of it.

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  43. Not only mixed race people have manageable hair. My mom is 100% igbo naija and her hair is SOFT and doesn't need a perm. Infact, relaxing her hair messes it up. I on the other hand have 4b kinky, cry-when-you-comb-it hair. I have no intention of going natural anytime soon. I would have said, in this lifetime but you never know. I have 3 sisters who are natural and one just asked me to go natural with her cos she's still transitioning and i looked at her like she was crazy.

    It's not about perception or trying to conform or which is better. For me, it's all about CONVENIENCE. When i had natural hair in secondary and their first 3 yrs i was in this country, i used to absolutely dread washing my hair and having to comb it afterwards. I know there are products these days to make your hair more manageable but i don't want to deal with that on top of med school wahala. So i will just jejely continue to relax my hair, wrap it every night and comb it out every morning with minimum fuss.

    I don't like braids and most definitely don't like weaves. So it's all about preference and what works for you. We shouldn't turn everything into a huge debate.

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  44. How can you talk about having some empathy, intimidation and virulent negativity? Are you fucking kidding me? Since when did what I have on my hair, body or what I do with my life concern anybody buy myself and Jesus? I carry my natural hair in a pixie cut, even though its relaxed. So don't come here with your team natural bullshit and expect us to feel sorry for you just because your hair Is natural. Did you lose someone? People are dying all over the world and you get intimidated by a blog post? why not go natural all the way and use only sheer butter on your skin too, palm oil soap,no schooling abroad or wearing western clothes or carrying designer bags. Team natural hair my boss's hairy balls

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  45. So what about people like me who have natural hair underneath my hair but stays wearing Brazilian weave..which team am I? LOL! To each his own really.
    I went natural not in an effort to feel more black with myself and feel the need to tell everyone why natural hair is better,but because I was too lazy to get an appointment at my fave saloon to relax my hair. 3months became six and before I knew it I took off a weave and my hair was mostly natural.
    I love my natural hair. unfortunately the weather in Canada does not permit me to wear it often, so I stay rocking Brazilian, Indian and 10$ packs of weave...Its just hair!!!! I need to know when it became this serious!

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  46. p.s I have so many quotable's in this comment section. talking about having natural hair does not make you pretty and its a struggle!! LOL! maybe y'all just have nasty attitudes! I went for my current job interview with twists outs. I got a job. SO maybe you people need to check yourselves. Its hair! I doubt people judge you that much off it..Unless I am a different breed and I am tres lucky!

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  47. It's interesting how so many of the comments here that claim naturals are militant and negative are so incredibly hostile, nasty and negative.

    Why do my comments bother you? I didn't attack TWP, I didn't tell her to go natural, I simply told her that one or a few tries is not enough to throw in the towel.

    For all of you who claim natural people are judging you, you are here doing the same thing. Most of the nasty comments on this post are by pro relaxer 'anonymouses' who are being extremely hostile and defensive.

    And your comments are just a small example of the general attitude in Nigeria to natural hair. Naturals are not hostile or negative or judgmental of Relaxed heads; it is mostly you who attack and are judgmental of us.

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  48. Very interesting post. The comments are just as interesting. I understand that you don't mean to come off as attacking women with natural, but some elements of this post come off as an attack and generalization. Maybe I'm just being extra sensitive because while I'm not into teams, I've been natural for about 9 years and wear my hair out 90% of the time. I'm a neutral natural who believes that to each his/her own but it seems you just lumped everyone into one big box. I will say that out of all the pro-natural comments, I co-signed with Maria the most. And she's right...natural hair is work, but I hang in because I love it, hard work and all.

    I don't judge women who choose to perm/weave it up or see it as fake. Although, I must say that it rubs me the wrong way when I hear some women say that they don't feel as beautiful/attractive without a weave. Note that I didn't say permed hair o, I said a weave. But that's just my little thing that I internalize i.e. I won't preach to you about it.

    Another commenter said that maybe the TNGs are reacting to the way natural hair is perceived and I gotta agree. From my siddondeylook angle, I've seen more than enough disparaging comments and 'jokes' about natural hair so it's not like the militant TNGs are throwing rocks at entirely innocent weave/permed chicks. It goes both ways.

