Monday, May 30, 2011
A couple of weeks ago, 18th May 2011 to be exact, the members of Team Natural were dealt a severe blow when their Team Leader and Mascot, T.Y. Bello publicly revealed that that kinky halo of natural hair you see framing her lovely face is not her own natural hair, but *gasp*.....dare I say it......
A weave!!! *cue clashing cymbals*
Sleek Afro Cool Curl to be exact.
You'll notice I felt a bit of schadenfreude when I heard the news, I cannot lie, the rabid members of Team Natural get on my last nerves. Now you've of your own accord decided to revert to your natural hair....good for you, but why would you persist in telling other people what to do with their own hair. The thing tire me. A day doesn't go by when I don't hear one TNG (Team Natural Girl) insulting girls who get weaves, or the popular phrase "would you believe there are some girls who's boyfriends have never seen their real hair?"*
The amount of Alabukun Nigerian's drink for other people's headache astounds me daily.
I think the most annoying public perception is the general assumption that girls with long weaves...and it has to be human hair o, are "fake", while girls with natural hair are "deep" or "real". This is an issue I've resolved to tackle. How exactly does the kind of hair you have on determine the sort of human being you are? I know girls with gorimapa who are as fake as a 6 naira note and girls who wear acres of human hair, bum skimming sturvs who are the most natural, most down to earth people I've ever met.
The funniest thing about this whole anti-human hair backlash is that its not just TNGs that insult the girls who have human hair on, girls who wear synthetic hair also quench their thirst by having a go at them too. I have seen with my own two koro-koro eyes 2 girls, with this dreadful yaki ish on their heads talking smack about some girl, saying "look at that one with all her fake hair, all these girls that will be doing horse hair wey dey reach their yansh sef, msssccchhheeewww". Now I'm known for minding my business but although these girls had a very "ratchety" air about them I just had to enquire if what they had on their heads was their real hair. "No" they said, "so why are you saying she has fake hair" I said, "isn't your hair fake too". These unfortunate souls actually had the gall to tell me that their own was not the real fake hair, yeah it was a weave but it was not fake like human hair.
People.....denial is a river in Egypt.
These girls meant to tell me that the hair that poor child had on her head which was carefully shorn from the virgin head of an Indian woman and lovingly offered to a temple was fake hair but their own which was probably made from barbed wire and horse tail was the real one........I had no words.
Now I understand that human hair is pricey and to be willing to shell out that kind of money you have to have quite a high opinion of yourself, no use trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear now. The fact remains though, that whichever way you choose to look at it, buying human hair is actually worth the cost. How you say? Well I've only ever bought human hair twice in my life and I bought both sets, 1 full head of Brazilian and 1 full head of Indian hair exactly 3 years ago. The sum was astronomical I admit, but consider the fact that I've been using this hair for 3 years....and I have no signs of slowing down. The hair is still full, healthy, shiny, I swear to you I have not added a single extra track since I bought them. I have one extra full head of Remi Goddess, that I use when I want to do my bangs, and I've been using that for about 2 years now and when I want to get my short hair done, I use like N500 weaves or so. In the past 3 years I've spent about N2,000 on weaves for the short hair......let me repeat myself N2,000 on weaves in 3 years.
I don't hate on TNGs or even synthetic hair girls, so why the constant antipathy towards girls who use human hair?
I actually love natural hair. A few years ago, my friend Nneka went natural and I was so impressed by her lustrous afro locks I decided to undergo the big chop myself......big mistake....huge! Now my darling Neks is part Caucasian and was therefore blessed with "good" hair through her British grandmother. I on the other hand as an Ada Mazi of Arondizuogu of 100% negroid ethnicity....well, not so much. I blithely ignored that fact, I must to be natural utunu.
It was a disaster.
My hair is tough, my hair is the "Before" in bad hair commercials, my hair is so tough that a day after relaxing it, its already going nachy again, the natural hair path was therefore closed to me. I actually stuck it out for almost a year until my hair stylist, the darling Manny of Bobby's threatened to tie me down and relax my hair, he couldnt bear the tears anymore when I tried to comb it. It was unmanageable. I tried all the remedies, shea butter gbogbo ehn gbogbo ehn, nothing for me. One day I just gave up and went and got myself some of that creamy crack, hello straight hair!
My hair doesn't define me, when I had natural hair, when I have my weaves in, I'm the exact same person. I have my hair out (relaxed of course) between weave appointments but its never more than about 10 days, I just don't have the patience to deal with it. I like the fact that when I have weaves on, its so much easier to deal with hair, you just brush and go, it works for me. For instance I detest false nails but do I look at girls who have acrylic addiction as deficient? No. Its just something they like, nothing to do with their personality at all. TNGs on the other hand, once they have that natural hair in, omo, they'll start becoming "conscious", doing spoken word, tying turbans, going to Common and Talib Kweli concerts, acting all extra African, tailoring their personality to fit the kind of person they think they should be because they have natural hair (personally I blame the Hood-Rat Queen Mother of Natural Hair, Erykah Badu).
This post is not an attack on #TeamNatural, its merely a PSA, y'all need to relax, life is not that serious, get a hot comb and some warmed up shea butter, un-kink those tight knots, lie down for a bit, have a mint julep and repeat after me........
I am not my hair
I am not my hair
I am not my hair
Love and light xxx
© THIRD WORLD PROFASHIONAL . com | All rights reserved.