    On a final note, like Maria said...we can have a rational discussion about this. I know that folks think Sugarbelly can be extra, but she brings up some very valid points without being insulting. Not everyone is going to agree with the original post...it's just a good debate going on so there's no need for any of you commenting to get borderline insulting up in this piece. It's not a fight abeg. On that note, I'm out for now.

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  49. @bitch alert
    Struck a nerve did I? It's the hypocrisy I'm pointing out. I think it's a lie that the attacks are one-sided. To each his own but when natural hair as a style option is vilified when in a normal world it should be seen as normal (amongst the myriad styles including weaves & permed hair black women wear) then there's certainly a problem with us as a people.

    Now you can carry on guns blazing responding to those
    who you perceive as attempting to convert you that's your
    problem hun.

    I'm usually quite shocked at the hater-ade, maybe cos I've
    never met these militant natural hair nazis. They are so
    minuscule in number they don't even feature one jot in my
    world. The response to them to me is OTT, if you think you
    have it bad from them, the reaction to naturals in our world
    is ten times worse. (I'm team natural hair & yes I do wear wigs/extensions&weaves once in a while like the girl in the link I provided). Anon 4.07am

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  50. Sugabelly na wa for you.. Who are you to tell me or anyone for that matter that natural hair is better? Abeg rest for dere jor..

    About "YOU should
    not have to MODIFY yourself to look like them before others can accept you as a human being or find you beautiful as a woman" Oh pls shut up already! Can you even hear your self?
    All this your yarns are just not called for because all TWP was trying to say, to my best of knowledge is that, some people with natural hair make nasty comments about how girls who wear weave are so fake. And its true!I too have encountered it.. Some of these babes will now even start disturbing people by constantly updating their bb status and facebook message saying "Oh my God, I love my natural hair, why can't Naija babes be Natural" so guys can see them as Miss Natural Beauty! Hisss!I bet if i decide to go and check the babes hair sef na tracks I go see.. Liar Liar!

    Anyways, sugabelly, just so we are clear, as long as u r using makeup on dat ur face, u r modifying urself ok. So if I decide to wear weave, reshape my nose, bleach my skin and do what ever rubbish you listed on that ur comment, it is my business.. So give it a rest. And next time when you want to make a comment,look at yourself first, and worry about how long you should take wearing your own makeup and treating your hair with fake relaxer..

    PS: TWP, Nice topic btw.. Its me sarah.

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  51. Judgmental of "natural hair"? Nhia! Well I guess everyone is entitled to her own soapbox. Its just hair! You are not that important!!!!

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  52. Lol this sugabelly babe is funny...oh well...
    OYA everybody....SCRAPE YA HEAD! LEZ ALL START FROM BEGINNING!

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  53. I thought the post was funny. The only reason anyone will get upset about this post is if they are one of the ones that sing about this team natural thing. For those of us who are not team natural, it usually feels like the thing is being pushed in our faces on twitter. TWP just felt the need to come write on her blog about it. Plus if you read well, she didn't attack everyone with natural hair. She's just saying it's not for everyone, which is true.

    And who's that one talking about us with relaxed hair not knowing our heritage? Biko, ask one of those "sistahs" with natural hair if they know their heritage anymore than that white girl we've been seeing all over speaking Yoruba. My short relaxed hair makes me feel awesome! My friend with her natural curly absolutely beautiful hair feels just as great maybe even better!

    Plus, take a chill pill Sugabelly!!!

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  54. @sugabelly, keep quiet dia! before you open your mouth, i need you to take off that fake hair extension on your head, or are those braids your natural hair? Olodo!
    Go and paint your face the way your ancestors did and stop copying oyibo people and their red lipstick - did your ancestors invent red lipstick? Finally stop wearing 'oyibo' clothes. stick to our traditional (natural) clothes.
    We live in a global world okay? please take a chill pill and stop this nonsense over hair. People go bald, have chemo...etc it is not a big deal! It does not define you nor does it make you a better person.
    The only thing i'll say against it, is that naija we too dey over do. When you overdo you look fake e.g too much make up makes you look like a masquerade, same goes with too much weave, haba make una fake hair no catch fire o! be moderate in your ways. Same goes for you natural hair militants!
    I wear my hair natural by the way as in Gorimapa hehehe

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  55. I totally understand where Suagbelly was coming from and understand perfectly that TWP was just been sarcastic or as some of you claim, funny, in her post.

    @ LohiO, you got a job in Canada with a twist out because white people are more accepting of black people with their natural hair (that is why white adoptive parents DO NOT RELAX THEIR BLACK CHILDREN'S HAIR). In many parts of the world, more black women who are natural are more likely to marry a white man than a black man because they are more receptive to natural hair. Most black men prefer long, straight hair, which sends the message that beautiful black curls/KINKS/NAPPY/COILS that naturally grows out of our head is not beautiful.

    I have a cousin (mixed cousin- white n Nigerian) who went to Nigeria with her natural hair, to say she was verbally abused is an UNDERSTATEMENT. She was told she was ugly. She was told she will not find a husband. Men did not approach her. Not because of her attitude but because of their perception of beauty, which is straight, long hair.


    It may be just hair to many, but it is more of a SOCIAL issue that we are not seeing or refusing to see its impact. I love my natural hair. I have been taunted every time I go to nigeria about my natural hair. I can rock weaves or wigs, but I still wear my natural hair.

    TWP's posts maybe funny, but someone will not understand it as funny and take it as a reinforcement that their natural hair is not beautiful.

    Sugabelly was simply giving an alternative. She, in my opinion, was not being militant, just expressive of her view on natural hair.

    @ nectar_imperial, mixed people do not have manageable hair or "good" hair. What do you say about the likes of Lenny Kravitz then? There are many mixed people who have hair like him. It will irk you if I tell you that my hair is more like Alicia Keys (not straight) and I am 100% igbo. No mixed blood. Nothing. There is NO SUCH THING AS MIXED HAIR. That is ignorant. It is like saying that is a such thing as white peoples nose. There are blacks in Nigeria with straight nose, but it is more common trait among whites. Its like saying there is such a thing as mixed feet, or knees. I hope you also know that there are igbo people who are on the verge of looking whites with no white blood in them. There is no trait entirely attributed to race, it may be common amongst said race, but it is ENTIRELY attributed.

    @ bitch alert, your comment is almost ignorant for lack of a better word. I did not understand the correlation between wearing natural hair (naturally given by God) and schooling abroad. People school abroad because of the low standard level of education in Nigeria. Please educate as it is easier to use curse words and RANT instead of educating someone on your piece of opinion.

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  56. Team natural!Team relaxed!...i'm over this 'us and them' attitude.Sigh,cant we all just get along?whatever happened to you do your thing and i'll do mine?
    The attitude to natural hair in Nigeria is (for want of a better word)funny.I've taken to caring for my hair at home lately because everytime i go to the hairdresser's,she spends half the session begging me to relax my hair,but i wont,for my own good reasons.
    My hair is 100% natural,and very hard to manage,but i love it like that.However,i'm not averse to switching it up with a weave every once in a while, just because i can.To each her own jor.

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  57. i m teamnatural bt i v brazilian hair covering my natural curls ryt nw....bite me....lol
    i v bin rollin with laughter,dese comments r hilarious!

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  58. have no clue who she is.

    *sigh* the whole hair issue.

    Ive been natural, Ive worn perms, Ive worn wigs, Ive worn weaves, I just do whatever i feel like.

    Now my hair is inbetween natural & permed, because it breaks when its permed, but its in a weave.

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  59. This is funny... I just enjoyed reading the article and ensuing comments and laughing.

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  61. Wallahi Nigerians r d most hypocritical ppl i hav ever met,.,,.mtchewww,.,,.no ,.,.stop wearing trousers, pants, and tops and transition 2 iro nd buba as well. This *teamnatural bullshit is really really doin my head in. I’m 100% Nigerian.,.,Fulani,.,nd my hair is 3b,.,3c naturally curly,..i have to put rubber bands at the tips of my hair after braidin because it looses by itself,.,,ppl alwaiz asking if m mixed nd i have never in my entire lyf walked with a chip on my shoulder or felt d need 2 give d chick beside me a side eye just because she was rockin 22inch Indian hair,.,it is her CHOICE! ‘her ‘being d operative word not ‘’YOURS’’, thus u have no business preaching or telling her how 2 handle her hair! D funny thing is all these team natural hair preachers were once permed or weave wearers nd they suddenly feel it is their duty to preach nd feel superior to those who haven’t joined their bandwagon. ,.,trust me if u have been natural all ur life,.,u wudnt fell d need to attack those with perms or weaves because it really is not that serious. I once had this chick ask if she cud hug me @ this very random place,.,i asked why nd ole girl is like nd i quote ‘’i get really excited seeing naturals like me,.,nd i get really proud of us,.,.we really r taking over nd we make dem weave wearing bitches look like trannyz’’ my mouth was literally left hanging,.,like for real,.,is it now a cult or something,.,why cant u just love ur natural hair without d hate for weave wearers. Its ppl lyk them that make us look bad,.,besides u don’t know me from adam,.,nd no just because u r natural like me doesn’t make us a team,.,u r you nd i am me. Shikenan!stop d hate ,.,spread d love,.,.IT IS ONLY HAIR,.,.! mi yetti nd sey yawtike,.,.lol Fulani for thank u nd bye!
    Ps lurrvv ur blog sweetie!
    Neesha!

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  62. This is so sad. To be honest, I can't believe some "#TeamNatural" girls come here and say girls with relaxed hair don't love themselves, or are trying to emulate other races? Look at your religion? Is Christianity/Islam derived from Nigeria? Look at the language you speak, is English originated in Africa? Look at all the technology you use...are they all from Nigerians? WTF?! Thanks to dishwashers, people who don't have the time/energy to hand wash dishes, can just throw them in there and go...same with weaves/relaxers. Hair weave/relaxers are really just a way to make life easier for those who don't want to deal with it, because IT IS WORK for most.

    DUDE, white people wear weaves too! Some perm their hair to be curly! They tan too! How come you won't say they are trying to be black? Or they don't love themselves. It's just PREFERENCE! CHILLLL!!! I don't think I can EVER be natural because I am a very lazy person when it comes to my hair and I NO GET ENERGY to be doing super-man conditioning and moisturizing and all that to my hair all the time. I like as little maintenance as possible and relaxers and weaves give me that. I ADMIRE girls with natural hair. I think it's beautiful...I WISH I could maintain my natural hair because it is the healthier choice, but I know I can't. You guys just need to calm down. Wearing a weave/relaxer is not a form of self-hate in anyway. Not in 2011. Jeez!

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  63. My hair is not relaxed, I wear braids often, I wear weaves often, I rock my hair out often. I am 100% Naija, the only mixture is between tribes. I loved my hair when it was permed but decided to explore my curlies and sometimes coils. I am a professor and a programmer. I have attended interviews with braids, weaves, my hair and cornrows (yes two step, all back). My confidence has carried me through (and the grace of God of course). I do not have a problem with men either. The ones that do not like my current state of hair are not allowed to pass go.
    Will I deny that there is a perception that people have when you have unrelaxed hair...nope. Personally, I take great pride in my hair and it gets more adoration than upturned noses. It is long and beautiful, a testament that Naija girls can have long, healthy hair that has no chemicals.

    Now, I did not take offense to Adaku Nwanne's piece at all. I cracked up because I saw where she was coming from. TNGs (I hate that label lol) are so quick to come out guns blazing about natural hair. Why don't you simmer down for a quick second biko nu. If you want to debunk the stereotype that our hair is horrible, then do it from your own corner. Keep your hair looking moisturized and luscious. Why do you think the $500 weaves have appeal, because they look nice and pretty. There are a few girls in my sphere of influence that I have caught saying they went natural because Anon Oma could do it and my hair looks good. I did not have to mount on my stool and condemn their choices. If my goal was to "convert", there is an example of conversion without acting all militant.

    The only issue I have with our women is unhealthy hair and receding hairlines caused by excessive ponytailing, weaves, tight braids etc (yes even TNGs have receding hairlines).

    TWP, thanks for letting us comment on your post. Keep the posts coming. You are a fab woman.

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  64. When a black girl bleaches and has booty and breast implants, she's fake and has low self-esteem or even ashamed of being black. When a girl straightens her hair with potentially harmful chemicals and wears weaves etc, it's out of convenience. What?

    If we're going to say someone is fake for having cosmetic surgery that gives Caucasian features, then we should also call ourselves fake when we put on weaves that mimic caucasian hair etc.... #justsaying

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  65. @Prism: Please, in the same breath of your last comment, be sure to include all other races that do the same. White girls with boob and butt implants who tan, Asian girls with eyelid implants, etc. Kai! People are so quick to condemn Black girls. "Low self-esteem this and that". It's not always the case.

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  66. But it is out of convenience, is it not? Does it or does it not take WORK to maintain beautiful natural hair?! More work than it does to relax the hair or have a weave in. You guys fail to see that point. IT IS convenient. It's 2011! People can do whatever they want to their hair! CHIIILLLL!!!!!!!

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  67. SMH Only black people have stupid debates like this. Natural, relaxed...who cares?! Natural doesn't mean you're more self-loving and relaxed doesn't mean you hate yourself. Stop this please!

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  68. DAMN

    I have followed your blog but never responded,babes I heart you with a big fat BB heart emoticon thingy.

    All these babes who suddenly "find" themselves after deciding to go natural,get on my left tit.

    If at 33,I let something as minor as my hair,irun,HAIR define me,then I have SERIOUS and DEEPER issues.


    Ahn ahn,kilode,YOU have chosen to go natural,GOOD ON YOU,
    But i choose for convenience sake to wear weaves....SO WHAT?

    The funny thing is that some of us weave loving "sell-outs" don't even have the cream crack habit-I DO NOT retouch my hair EVER.
    Do i then go around,turning my nose up on my cream crack addict friends? NO.
    WHY?
    Because IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS.
    It's a choice thing...whether a babe or bobo decides to carry dreads,nachy hair,Afro,shorn locks,100 inches of hair shaved off Eskimo orphans..SO BE EFFING IT.

    How are these people different from those nutters who accost one and pour paint on one for wearing fur?(happened to my mama in London,and I slapped the sh* t out of the offending tree-hugger)......

    NOBODY has a right to tell or even insinuate to another person that their so called INDIVIDUAL choices are flawed all because you have oh so arrived in some state of superior consciousness to your blackness or your roots.

    Anyone who looks at my chocolate complexion and still believes that because I have 20inches of Peruvian hair attached to my skull,means I'm trying to be a Peruvian babe should suck my d*ck for real.


    You have made YOUR choices,NOW let me live with MINE and whatever consequences might follow.

    Until then LONG LIVE THE WEAVE

    ;-)

    T.

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  69. Ohhhhh @sugabelly please SHUT UP!

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  70. "I on the other hand as an Ada Mazi of Arondizuogu of 100% negroid ethnicity."

    Haha! Daks, best believe I just fell in love with your blog.

    And this post is spot on... I personally don't care for the texture of African hair and my natural hair is SOFT and CURLY. I like deep waves and straight hair (Sue me). It's a thing of choice. FYI every one touting the forceful natural hair movement - women of other races straighten their hair (Kindly ask GHD how much they make yearly) and they also wear hair extensions. I suppose they are also not proud of who they are abi... Calm your spirits down abeg.

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  71. Oooh oooh I forgot to add... I use Shea butter as body lotion; black soap and I ONLY wear make up when I am going to social events. So out of curiosity, am I any less fake now or more African for you? :)

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  72. In the last few months I've found myself in the team natural. It's not too difficult, just boring. When I had my hair relaxed, I was a fan of afro weave-ons, so...

    Final thoughts, just do you.

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    1. Maybe it's boring because you haven't learned what to do with it? You need to give yourself time, after all like most of us, I am sure you permed your hair since you were little. You learned how to take care of relaxed hair over many decades. You won't learn how to take care of natural hair overnight either. It's like dating. You have to get to know one another.

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  73. @ Anonymous 11:08Am

    As a Nigerian, it's easy for you to talk about knowing who you are, your heritage, etc. But the story is different for some African American people

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  74. Please, let us all hug each other, drink sprite and sing "i am NOT my hair" This is actually not that serious
    Love & Peace

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  75. Any one for a brazilian blow dry?: I know places with good deals.
    God loves us all natural hair, fake hair, gay, transgender or whatever people wanna be these days.
    Take heart guys, you are not more special cos ur hair is natural nor are you any more beautiful because you wear 26 inch weave on. Although i have to admit that this weave on has helped some wor wor people to be fine small. Sugabelly pity them, not everyone has the confidence to wear their hair natural - just take your self as an example: you always wear fake hair hiding under braids. Even you cannot be 100% natural. It's not easy, we all want long tresses and locks braids or weave on.

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  76. @anon 1:06pm, yes I agree that my heritage contributed to my self-awareness and I agree it is not the same for African-Americans. But my awareness did not stem from my hair, my parents instilled it in me. I grew up here and could have been influenced by external forces but I was not, which is why I believe my hair is not and will not be a part of my identity.

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  77. Daks,nne its like you don open pandora box with this post ooo,as a guy can be real for a minute?95% of guys i know dont really care if you wear your natural hair or weave, as long as it looks good on you and tidy.
    I f you want to do be Team natural, cool, if you want to wear peruvian,brazilian or indian hair that is also cool with us.

    At the end of it all your hair is not you.



    http://praizhouse.blogspot.com/

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  78. i fail to see how natural hair means you love yourself, or you aembrace your african hritage,. that is the most bull shit i have heard this year.

    My hair is natural by choice. No need to shove your belief down any one's throat for God''s sake. Be you and do you

    It is not that serious

    And we are not our hair

    Jeez

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  79. Please can the TNG's support Solange Knowles and buy her records? Thank you

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  80. If your skin color is a part of your identity, then your hair is also a part of your identity

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  81. The post was a funny read, even if i think, its just excuses for wearing the weave.
    Adaku says a weave is easy to care for, excuse me, did u just say so??? the care and time I see my friends who wear weaves put into keeping the way it always looks, keeps me off it forever.

    At the end of the day, you do what you must, whether relaxed, natural or weave.
    No need to be namecalling just cos you wear a weave and get stereotyped, no one put a gun to your head and forced it on your head.
    Wear your weave with pride,just the naturals wear their's as well. But pls make sure u pick up all that hair you shed when u come around me, thank you.

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  82. PEOPLE BELIEVE IT WE ARE OUR HAIR OR SHOULD I SAY IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF US BUT IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL,RELAXED OR NATURAL IT DEPENDS ON YOUR MOTIVE.

    SUGABELLY YES I SEE YOU ARE INTELLIGENT BUT REALLY YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CONVEY YOUR OPINION TO PEOPLE WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE YOU ARE PUSHING IT DOWN THE PERSON'S THROAT AND NO BEING RELAXED DOESNT MEAN ONE IS TRYING TO COPY THE WHITE PEOPLE.

    PRISM EVER HEARD OF BARIATRIC SURGERY? YOUR POINT WITH TRYING TO RELATE COSMETIC SURGERY AND RELAXED HAIR IS SO INVALID.

    AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:TO EACH HIS OWN

    p.s i dont read any of your blogs (ada,suga,prism) so this is just my fresh opinion.

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  83. 100% natural waist length Remy IGBO hair here reporting for duty SUH!!
    And that's pure 'NEGROID' hair without a trace of caucasian blood to dilute things, for your information.

    It took me a few good years of hard graft to master this head of mine, but it was worth every minute. It means I'll never be forced to rob a weave hair shop to keep some hair on my head (like some people are starting to do in the U.S) or be tempted to scalp passing brazilian or indian women who accidentally fall asleep in my company. Lol.

    So long haired lovelies of all nationalities are safe in my company cos I'm the most lovely of them all!!

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  84. Very funny article....in all fairness you did refer to your friends part Caucasiab hair as 'good hair' which logically means that 100% Afro hair is bad hair. Its all in print, otherwise interestibg read!

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  85. kai kai...this hair debate is old. in the end, i say do whatever works for you. as long as you look good, your hair is in good condition, and you`re happy with yourself. the end!

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  86. TY even texlaxes her hair.
    I was natural for two years, relaxed two months ago and I am now transitioning. The first time
    I big chopped,I went moromoro (fade)as in, scalp was showing.
    Natural hair, if you do not have loose curls is HARD.I love my hair so it was no biggie.I am tired of dealing with all hair and the neurosis.As for the opression that Sugabelly and co talk about. I roll my eyes cos all these children do not know what oppression is. In Nigeria, you have to have a tough skin and a strong sense of self.

    I was in Nigeria for 3 months last year; Port-Harcourt,Abuja and Warri and no random person called me names. Instead in PH I kept running into people with locks or neat twists. Even in the market, I bought nail polish from a lady in her late 20's or early 30's who had done her locks herself, they were about 4 inches, she sells in the MARKET, where you will hear all the unsolicited advice that you can bear.She said her man loved her hair. Even when I asked other naturals at the supermarket and at the bookshop at the movie theater I was told to go to a salon that SPECIALIZES in NATURAL HAIR, in PH!
    All these less traveled kids and their picture on the entire Nigerian natural scene baffles me.
    Of course, I got the "Auntie u no go relax"? "why u no wan relax"? "OK relax small make e soft". I have 4c-z hair and it is thick.Funny, the most random comment I got was for a twist-out puff when I came back, at an intersection, a Jamaican lady said "your hair is so thick", I'm not sure if it was a compliment or not so I took it as one,lol.

    Some of these natural girls have other issues,the hair na cover up. A lot of them have non-black SO's, so their hair is a security blanket, the most visible thing to say "I am STILL black".

    If you are Nigerian, do whatever you like to your hair as long as it is healthy,and form you own opinions. Do not feed into the histrionics, you do not know what else is driving these girls. A woman knows herself and is secure with herself,fried, dyed, hair or no hair.

    As for Sugabelly, I notice that you wear LONG, FAKE braids as your protective style. Seems to me you want the "white girl swing" also.I have read you advocate kinky or curly weaves,over straight hair. Why then do you need your straight braids to be longer than your current hair length,is your length not good enough? Besides, you do not need to have fake hair to protect your hair from winter, I had 2 winters of no fake hair, so I should know.

    I relaxed my hair because I could, I am transitioning because I can and if the summer becomes too hot, I just might gorimaparize the hair again, because I can. It is my hair, not so? I am a beautiful Nigerian woman with hair OPTIONS. Don't you love it?

    P.S. Relaxers are good for one thing; getting rid of hair lice, wouldn't you know it? Shout out to village hair lice, y'all are some rapidly multiplying bad asses.

    Extreme Weather Lady.

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  87. Wow, this has to be the post with the most comments on here? Wanna know why? because TWP for the first time in the history of this blog posted opposing views from her readers. Not just people hailing her. If this blog remains like this maybe I will start coming back here. For once it interesting. You wouldn't post this as usual, but I know you read it for you to delete it. Cheers =)

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  88. C'mon guys...put bac d talons. Such display of passion...if only we could channel d enery to more pressing issues like poverty & abuse....smh!
    Ohwell, since y'all hav got me started already...
    Basic 1 - I AM NOT MY HAIR-never define me by what I hav on my hair...it doesn't count as much!
    Basic 2 - U R U, I AM ME-u r neither ryt nor wrong, same goes for me...we r just diff people with diff tastes!
    Basic 3 - WE ALL R BEAUTIFUL & UNIQUE-& nope, it's not cos of what I have on my hair...true beauty comes from within!
    I'm beginning to preach...guess I shld stop here. B4 I go tho...LOVE & TOLERANCE makes all d difference...so let's OD on them!!!

    Ada Mazi of Arondizuogu...I ga-egbukwa mmadu! Thumbs up...u r simply hilarious!

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  89. omggggg u hit d nail on d head. u forgot to add india arie to d crew of naturalistics, grass eating, nature observing celebrities. i tire o. i must be bohemian or die! you have to be an achokwam girl to survive the weave beef. pls to those who cant afford indian hair anc co,LADYSTAR is a gud option. its 1,400. leave us in peace. daks u deserve an award biko.

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  90. hahahahaha biko, all this for hair?

    Emmm, I missed the last giveaway and only came back to ask when the next giveaway is coming up. I have a list of things I "can like" to acquire from you! *Wink*

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  91. errr...all these comments for hair alone?I love my natural hair but i'm sure God didnt give researchers the wisdom to come up with relaxer for nothing. one of the earliest childhood memories i have is making my hair with fanta;if the fanta finished....anyways,my mom was wise enuf to get my hair relaxed in primary school and even that hasnt helped.Truth is,i'd rather take my hair looow than carry my natural hairr(yeah i've done the almost-skin look.)
    However, i do not own one of them russian,brazilian or cotonou hair tins but when i can,i most def will.
    If you choose to go all natural,may you have the grace to carry it and if you choose to buy one of the hair thingies,may you also have the race to carry it well.

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  92. I don't know if anyone has said this but have you considered the health effects though? Relaxers have been tested and there is a strong correlation with its use and really major health issues that no one talks about because the health of black women isn't a priority to the world.

    There is the aesthetic argument and the economic argument which i won't bother with because frankly its not my business. But consider your health. Do your research. I see dealing with my natural hair as the same as buying condoms (giggles). Sex doesn't feel as good but it protects against unwanted pregnancies and STIs. Future brain cancer and other insane effects we don't know about are real. Your skull is not made of stone, my sister. There is no point in dousing it in harsh poison in the name of beauty. You can still do like Ty Bello or Beyonce and wear your wigs but say NO to relaxers.

    Goodluck and God bless oh I think you are gorgeous BTW.

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  93. We'll be doing a show on this on Saturday, June 18th 2011 @ 10am U.S. Eastern (3pm Nigerian Time and 3pm GMT). Hope you tune in.

    Co-hosts: Sugabelly and Otas.

    Link: http://bit.ly/mp0Ps6

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  94. Hi girl, i just saw this ur site for the first time today through bella naija. i must say u are cool and natural and i like u. i see u are rocking life and sometimes i wish am in ur type of shoes but all the same , i thank the Lord for where i am. centica006@yahoo.com is my email address. will i hear from u?

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  95. The problem is not with personal choice or personal preference of hair style. The problem is the message we collectively send to the world as black people...we would rather straighten our hair with relaxers or hide it under weaves all the time than learn to take care of it.

    It sends the message that we do not like our hair, that we do not feel it is beautiful/professional-looking, etc. You have no idea the effects of this message on the perceptions of others. Things are not as easy as they seem. In Nigeria, I have been insulted and laughed at countless times for wearing my hair natural, both from family members and strangers. I was called a disgrace to my family by someone for carrying "ugly", "rough" hair around.

    What does that say about our society? It shows that no matter how much you want to trivialize the natural hair discourse, there really is a problem in the way we perceive our hair type and they way we treat those with natural hair. I love your post because it forces people to discuss natural hair. This is what we need.

    Whatever your choice is on styling your hair, please do not disparage those who are natural. The same goes for those who are natural. We are all black, we are all African. We are all contributing to the black identity whether we like it or not.

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  96. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  97. People its JUST HAIR....ive said it before on youtube...do whatever the heck you want to do with your hair...cut it..burn it..dye it..braid it..weave it up....so what if the media has set standards...you dont have to live up to them! Just like how we blame the media and hold tv responsible for not educating our children...it is NOT THEIR JOB...it is your job as a parent or role model to instill that confidence in your children. The media isnt going to change.
    Black Identity does not EQUAL natural...its full of diversity. Just like some africans hate it when people consider them african american..claiming there is a difference....\
    So if you're natural..which I am...good for you..clap for your self...but dont have the audacity to presume to tell another person how to take care of their hair...disregarding their personal taste/choice/circumstance in life...not everyone is a skilled hair person..I am not..which is why i went natural..i could not afford to pay to do braids and etc on my hair. So it stays as an afro..it wasnt becoz am trying to send out some ridiculous message that am black and whatever..my african BLACK skin tone says it loud and clear.lol.

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